insignificant

I miss my mother. At the same time, I am angry that she left me here. I get angry with myself for being so selfish. Then I feel guilty. I should have done something more to keep her alive, for her to want to live and be healthy.

My efforts weren't enough. All of the times she admitted she didn't want to be here anymore, and that she said I would be "just fine without her". I am not "fine", I still need her here. Why didn't my existence alone persuade her to turn away from her drugs or get her to help for herself. Why am I not enough?

There are still things that I didn't get a chance to learn from her and share with her. Maybe there were chances all along and it's my fault for not taking advantage of them.

My grandmother is getting older and says she is tired of taking care of people. I am just another financial burden that was thrown into her lap when my mother passed.

My half-sister doesn't call me. She wants nothing to do with me unless she wants something.

I feel so alone. I am writing this here because I am tired of burdening my boyfriend with all of my emotional baggage. Beginning to think that maybe all I have become towards my loved ones, a burden.

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If anyone would like to, feel free to post from your own experiences.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. That is something you should never have to go through, Ever. To blame yourself for not trying hard enough is the last thing you can do. You can not put others burdens on to yourself like that. It was not your fault and she should not have left you behind. No mother should let go of her child like that, and it was not you no matter what you had done did or think you could have done better. So you just can't think that.

I'm sorry for the pain you must be going through

I am very sorry for your mothers passing,

but i know that it was no caused by something you did or didn't do,

sometimes little constant things, cause people to show the bad sides of themselves

but i know deep down your grandmother loves you and would do anything for you the same with your half sister

the constant ongoings of live seem to overshadow the importance of showing love to one another


life is hard and we're all frustrated by things we don't have or have to deal with

but you are a good person and i hope and pray that good things will come your way

It's hard to come back, read, and reply to this. Something about admitting to my vulnerabilities makes me feel out of place.

The responses and support you two offered helps, a lot. Thank you.