Do you leave yourself vulnerable?

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I think nearly everyone here can agree that being lonely and having noone to share an emotional connection with is no fun. Regardless if you have been in this situation in the past or are currently in this situation then I would be interested in knowing your thoughts.

Has your lonely state left you in a vulnerable position as far as relationships are concerned? By that I mean do you feel that you are open to accepting advances made by people that are just not right for you or who have the potential to harm you (physically or emotionally)? Would you lower your standards or take an unnessecary risk that in the past you wouldn't have done, in order to fill that empty void you have in your life?

On the flip side, do you feel that you could control your emotions and wait out for a person you truly do like inside and out, despite your loneliness?
 
For myself, I would fall more into the latter partly due to my personality, conservative upbringing, and being aware to the experiences of others.

Better to be alone, than to be with misery as a friend.

Had I not been raised with strong family values, I can guarantee that I would be ******* around town, along with throwing my heart out to anyone that would give me the time of day....as I am so incredibly lonely. ;-;

Despite how I manage to repel men away (**** you men...going to turn lesbian at 30 - so your loss!), be it through magical powers which I am oblivious too - I cannot and will not settle for any Tom, Dick, or Harry that may come my way.

Not necessarily do I want someone *special*, but I would want someone who will appreciate me for who I am and will not manipulate me into who they want me to be. At the risk of sounding bitter, there are a not a lot of people who show their true intentions when trying to form a relationship with you.

When you give your heart out to the world, it will be returned to you in broken pieces.

One can only look out for him/herself especially in a selfish, instant-gratification society and find the people who are worth their love.

If they can't appreciate what I can give them, then they are not worth any time, thought or effort of mine.

Coverage, what about yourself?
 
yes loneliness has made me leave myself vulnerable... but it also brought the best person into my life..others before him didnt meet my standards and were not right for me... he blew my standards out of wherever they were..more than i even thought possible.
 
im desperate... so yeah, i accept a lot more then when i first started.
 
Yes my lonely state has probably left myself more vulnerable I would assume. It has brought me to try to believe that everybody has to be special in their own way like even if they are unattractive to many people. To me its like why do any of us have the right to judge someone's physical attractiveness when most people who are attractive were born attractive and did nothing to be that way as far as attraction goes physically. Where as people who are considered bad looking did not wish themselves to be put in this situation. So yes overtime I think its caused me to be less judgemental of people and accept more and more people. When it comes to someone's personality though I tend to be more cautious because I don't regularly accept people who are cruel or hurtful. But who am I to know lol girls tend to like run away from me probably because I'm shy and unattractive.
 
i think in part i am lonely because i dont compromise on who i will be friends with. i just dont get a long with a lot of people and im not willing to put on a show just so i can pretend im not lonely.
 
Yes, at a certain stage of isolating myself, I was extreemly vulnerable.
As I attemp to reach out there were poaple that tried to take avantage
of me...Even in my support groups. There are those that wasn't looking
out for my best interest...

The process of learning how to trust again wasn't easy.
I knew I was mentally and emotionally unstable. I also accepted that
I wasn't well...
I even had to let a couple of people on here do some of my thinking
for me. When I came across circumstance that deep down inside I knew
wasn't quite right. It wasn't easy but I open up myself to these people
without the fear of being judge as I was trying to get well...

Graudually I was able to transfer whatever trust I've establish into
people in real life. It wasn't an easy process...I took my time searching
for a right person to be my sponsor.
My sponsor is a medical doctor. Yet he was a very humble man.
He is rich, he has a GF and there's a level of honestly and integrity
about him....In a nutshell....he has pretty much everything going
for him, so I didn't feel like he would take avantage of me.
He has been very supportive, encouraging, non juggemental and not adbrasive...

Then slowly I started to open up myself to another person. I learn
how to trust him over time....he reached out to me and calls me
almost everyday just to talk to me...as some members on this forum
had. We became good friends over time. He still calls me almost ever other
day or I call him. He knows all of my secrets as I know his.

Graudually as I got better , I was able to learn how to establish
boundaries.I became more mentally and emotionall stable and was
able to make better decisions...It's something that my sponsor was
helping through...He never gave me advice nor told me what to do.
He knew eventaully I had to learn to make my own decisions or stand
on my own to feet again...It was a process i had to go through in order
to get well...I made mistakes along the way but I learn from them....

Then oneday a person ( female) came into my life...
The process of progress...I was struggle with trusting women
and relationship issues. No matter how supportive my sponsor or male
friend was to me...There were somethings they couldn't help me with...
I remember breaking down into tears and crying my heart out
of all the hurt and pains I was holding inside of me because of my ex-gf.
I was extreemly vaulnerable. She had to hold me very tight as I cried
like a baby for 1/2 hour. She nevered judged me.
She and I had became good friends over time...there were time too
that she open up herself to me about a lot of her personal issues
and challegnes she was going through..Trust...we were learning how
to trust again....
hahahaaa...sometimes people mistake us as being a couple if they didn't know us...
That's what people tells us. Then they find out we're just very close friends.
I've always had plutonic relationships....

It was a process of me seperating my ex-gf from other women...
My female friend wasn't like my ex-gf. She truely loves me and cares
about me as a person...

As I got better and better. More poaple came into my life...
It's a miracle in a way...I guess.
I'm able to learn how to open up myself to my Sweetheart.
It's been healing and very emotional for the both of us.
I was honest to her from the start. Our relationship is getting
better and better everyday. I'm actaully having an intimate relationship
with my sweetheart,today. We are alot closer than today than we were married...I love her very, very much.

My daughter is also reaching out to me...She's learning how to
trust again...I'm grateful I'm able to be there for her.
She's opening herself to me...she's very vulnerable.
The experinced I've went through...I'm able to give to my duaghter.
The unconditional love, compassion and understadning..
I'm her daddy...and she will always be my child no matter how old she is...
I don't give her advice nor tell her what to do.
It's a process she's going through. She's making mistakes as I've had...
She learning how to forgive herself and love herself again.
I love her very much.
 
I don't think I've lowered my standards, altered them maybe... but when I feel they're met by someone who shows an interest in me I become attatched to her in a way I know isn't normal or healthy. Thinking of her becomes an addiction, a way to get high, a way to get through the day. When a potential relationship doesn't seem like a possibility it's like drug withdrawal... depression and anxiety is amplified. Being so close yet so far from happiness is one of the worst feelings I've experienced. It's scary to think of my mental stability should I ever enter a relationship with a girl like this and establish a real emotional connection only to have her breakup with me. It scares the honeysuckle out of me.
 
after repeatedly being let down / used i am now wary of people in general and i dont really let people in so i dont think they could find what is vulnerable about me, i can understand tho how being alone makes you vulnerable because the more time you are lonely the more you will want company/ make friends so the easier it is for a weirdo or an A$$hole to get close.
 
I think it has.

I tried the love thing, genuine real feelings for someone.......twice. Two years of my life and counting spent on them and I had success neither time. So much **** blood spilt and suffering for nothing, to be left with nothing which is where I am now. Pour my ******* heart out and not be given one chance, some piece of honeysuckle chosen over me.

I don't think I care anymore, I would most likely take a toxic relationship right now if I could.......and probably at least half a dozen before I'd care again.

Probably more........I've never felt what its like to truly be with someone and at this point I would likely take a really potent poison to fill the void, yep. I'm bound to get hurt many more times throughout my life so whatever.
 
(**** you men...going to turn lesbian at 30 - so your loss!)

Luna: Haha is that like Plan B for you or something? I don't think you'll ever need Plan B. You'll find someone. ^_^

----Steve
 
I've said this before, but I got very lucky. The best kind of person came into my life when I was very vulnerable.
 

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