I'm just not an interesting person and I think people find me as weird

Does anybody else feel the same way? I try my hardest to to be a more talkative person but I find my mind going blank with nothing to say. Than when I think of something to say it just doesn't come out and I question myself on what I'm thinking about saying and think to myself that would be a stupid thing to say about everything I think of. I just lack interesting qualities about myself probably because I second guess myself and usually judge myself harshly. How can one break out of their shell become more humurous and a more fun person to be around? I never can find anything funny or witty to say its like that part of my brain isn't functioning anymore like it was in the past. Everyone around me just makes interacting and conversation look so easy and its like I just don't get it. Maybe it was my upbringing that made me this way I just don't know. I wish I had the answer and I probably never will. People seem to treat shy people as if they are weird but its strange because its like haven't they ran into shy people before? We aren't really all that weird because there are plenty of us out there but I guess people just can't understand unless they have been in our shoes. It feels like I'm suppose to spend most of my life alone and I just refuse to accept that. Maybe I am just too weird and uninteresting .

You sound like me in high school. I know that's not helpful, but that is exactly how I felt in high school.

coricopat said:

You sound like me in high school. I know that's not helpful, but that is exactly how I felt in high school.

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Just you telling me you were that way before is helpful thanks. Its always good to know someone else feels or felt the same way.

i am really interesting in putting a reply to this
well the thing is were you born in America? because if you were, there is no way you will not end up being interesting, because you know why, American are very knowledgeable and aware of the world around them, i don't care what the rumors and stereotypes say. i found it very hard too, that's why i have been avoiding a lot of house paties and stuff. people always find themselves relating to each other and make conversation flow so easily because they know something in common. whether it be games stuff, or writers or other authors, different cities and stuff.
right now i am trying to read a lot, anything that interest me more likely, but also i read things that i have no clue about. and i also like to hang out around adult people because sometimes the things i know are not young people favorite topics to discuss.
i am trying to say, not only you're not the only one, but also there are some of us that are worse. and also i found that if you don't worry too much about something it become obsolete in a way, and more qualities you did not even know you possess come out and are noted by others

so hang in there and you'll found a smarter flock of people who will enjoy listening to what you have to say and the jokes you make and stuff...

Hah, don't worry about it so much, I say!

Everyone is weird in some way...it's just that some large groups of people happen to share the same weirdness...so it looks like they aren't, but they are!

I frequently find that when I'm courteous to strangers (giving a kind word, saying "hello" just because, etc), those strangers look at me like I've sprouted horns and yelled at them. I have no idea why! I was being nice! I don't smell! I bathe often! I brush my teeth! I'm not ugly! But there's SOME reason that nice words and courteousness look strange coming from me.

Instead of getting upset about it, I just remind myself that we're all a bit weird...and apparently it's weird when I'm nice! Just don't blow it up into something bigger than it is! Everyone picks at their own percieved flaws...but what we think are our flaws are often seen as beauty marks (or nonexistant) by others. Don't judge yourself so harshly! ^_^

----Steve

Oh yeah, sounds terribly familiar. I honestly do my best to be a more fun and talkative person but it looks like there is something missing (or not functioning properly) in my brain that is responsible for making fluent conversation. It's nearly always hard work for me to talk to people, and that's not for the lack of wanting or trying. I don't understand, what does that make people like us, dumb or what? It's supposed to be easy and enjoyable for heaven's sake! Anyway, it's easier when the person I'm talking to is a chatty one themselves and/or we have something in common. If this is not the case, however, then it's tough. In other words, I feel your problem.

((((((((((hug))))))))
hey remedy... noone is boring really, it's just a matter of finding some experience in talking to people
it gets easier with time, don't give up

Interesting is relative. Also, I'm pretty much in the same situation as you are, I think we just need to keep on trying (as cliché as that might sound). Don't give up!

i agree
(hug)

Remedy said:

I just lack interesting qualities about myself probably because I second guess myself and usually judge myself harshly. How can one break out of their shell become more humurous and a more fun person to be around? I never can find anything funny or witty to say its like that part of my brain isn't functioning anymore like it was in the past.

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For most shy people, there comes a time when they just have to start talking. Talk about things you enjoy, things you hate or ANYTHING you can think of. There will always be people that don't want to listen, but there's usually some that do as well.

I found this message interesting enough to reply to, so I know you can't be completely boring.

Remedy: Humor can't be fabricated or learned through study...it just happens. Find some wacky people, do some dumb stuff with them, and you'll be fine. You say that in the past you felt like you had wit and humor? Well, you still have the same brain (as far as I know!), so I'm sure you're still quite capable of tossing out some snorkers. It just takes the right situation and the right people to be around. ^_^

----Steve

Badjedidude said:

Remedy: Humor can't be fabricated or learned through study...it just happens. Find some wacky people, do some dumb stuff with them, and you'll be fine. You say that in the past you felt like you had wit and humor? Well, you still have the same brain (as far as I know!), so I'm sure you're still quite capable of tossing out some snorkers. It just takes the right situation and the right people to be around. ^_^

----Steve

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very true

Remedy said:

Does anybody else feel the same way? I try my hardest to to be a more talkative person but I find my mind going blank with nothing to say. Than when I think of something to say it just doesn't come out and I question myself on what I'm thinking about saying and think to myself that would be a stupid thing to say about everything I think of. I just lack interesting qualities about myself probably because I second guess myself and usually judge myself harshly. How can one break out of their shell become more humurous and a more fun person to be around? I never can find anything funny or witty to say its like that part of my brain isn't functioning anymore like it was in the past. Everyone around me just makes interacting and conversation look so easy and its like I just don't get it. Maybe it was my upbringing that made me this way I just don't know. I wish I had the answer and I probably never will. People seem to treat shy people as if they are weird but its strange because its like haven't they ran into shy people before? We aren't really all that weird because there are plenty of us out there but I guess people just can't understand unless they have been in our shoes. It feels like I'm suppose to spend most of my life alone and I just refuse to accept that. Maybe I am just too weird and uninteresting .

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Its hard to break out of shyness, and be more talkative. I still have trouble doing that. But I've found that a majority of my shyness comes from me being to self-conscious, I try act differently in front of people, especially women I find attractive. I find myself more talkative when I stop thinking about what to talk about and just sorta talk, and before I know it one topic leads to another.

A conversation is just like a discussion, give your opinions and hear other opinions, if you show some interest in that discussion I think you would be fine (if you don't care about something its really hard to talk about it). But people start thinking your weird when you talk about inappropriate topics, these should be quite obvious though; for example, you probably wouldn't talk about getting honeysuckle-faced at a party to your parents.

Even though I've branched out in to doing my own things, I still find that outside of my profession I'm lost and alone.

I talk to other people in my field and my organization just fine. I joke, laugh, discuss things and talk about my day. I'm a social butterfly.

Watching me there, nobody would realize that if you put me anywhere else, I have no cards in my hand whatsoever. As a firefighter I don't like talking about my job or what I do with other people. It seems to me that there's too many braggarts in this line of work; as much as I appreciate volunteer departments, most of those braggarts are god **** volunteer firemen with no respect for the profession who just want a pager and jacket to look important. It's embarrassing to me. If you see a car adorned with stickers like "I fight what you fear" or other firefighter tripe, I guarantee it's a volunteer. The only way you'd know a paid guy is by his IAFF sticker.

So I don't talk about it. It's a job. I love it, but it's still just my job. Do people celebrate the guy in the garbage truck when he comes and collects their dumpster? Not usually. We're no different. A real professional firefighter generally groans at the thought of watching 'Ladder 49' or 'Backdraft', and wishes crap like 'Rescue Me' or whatever that new paramedic show is had never been made (though 'Emergency!' was pretty awesome). Also, that other new one about the Orange County Recruit Academy is so hyped up it's not even funny. Seriously, people, find something important to aggrandize.

With that philosophy, I don't really talk about what I do. It's one thing if I'm asked about it, but I still downplay it and try to avoid the subject. I don't imagine principles of friction loss, types of hose lays, fire behaviour, or the mechanics of a centrifugal pump are very interesting topics to most people, and would just come across as me trying to look important. And things like the last open stomach wound I saw or the smell of the puss and bile oozing from John Doe's gangrenous foot are best kept to myself when out to lunch with everyday people. That leaves me to talk about school, fishing, or mountain biking. Or where I'm from.

I have nothing else. Outside of work, I feel like I'm boring as hell. I literally have no social life outside of work because of this.

Stop worrying so much about what others think and be yourself.

If someone tells me they think theyre boring i instantly find them to be...guess what...boring.

Dont tell people you feel this way in real life. In fact, dont worry about it. Just focus on getting to know people and being more aware of the people around you.

It's a game. Being interesting in conversation comes naturally to some people, but to most it's just a game where you have to learn the rules and play along. I hate small talk, and like Remedy I have nothing to say when people speak of uninteresting things. The thing to learn is that mostly, when someone is talking, they are at their happiest when talking about themselves, so the trick is to grunt and nod in agreement and sometimes ask them something about what they've just said. It works for me - I can go up to twenty, sometimes thirty minutes without having to really say anything. Just as long as they think you're listening (whether you are or not), they're happy.

Now, on the off chance that someone would ask you to talk about yourself, well, for that you need a couple of beers. But that's a different story.