Alone on the planet

The older I get the more disturbed I feel.

I have never gone out socially at all in any way. No pubs, bars, work parties, mates and dread family get togethers. I find get togethers of any kind very depressing indeed almost to the point of making me ill.
Now I'm fifty and married with two kids. I find it hard to leave the house because I feel unsafe, feel threatened and panic. I only feel safe in my own house.

I have been a keen angler all my life but again for a long time now I just can't go. I want to and get all my gear ready, food etc the night before but chances are I can't face walking out the door. If I do get out then the chances of me staying out for more than an hour is zero, I always feel as if I need to get back home to safety.

For the last twenty years I have become depressed and feel very lonely. I have always thought I was a bit of a nutter and now I reckon thats true. Always felt very alone in crowds and the feelign that I never fit in anywhere I go. Thats why I never go to work do's as I feel unwanted.

It's a sad old life when you feel alone isn't it. No one to chat to or share your deepest darkest thoughts.

Although I'm married with kids I still feel alone.

I need some spirituality in my life, not necessarily a religion.

Quite nice to find a forum where you can chat..

Does anyone else know what I mean when I say that I feel unsafe outside and need to get back home?

so what do you do for work if you dont want to leave the house? how do you feed yourself? who does the shopping for you?

I go to work because I have to support my family but I drive to work then straight home again. I have worked with a couple of my work colleagues for twenty one years but never socialize after work or party at Christmas when everyone else has a great time. For me Christmas makes me even more depressed than ever.
Luckily for me my wife does all the family shopping. She thinks I'm crazy and doesn't understand what I mean when I say I don't feel safe outside of the house.

Hey, Hermes, and welcome to the forum.

Hey Hermes

Welcome to this humble forum. Your still young enough to get out and do what you want and healthy enough too. Although I am young I can offer a little advice through what i've seen in my own grandfather.

When he was going through life, I'd say to his forty's he was an alcoholic and not really the most loving man. " I know this does not really relate to you" but he's changed his life now. You mentioned you need something in your life and I guess so did he. He's more a spiritual man, read tons of books on meditation and spirituality. He does palm reading and Tarot. He's done spiritual healing etc. It's been great for him and the more I learn from him the better it all sounds. He's covered things like Dowsing etc. He loves it. I'm not sure if any of that is your bag but it's an idea.

yes..I kind of been there in many ways.
I was in a relationship and felt very alone.

I isolated myself from the outside world for a year. I didn't leave my house unless I have
to go to the store..then I hual ass home. It only took 10 mins...but I had to pysch myself
up for hours before I leave my house. I didn't want to be around people.
Poeple on here help talked me into going outside of my house everyday..even if it was just 5 mins at first.
I had to take baby steps....
It took me 2 weeks to make it to a local park which is only 2 blocks from my house..lol
eventaully i was able to ride my bike for 5 miles per day.
Sometimes I would make myself sit at the park for a couple of hours.

A lot of people on here reached out to me and helped me.

Eventaully I was able to return to my support groups again.
For the first couple of weeks..I felt like vommiting being around people.
That was a challenge...but I made a decision i would try.
It wasn't easy..but I kept on trying...

I'm also a recoverying alcoholic or I don't drinking anymore...
I stopped drinking and using when I was only 22....I'm currently 43.
I work the 12 steps program...it's a spiritaul programm and not religious.
I have support system and talk to people that can help me and understand me.

My life is different today...there's been changes.
I feel much better. There's still challenges in my life today but they're different challenges...
There's been a lot of healing, love and hope in my life recently..It's kind of like a mirracle , I guess....

Posted by hermes -
I have never gone out socially at all in any way. No pubs, bars, work parties, mates.

Iam also.. but i dont afraid of public.

Although I'm married with kids I still feel alone.

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Eventhough you are married,you are lonely.Hmm..that is weird.Can you explain this some more.
Your wife wont talk with you properly ?
Your wife also like a friend to you.....and ? about kids....
Iam not married.I have no interest to marry.I dont have any friend.Iam lonely.I dont worry that i dont have any friend.Just passing my time in my usual way.

It's a sad old life when you feel alone isn't it. No one to chat to or share your deepest darkest thoughts.

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I can understand that. Remember worrying gives trouble to Health only.So stop worrying.

Hey, and welcome.

Greetings and Salutations!

You sound like you have a social or other similar anxiety disorder. Have you looked into getting any kind of treatment? You shouldn't feel scared to get out of the house (although believe me, I totally understand that feeling and struggle with it a lot)

Don't you worry my friend, you are on the right track. Spirituality has really done so much for my self esteem and anxiety issues. Im 30 years old and I have pretty much felt depressed atleast half of these 30 years. My spirituality revolves mostly around nature and an interest in the natives of the americas. My interest in nature has helped me become more observant with my senses. I have gotten into horticulture and herbology. Teaching myself and learning about some of the plants that grow where I live. Learning about certain medicinal values particular plants have. Plants like Echinacea with its immune system boosting properties. Or perhaps goldenrod with the ability to fight off viruses and infection.

Also trying to live a healthier more active lifestyle might be helpful when you are depressed. Eating healthy, living healthy, being healthy. Enjoy yourself on planet Earth. Do activities with the brain. Exercise your brain. Things like sudoku, or even video games have the ability to help exercise the brain. Listen to music that has lots of notes going on around the same time. That also helps with brain stimulation. Listen to "binaural beats" while meditating will help.

Constantly reassure your situation with positive praise. Think positive, live positive, be positive. Find joy in the simple pleasures. Throw away the television. Learn something new. Start a new hobby. Think creativily. Have an abstract mind. Smile.

hermes said:

The older I get the more disturbed I feel.

I have never gone out socially at all in any way. No pubs, bars, work parties, mates and dread family get togethers. I find get togethers of any kind very depressing indeed almost to the point of making me ill.
Now I'm fifty and married with two kids. I find it hard to leave the house because I feel unsafe, feel threatened and panic. I only feel safe in my own house.

I have been a keen angler all my life but again for a long time now I just can't go. I want to and get all my gear ready, food etc the night before but chances are I can't face walking out the door. If I do get out then the chances of me staying out for more than an hour is zero, I always feel as if I need to get back home to safety.

For the last twenty years I have become depressed and feel very lonely. I have always thought I was a bit of a nutter and now I reckon thats true. Always felt very alone in crowds and the feelign that I never fit in anywhere I go. Thats why I never go to work do's as I feel unwanted.

It's a sad old life when you feel alone isn't it. No one to chat to or share your deepest darkest thoughts.

Although I'm married with kids I still feel alone.

I need some spirituality in my life, not necessarily a religion.

Quite nice to find a forum where you can chat..

Does anyone else know what I mean when I say that I feel unsafe outside and need to get back home?

Click to expand...