Whats up with my low self esteem

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misswonderwall

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I think my low self esteem relates to my weight. If I gain 6 pounds I get depressed, but if i lose 6 pounds im alot more confident. Why???????

Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else? I get so nervous when people come and talk to me..my face goes red, i dont know! I think it has something to do with my self esteem, I feel that i am not good enough.

MAybe if i lose the six pounds again..my confidence will come back..but then i deal with other issues in my head...like thinkin people just dont like me..

Something is not healthy in the way im thinking..
plz help
 
Well i'm a guy who neither can gain nor loose weight, but even i somehow know what You're talking about.

From another post i made recently i would like to show You and edit a little:

Having low self-esteem is like a decease which need something out of the ordinary to be "cured". Having low self-esteem is like being a bit depressed even at the best of times, and getting friends when You're depressed is far from easy.

You have been around the fact that weight is important for too long; that the outside is more important than the inside. Someone or something has, perhaps indirectly, told You that You should not weigh this or that much for so long that it's deep within Your thoughts. Perhaps it's world media in general, or some people at school at some point in Your life. Things like these can come crushing down like thunder everytime You hear or see something about it once it get inside Your head.

The person that i am right now, for example, didn't even exist three years ago. I were suicidally depressed and had been that for over five years. I also saw myself as rather useless sometimes, although because of something else than what You feel. You need to do something to make You understand that the thoughts You're having about people disliking You because of how much You weigh is only there because You think so. The more a person believes something him- or herself, the more that fact will show to the rest of the world.

It shows very well how a person feel about him- or herself. People do not dislike You for how much You weigh, but rather feel sorry for You because they can see how You feel about Your weigh, rendering You shy and weak in their eyes.

Like so many people i've tried to help so far in this forum, i've told them that they need to try to change, quickly, to see that at least pretending to like Yourself as You are will affect how other people see You as well. If You are conscent about Yourself, everyone around You will notice it and not think about Your weigh. If You are happy about Yourself, people will think of You as a friendly, strong person for knowing that You just are as good to everyone else around You as You feel.

Once upon a time, i changed completely. I gave up who i were, my entire past and history and created a new, better Robin, which schocked everyone i knew, of course, but made them glad that i found a way to be happy again. The person that You are right now, is a person that can be so full of life and self-esteem that You could stand on top of a bus and shout "I look much better than Yooouuuu!". But why aren't You? Howcome You feel so powerless about all this?

Because You aren't 100% Yourself. You are partly something else which isn't supposed to be there, something bad for You. To get this negative part of You out You must try to change Your ways about it, which at first could be to simply ignore it. Everyone can do this, but since everyone also is different, it all has to be put together in different phases and speed.

I really have to go now, i always get so caught up trying to help people when i see a new thread that i forget about time! ;)

I would gladly talk to You in private to maybe get You to feel a little better. Send me a private message with Your e-mail and we could be pen-pals. Together we can do anything.
 
Yes, it is absolutely true that what you think of yourself is huge. If you have low self esteem than it is going to show to everybody. Low self esteem spreads throughout your entire body until you can't control it any longer. You need to look in the mirror and think about all the good traits you have, as well as the good qualities. Qualities you possess on the inside, and the outside. Confidence in oneself is the single most important thing in ones life. If losing weight, however, makes you feel better than make a strong effort to lose some weight. Write a list of some of your goals for the next few months, and put losing weight at the top if it means a lot to your confidence. You have the ability to make your life better. Change the way you view yourself, and others will begin to look at you differently. Good luck!
 
I think this is more common than you think. In our shitty society today, our worth seems to be defined by such earth shattering criteria as our career success, personal wealth, home ownership, the area we live in, looks and weight, the type of car we drive, the latest bling bling phone etc etc.

Advertising and social conditioning is very strong, and particularly if you are suffering low self esteem, one of two things happens. You don't give a honeysuckle and let yourself go, or you go nuts about things like your personal presentation and weight.

I know. I've been there on both sides, and yes when I lost a heap of weight, I too felt better.

It's a reflection of your insecurities and self esteem. When you don't have that really deep inner peace and self goodness about yourself, you attain the superficial goodness to compensate, and so your esteem goes up and down with your weight as it goes down and up respectively.

Don't be overly concerned. Just like me, you need to gather real inner esteem and feel really good about yourself from the inside, that's what this is telling you.

I'm like some sort of preacher. Yeah, I can see it in myself, see it in others and give advice to others. But I'll be stuffed if I can get some inner goodness myself. I openly admit that. But at least I can recognise it within myself to see it in you and help you.
 

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