Anyone else hate family gatherings?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Ridin Solo

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2009
Messages
48
Reaction score
0
So today I barely survived a christmas party with my extended family. Nothing makes me feel more alienated than being around relatives I can't even have normal interaction with. They're good people and all, but we've never been close and have nothing in common. Most of my cousins I couldn't even acknowledge being there because we never got to know eachother on a friendly level or even had a one-on-one conversation. When a few of them initiate interaction I feel bad that I hadn't. My aunts and uncles no doubt think I'm strange, shy or a combination of both. For some reason I'm more outgoing around total strangers than I am around these people. I just can't relate to them and don't even know what's going on in their lives to spark an interesting conversation. I feel like all I can do is talk about myself, and that gets old really fast when nothing exciting is going on in my life. Before these get-togethers I feel like an independant, self-sufficient loner... during and after I feel like a timid little kid again like nothing has changed. I just feel so drained and depressed...
 
Yeah, I used to feel the same way when I was younger. But after me and my closer family moved to Spain we don't make any gatherings cause there's no one living closer. That's a good thing, I always hated my uncles, aunts, cousins and so on... all of them are strangers to me.

Christmas and other "special dates" are like any other day now. I prefer to stay in my bedroom though. My family is so depressing, I don't like to see their empty faces.
 
Uggh...family reunions are the worst. No human needs ancient crone-bag aunts coming up and pinching their cheeks, telling them how absolutely precious they are! >.<

But in seriousness, yeah, I try to confine my family gatherings to just my IMMEDIATE family.
 
I'm kinda half and half when it comes to family gatherings. Some holidays it'll just be my immediate family and my older brother with his wife and children. Other holidays, it'll be my immediate family and my stepmom's family. Now I like holidays with my older brother and his family because they're actually entertaining. The oldest daughter is a couple years younger than me but we're on good terms. Her boyfriend is pretty cool too (her boyfriend pretty much lives with them). I'm also on good terms with my sister in law. Now when it comes to my stepmom's family, I just want to be alone or stay away from them. I know that they honestly don't like me (I'm basically the result from an affair between my dad and my mom) and that they talk honeysuckle about me behind my back. It does bug me but I don't care about it.
 
I stopped going to the big family gatherings a long time ago. It was such a relief too. I mean, I don't even know most of these people personally, why should I feel obligated to spend time with them? Nah, my immediate family is more than enough for me.
 
lol i don't like family gatherings on my dad's side of the family, I really have trouble relating to them and they always pick at me about dieting. I feel like when I'm at a family gathering on my dads side that all my aunts sit and watch everything I eat or drink so I usually don't have anything. They are all very thin, and its like if I eat something at least one of them will come talk to me about the latest and greatest diet tricks and secrets or like the best exercise they've ever done! lol i don't want to talk about that if I'm eating holiday party food. I know they mean well but they have no idea how awkward it makes me feel. I think they are all worried because the one and only heavy relative of that side of the family (besides my dad) passed away due to complications of being really overweight. I feel like they all stare at me like I'm gonna fall over and die any second in thier minds. They say stuff to my dad too but he laughs like they are joking with him, or maybe because he feels awkward too. I like my moms family gatherings though, they don't say stuff like that, its actually like the opposite and my grandmothers like, 'if you don't eat you're gonna get too skinny' LOL how can I be both? I managed to avoid my dad's family Christmas party because I had to work late. Yippy! haha!
 
hi, this is my first post, I'm new to the forum.
I used to love all types of gatherings but that has changed over the last few years. Now I feel paranoid and uncomfortable, unless I drink.
 
I've never cared much for family gatherings. My family, like all other people, I've never been really able to connect with.
 
Yes, I hate and despise them.
Especially the Christmas one, I really would rather stay at home all day and relax instead of being dragged to my grandmas house and suffering through complete boredom and no one talking to me.
and if they do it's always "how's school?"
thats it, that's all the conversation ever is, never talk about anything else, can't even think of a different generic question, they don't know me and never will.

i'm glad no one ever talks to me, don't want stupid pointless canned conversations with people who couldn't care less about me, i'll save my breath

i don't want to be a part of it, anything, i just want to be left alone, i'm so sick of this family and all it's crap

this year we were supposed to stay at home............and it's looking like that's not going to happen now, fantastic
 
I like being around my siblings with the exception of my sister...she turned Christian over the past year and started going to church, and I guess doesn't like talking to me anymore because I'm a Pagan Dog or something, heh. No matter. Her boyfriend's a sack of honeysuckle anyway and I'd hate to have to go to jail. I can't imagine being around him for more than five minutes without putting a hammer through his skull.

My parents I like seeing now and then, but holidays and birthdays are typically not enjoyable. My stepmom ends up either:

A. Getting hyper-emotional because it's a holiday, and taking some joke or comment the wrong way and getting offended, ruining any pleasantness, or

B. Dwelling on her middle child (Aforementioned sister) not attending the family gatherings and never wanting to see her or let her grandkids see her, and having a fit over it even though any other time she claims to have dealt with it.


I don't deal well with her. And my dad tends to not say anything about it because he's an emotional sap, while my brother/sister who still live at home share my views on the matter. It's one of the big reasons I moved out.
 
Our "family gatherings" usually consist of my mother and myself.

Thanksgiving and Christmas usually revolves around the following two things:

1) Me, telling her not to cook a lot of stuff and overexert herself

2) Her not listening to me and doing it anyway (and refusing my help)

If there is anyone that has entirely too much access to the food network, it's my mom. Still, she cooks better than most healthy people and seems to enjoy it. I can't judge too harshly.
 
Haha I love moms like that...they feel that their sole job on holidays is to generate a feast to feed 100 people. :D

----Steve
 
For me, family gatherings aren't that great either. During holidays my family and relatives all gather and we go out to eat, and when I see my cousins it's like they try to be completely strangers on purpose: they don't try to talk to me, they don't say hi, they basically pretend I'm not there. So I always dread the the time after dinner when the little ones hangout with the little ones and the adults with adults, I always end up sitting the couch and watching some boring tv show for 3 hours to consume the rest of my "family time", while my cousins go hang out with their closer ones. But luckily, that mostly applies only to my female cousins around my age, I occasionally get to play with my younger cousins (more like babysitting), and talk to a few of my male cousins. I swear sometimes that my female cousins think I'm going to go up to them and slap with an incestuous act or something. So in the end, I never really get to feel that "family bonding" time during holiday gatherings.
 
Badjedidude said:
Haha I love moms like that...they feel that their sole job on holidays is to generate a feast to feed 100 people. :D

----Steve

I'm going over there later today. If anyone wants leftover ham or caserole, let me know.

I'll buy an extra roll of foil. :/
 
Lol you'd hafta send it through the mail...and it would just explode on me when I opened it. (Cakes do that, ya know. Next time you want to prank someone, send them a cake through the mail! :p)

----Steve
 
*Sigh* said:
I always end up sitting the couch and watching some boring tv show for 3 hours to consume the rest of my "family time", while my cousins go hang out with their closer ones.

Wow, this is exactly what happens to me... I feel so destroyed just sitting there like a bumb watching television while everyone is laughing it up.
 
I think it really depends on the kind of family you have. If your relatives are truly good people, then it's worth making the effort to interact with them! You can even practice your social skills the day before by meeting with friends or doing something where you'll have to interact with people. Also, if you're unsure of your conversational skills, maybe you can give them extra-thoughtful gifts, inlcuding things you made yourself, like home-made greeting cards, cookies, little stories, etc. All good people appreciate attention and thoughfulness.

The problem with my family (and many families out there) is that the family members are not good people. My aunts and uncles have ACTUALLY betrayed my parents in very serious situations... and what do you do after that? Either sever all ties with them (which my mom did with her sisters), or continue socializing like nothing happened (which my dad is doing with his brother). I'm sick of all of them - I prefer to just take care of my parents and avoid the rest of the family.

Big Christmas Hugs to everyone!!! (((HUG))) (((HUG))) (((HUG))) Merry Christmas!
 
I wouldn't say I hate family gatherings but I don't enjoy them. I love seeing my immediate family(parents, siblings, nieces & nephews) but all my aunts, uncles and cousins.....not so much. We were never close growing up. I've only seen my cousins once every year. Just recently, for some strange reason my uncles and aunts have been holding more holiday gatherings thru the year. Maybe it's with only good intentions and the fact everyone is getting older and they want to start a new tradition of seeing the WHOLE family more often but it just feels like it's imposing on my time. Not that I have a whole lot to do but the fact I feel obligated to go when I really don't want to. I end up feeling guilty for not going or wanting to go so I force myself to make an attempt to try to get to know my extended family but it's always awkward.
I never spoke to my cousins growing up, I don't know a thing about them. My cousins were all close growing up except for me. I wish I knew what to do or say in these situations. I can only make up so many excuses. I'm sure they have caught on by now and think I'm a snob that doesn't want to spend "quality" time with my family. I just don't enjoy it and no one speaks to me anyway even if I initiate some type of conversation. I end up feeling like an outsider. Not that I expect my cousins to understand, they all had each other growing up so they enjoy these gatherings. While I just bum on the sofa like all the rest of the gatherings.
 
Yes, I hate them. So stressful, depressing and lonely. But my family doesn't really care if I'm around, I just get left out, so I avoid going now.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top