Are we not all the same?

I read a lot on these forums about people complaining about how shallow people of the world are and how other people ignore them because they do not fit into a certain group or look a certain way. I would like to offer the perspective that we are not much different than the people of the world that look down on us.

I sometimes get upset with people who I feel are ignoring me or seemingly don’t care that I exist. I think to myself, “man, if these people would get off their high horse long enough to just get to know me….”

But wait….Am I any different than the people I speak of that seemingly ignore me?…no, I’m not.

There have been plenty of people throughout my life that I have sadly looked down upon and not gotten to know simply because I didn’t care for how they looked or I didn’t want for other people to see me associated with that person. I may have always been shy, but especially in high school, I wanted to be seen with the right type of people, even if those people were not true friends. I ignored and did not communicate with certain people that I knew other people didn‘t want to have anything to do with. If I thought other people would ridicule me for becoming buddies with a certain person then I stayed away from that person and I ignored them even if they tried to get to know me.

I now regret that I did that because I’m sure those people feel just as bad, and probably worse then I do about my social life. Even though I was lonely I would not talk to certain people based simply on my views of them, others views of them, or how they looked.

Really, I feel that everyone is like me to a certain extent. It may seem like your problems are caused by the world, but have there been chances that you didn’t take advantage of based simply on your biases or feelings against a person?

People aren’t much different, and to a certain extent everyone who is not happy with their situation has chances to change or make their lives better, and many times we do not take those chances because we are too blind blaming other people for their failures that we do not see our own.

“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself.”

But often, we do for the thought of others and not our self.

Coverage said:

But wait….Am I any different than the people I speak of that seemingly ignore me?…no, I’m not.

***I now regret that I did that because I’m sure those people feel just as bad,*** .

Click to expand...

Coverage, IMHO this is what makes you different from people who look down on others. You regret having done it. You have realized a lesson and are empathetic to another human beings feelings. I don't think people who look down on others have that. I don't think it's fair to base who you are right now with who you were or what you did. Just my opinion.

i think you are right that we are all the same..but not really in the way you mean it lol


..but yea i can honestly say there has been no one in my life who i did not get to know cause of how they looked or what other people thought of them.. i really just have never cared about what others thought on that level.

but yea in terms of being shallow.. i cant speak for the world... but i'm very shallow sometimes

this post has a lot of i's in it.. feels weird...

oh, if only i were a ninja.. how many asses would i kick.. all the bastards that deliberately humiliated, bullied, ostracized, downtrod and hurt others.. i would leave a wake of bruised butts in my rampage.. hehe.. just a fantasy. i could never and can't protect every soul i see getting an unfairly raw deal from some thoughtless jerk.. though i can stand up against signs of injustice and unfair treatment with the abilities and courage i do have.. i do what i can.

i agree with naleena that since you have even thought about this and now have regrets, you have learned valuable lessons of compassion and empathy.

sometimes we get trapped in fear.. of what others may think of us and behave in a way that we know deep down is not what we are or what we want to be.. but don't be too hard on yourself.. you just wanted to be liked and accepted.. that is very human.. now you realise that there is a balance and with your knew found knowledge you can now make different choices and show others the way..

"As time goes by in this give and take
As long as I learn I will make mistakes"

Beastie Boys

You guys are right.

Even though when I wrote this I thought I was writing it towards everyone, I suppose I was simply writing to/about myself regarding my frustrations. Thanks for the insight Naleena.

I was in bad mood today which would probably explain the "everyones shallow" spin I put into it.

I know this sounds kind of weird but, I actually am glad that I had such a rough time in this life now that I am where I'm at. I would not be the person I am today without it. I was really overweight all throughout school and if I had been thin I'm pretty positive I would have a few fatherless kids right now. I did eventually lose 130 pounds and thought people were being sarcastic with me when they were being nice or when guys would try and ask me out, i was a complete lunatic with no social skills. Eventually with wonderful patience from dear coworker friends I finally learned how to talk to people and not choke on myself haha! Almost got married but knew it wasn't right and deep down inside I knew I couldn't devote myself to someone who could hit me with thier fist. I wasted a good 5 years and a few thousand dollars thinking I was with someone who loved me, turns out I'm a sucker! Learned another lesson now I have to live with my parents and bail myself out of debt, but thats my fault. I feel like theres always something new to learn now, and I know I would have ended up to be someone I really don't like if I had an easy life. I would have no patience, no sympathy, no compassion, no gratitude, and probably no smiles on my face either.

Just learn how to play the guitar...man
Chicks don't really give a fresia how you look or if you're poor if you can tap
the G-string...
When you get rich and famouse you'll have people stick to ya like crazy glue.

Seriously though...Stop comparing your inside with other's outside.
The world dosn't evolve around ya of course...

Btw..did you know that you are completely whole already?
You don't lack anything.
mmmm...lets say you were programmed with this belief from
the day you were born and constantly was re enforced by it...

InstEAD of being programmed with guilt , shame, lack, incompleteness..
Such as... you have to do this or that to get into heaven.
Or ...you have to be like this or that to be loved...

Being different is fine. I think much of what hurts us is that dreadful inability to connect because of circumstances most of us have no control over. Low self-esteem, our environments, lack of opportunity all conspire to keep us locked into a cycle that often spirals downwards. I do not know what the answer is, or how you break that cycle, but the only way at all is to be in places where people are, and for people to know we are available.

Yes, we are all different... But isn't that what is so good about being human? There has to be a parallel path somewhere for each of us. It amazes me that more of the people who come in here do not hook up. After all, we are here because we are fed up with being alone...

Lonesome Crow said:

Btw..did you know that you are completely whole already?
You don't lack anything.
mmmm...lets say you were programmed with this belief from
the day you were born and constantly was re enforced by it...

InstEAD of being programmed with guilt , shame, lack, incompleteness..
Such as... you have to do this or that to get into heaven.
Or ...you have to be like this or that to be loved...

Click to expand...

yeah, imagine that eh. imagine parents/society feeding children love instead of dysfunction. it's all so slow..

i choose you to be my dad LC. ah.. ****.. too late!