Almondeyes
New member
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2009
- Messages
- 4
- Reaction score
- 0
I'm a 43 year old woman who has been alone for a long time. I had an arranged marriage when I was 21 and was divorced by 23. I have never been in relationship functional or dysfunctional since then. I so clearly see that life has passed me by. I've been successful professionally and have used this to keep me busy. I have many friends. As a child and young adult I loved the holidays. I was the person to put up the tree, bake the cookies, sing carols. I'm Hindu by birth but was born and raised in the US so have a marriage of cultures. I have so many friends and have a good life despite my hidden loneliness or a lack of someone special. I have kind of accepted that maybe I'm missing something to make that connection. I also am realistic that as someone of different ethnicity and religion in the bible belt its hard to meet people. I always seem to meet men while traveling so know that I'm capable of being attractive to and attracted to men when in another setting. What's becoming more and more difficult is over the past few years I've started to dread the holidays and get very depressed as it approaches. I am tired of going to the office parties alone. I am tired of watching everyone with so much going on and me being the hanger on in other people's lives. I am the outsider this time of year. I feel like people feel sorry for me. My parents are wonderful but of another culture and I've been alienated from that culture since my divorce. I find I spend time with them but have little in common with them anymore other than our relationship and memories. I have a brother that is not emotionally available to me just to his wife and children. I am close to my nieces but they are teenagers and have their own life. I have another brother who I have no contact with. I'm not sure other family members do and I chose not to know. When I was younger he would try to use me as a sexual object and for some reason even as a child I knew this was wrong. I haven't told anyone this but it is my reason I have no relationship with him.
Before you say go volunteer, i am sooo busy with work especially this time of the year it's hard for me to keep a in advance time comittment.
Does anyone else feel especially isolated this time of year. I don't know if I can go through another holiday season. It's just too much.[/font]
Before you say go volunteer, i am sooo busy with work especially this time of the year it's hard for me to keep a in advance time comittment.
Does anyone else feel especially isolated this time of year. I don't know if I can go through another holiday season. It's just too much.[/font]