Rebuilding

For anyone that doesnt know I suffer from BP, OCD & anxiety but try not to let this rule my life, however hard this is.

Except I find myself alone because of this and often I think its because most of the time I can stand my ground, I can look after myself and am willing to help others fight the madness in there head, thats just me. But my past experience has been that because I a stong person with my lillness that others seems to forget that I too do suffer.

This brings me to where I am now................................I have trust issues and I dont quite know how to break out of this and rebuild, even though I see therapists to help, this really has now helped. Its not only this the above, its with all relationships...............I feel like I have been let down, used and abused, lied to, you name its happen which leaves me in a shell where I am trying by being here to learn to trust again.

Its hard, but I know that closing myself off from the world is killing me inside, even though writing this is making me sick to because I dont know how to trust again..........................all that is very deep rooted. Its not that it stops me from doing things, other then avoiding people, because if people were to see me they would think I have it all, but I dont, its just a great mask that I wear so I dont get hurt again...............but its empty and lonely and I want to change this.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to rebuild trust?

hmm,

I've had the same qualms as well

is a ditch, and accidental brush off, or dear lord i hope i never see that person again ditch

well just start off slow, i don't really know how it's working with me

try to not think about the future or how long will we be friends,

just try and be calm, talk to people, and just engage in a conversation, most likey thee will converse with you,

start off with a compliment i like your shoes, where'd you get them i have a similar pair

I'd say prepare for the worst but hope for the best

be cautious at first, and just don't get very emotionally invested in people for a while, just enjoy their company for the moment

and if they make plans or something don't accept an I'll call you, or we'll see each other, get a specific meeting place and time

of course i have issues about asking for phone numbers, because I don't people thinking I'm a creepy flirt or something, and it is hard young people are lazy and aimless, they/we just wing everything which has it's perks for a while

but ya


well good luck

Thanks for your reply..............................................thats my sort of think with most things.............................think the worst in the start, my theroy and yours probably to it cant get get worse then worse it can only go up from there!

I think you have some really good ideas as I tend to get emotionally involved with people very quickly and I think this could be a downfall on my behalf because I feel so lonely I tend to say everything under the sun, there is no limits.....................................its because I am lonely and have been silent for a while.

It actually on occurred to me that I have issues when this guy asked for my number at work..................................I gave it to him and he is cute and all but he has called me 3 times now and I am just making excuses to get off the phone. I am sort of glad he is away overseas for the next 3 months because maybe by the time he gets back I can have a better grip on myself and this issue.

Its hit me like a ton of bricks how scared I am of forming friendships.

PS I went and saw Evanescence a few years ago, they were great!!

hey well that's good a guy asked for your number

it is scary, once you get something because then you are just overwhelemd with the fear of losing someone and being alone again

oh you saw evanescence that's awesome i saw them in 07 it was so exciting

for an encore they played my immortal it was so pretty i cried a little

i'm always glad to meet another fan