V
vida
Guest
without any apparent success
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
M
mirrors
Guest
Hi, thanks for your post, I found it very thought provoking. What if I had done it three years ago.. ? I would of missed out on a hell of alot of crap for one thing, but I spose I have that little bit of hope that life will get better, though as getting older I am getting more cynical about it. When Im down and think about ending it.. , I go though the dream motion and get to my funeral, but then I see my parents, and what they would be like. Thats enough to usually snap me out of that one.
B
brown
Guest
i want to be optimistic like you guys, but it just always seems like things go wrong for me. i realize that i should be spreading happiness around the world, and that i have to be happy to do that. but when things go wrong, i get so down on myself and thats when i want die...
M
mirrors
Guest
Hi ya Brown,
I don't know anything about you, but hope something in this helps....
My mother use to say, "if anything was going to go wrong its going to happen to us." I can still hear her say that in my mind... and it was something that I thought for many years. It was a self fulfilling prophecy. Things would go wrong, and it was because it was us, it was bound to happen. When things went right it was like a freak of good fortune that we didn't actually deserve it. I ended up being more comfortable with things not working out and being down than I did them going right.
A chat with my boss one day started the change to my thinking on stuff going wrong. A highly successful businessman who appeared to have it all together and had mentored me in my job, so I asked him 'what did he think and do when things go wrong, because everything always goes wrong for me?' .. and he replied .. (excuse the swearwords but this is what he said) "honeysuckle happens, and it happens to all of us, every life always has honeysuckle in it and no one can escape it, and don't kid yourself that some appear not to have it because they do. They will have a health scare, suffer loss, failure of some sort, a trauma at sometime, .. think about it, even the happiest will experience loss and grief when a love one dies, no one is immune. So, don't think your special about your honeysuckle, because we all have it. I just think ,.. yep this is honeysuckle, difficult and horrible, try and sort it out the best I can and get on with it the best I can. The more time you spend thinking about how bad it is, you delay finding ways of sorting it out, just be honest to yourself and believe in yourself"
Hahaha, I can still remember that conversation with him, especially that I wasnt "special" about having honeysuckle in my life, I mean, wasn't I the only one who had all this stuff going wrong? I felt like I was the only one. Also, no one had ever in my life told me to believe in myself. It started me down a path of where did all my negative messages come from.
You know Brown, .. if your really feel down on yourself alot, see a doctor, sometimes its just to hard to see through the fog sometimes, .. otherwise, it helps to really have a look at where somethings come from about failure and stuff going wrong. I know now my mothers words had such an influence until I decided to change my thinking on it and changed how I looked at things going wrong, (warning - it did take a while to change).
on a final note, .. I so wish that I could tell you that things won't go wrong for you, .. but I cant, because there will be times when things do go wrong and unfortunately in everyones life, things go wrong. You can make it easier for yourself if you find ways of looking at it different and start a journey of finding ways of thinking different when honeysuckle happens. .. another thing .. self medicating on weed only makes it worse.
Hope this helps you in someway, and if you get down and want to die, send me a message, I would love to hear from you.
I don't know anything about you, but hope something in this helps....
My mother use to say, "if anything was going to go wrong its going to happen to us." I can still hear her say that in my mind... and it was something that I thought for many years. It was a self fulfilling prophecy. Things would go wrong, and it was because it was us, it was bound to happen. When things went right it was like a freak of good fortune that we didn't actually deserve it. I ended up being more comfortable with things not working out and being down than I did them going right.
A chat with my boss one day started the change to my thinking on stuff going wrong. A highly successful businessman who appeared to have it all together and had mentored me in my job, so I asked him 'what did he think and do when things go wrong, because everything always goes wrong for me?' .. and he replied .. (excuse the swearwords but this is what he said) "honeysuckle happens, and it happens to all of us, every life always has honeysuckle in it and no one can escape it, and don't kid yourself that some appear not to have it because they do. They will have a health scare, suffer loss, failure of some sort, a trauma at sometime, .. think about it, even the happiest will experience loss and grief when a love one dies, no one is immune. So, don't think your special about your honeysuckle, because we all have it. I just think ,.. yep this is honeysuckle, difficult and horrible, try and sort it out the best I can and get on with it the best I can. The more time you spend thinking about how bad it is, you delay finding ways of sorting it out, just be honest to yourself and believe in yourself"
Hahaha, I can still remember that conversation with him, especially that I wasnt "special" about having honeysuckle in my life, I mean, wasn't I the only one who had all this stuff going wrong? I felt like I was the only one. Also, no one had ever in my life told me to believe in myself. It started me down a path of where did all my negative messages come from.
You know Brown, .. if your really feel down on yourself alot, see a doctor, sometimes its just to hard to see through the fog sometimes, .. otherwise, it helps to really have a look at where somethings come from about failure and stuff going wrong. I know now my mothers words had such an influence until I decided to change my thinking on it and changed how I looked at things going wrong, (warning - it did take a while to change).
on a final note, .. I so wish that I could tell you that things won't go wrong for you, .. but I cant, because there will be times when things do go wrong and unfortunately in everyones life, things go wrong. You can make it easier for yourself if you find ways of looking at it different and start a journey of finding ways of thinking different when honeysuckle happens. .. another thing .. self medicating on weed only makes it worse.
Hope this helps you in someway, and if you get down and want to die, send me a message, I would love to hear from you.
L
lonelygirl
Guest
I'm so sorry. I hope I don't end up like Suzanne. Life sucks the big one BUT: There are some good things in life. There are some good beautiful things in this world and in this life.
THERE ARE. I am certain of that. That's why suicide is Never the answer. It just leaves the world in more pain. It's better to keep moving through the pain. Sometimes moving through the pain is the only thing that can help us survive it.
THERE ARE. I am certain of that. That's why suicide is Never the answer. It just leaves the world in more pain. It's better to keep moving through the pain. Sometimes moving through the pain is the only thing that can help us survive it.
