lol I feel like a fool

ok, so I went to my first bar tonight. lol I'm 23 years old and have never had any desire to be a part of the whole "bar scene" it just never appealed to me at all. I'm not a fan of being surrounded by drunkeness. So why the heck did I go? lol. well, this friend I've known for the last ten years is into this sort of thing and with bands/music playing but shes more of a music lover then a bar lover it just happens that they play at bars alot. Shes been trying to get me to go to one of these local band music things with her for a few years and I always turned it down. Well I'm at a point in my life that I'm kinda lonely so I figured why not give it a shot and see what shes a big fan of. I was really bored lol. I was stuck in a corner and like there was nowhere to go, it was reeeeeeeeaaaally awkward and just I felt so uncomfortable being there. It just felt like everyone there was so fake, I didn't want to talk to anyone, look anyone in the face, I didn't want to be there, I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to turn around and go home the second I got there. I endured about an hour and a half and just couldn't take it anymore hahahahaha I wanted to make myself throw up just so I can leave LOL but I can't do that, I just told her I was tired and wanted to go home, I didn't feel as bad because she had another friend with her who is just as crazy about the music as she is. It just didn't appeal to me at all. Now that I've been to my first bar, I know for sure now that I'm not a bar person lol, wont be doing that again! lol I couldn't even wait until the new year, it would have taken too long, another hour. I felt a little scared walking out to my car as there was alotta big guys outside smoking and they all stared at me, lol I clutched my purse tight, if any of them took a step I was running LOL I just don't fit in in a place like that lol oh well! Happy New Year!

yay. youre back. happy new year!

Its all in your head...

You went there with a negative attitude about the place, you had your mind set already. You should have just went to enjoy the company of your friend. I strongly suggest you go again and get really drunk. it'l open you up and you will find you are actually having fun. The problem is you are on a different wave length to everyone else.

Also, dont end every sentence with "lol". If you do actually laugh after everything you say, you would be a very annoying person.

i feel the same st parties..it odd. it feels like ..what is the point of this? all im doing is staring at people! i want to go home.
i think you dont need to be a bar person to be happy.

Its all in your head...

You went there with a negative attitude about the place, you had your mind set already.

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those are called morals and precautions.

You should have just went to enjoy the company of your friend. I strongly suggest you go again and get really drunk. it'l open you up and you will find you are actually having fun.

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forever be happy and accept everything. even if youre in the rain, enjoy it. otherwise its your fault because you have a negative attitude.

The problem is you are on a different wave length to everyone else.

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darn intelligence...

Well you gave it a try. It didn't turn out to be any more enjoyable then you imagined that it would be but you gave it a shot. No reason to feel like a fool.

Well, I think it depends on the bar! Personally, I find biker bars to be fairly cool places to chill. They're always portrayed in movies and on TV as havens for tattoo-covered skanks and huge, fat biker gang dudes with mangy beards...but they really aren't like that at all. You'll meet a lot of nice dudes just touring around on their bikes, taking a break from the road for a moment while sipping a cold one. (There are a few hell-holes, though...but you'll recognize those ones the instant you step inside...and then run away! )

Euro-style pubs are also nice places to go. The people ya find there are just normal moms 'n' pops and people taking it easy with some cool draft, reading the paper, chatting with each other, etc.

The WORST kind of place that I could imagine myself going to is a club or an up & up fashion, hip-scene-style bar...I just DO NOT DANCE, and most girls expect dancing skills in a guy at a club. Also, I would probably have an anurism trying to deal with all the emo kids you'd find in there (Sorry, emos & goths! I guess I'm just too old-fashioned to accept you! No offense! ).

RANT: I'm tired of seeing skinny little guys wearing ass-tight jeans and black-and-gray striped shirts with their hair dyed black and hanging over their eyes. Whatever happened to manly men?...who actually look and act masculine? These kids won't even fight if insulted anymore! They just retort with a "witty" come-back along the lines of, "you just don't understand me," or something like that, instead of punching the offender's lights out. And to make it worse, all the hot girls WANT these guys! *sigh* Like I said, I'm just too old-fashioned. Sorry if I offended anyone. *shrug* RANTOVER.

So to sum up, RebeccaSarah33, I think you just went to the wrong bar. Shop around a little! If you can find one where most of the people there aren't drinking to get drunk or score a one-night stand, then you've found the right place! ^_^

----Steve

Porman said:

Its all in your head...

strongly suggest you go again and get really drunk. it'l open you up and you will find you are actually having fun.

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I strongly disagree with this suggestion. There is nothing wrong with not liking bars or not wanting to be around drunks.

I know a few people whos answer to every problem is to "get very drunk and have fun".....yeah, doesnt usually turn out very well.

Porman said:

Its all in your head...

You went there with a negative attitude about the place, you had your mind set already. You should have just went to enjoy the company of your friend. I strongly suggest you go again and get really drunk. it'l open you up and you will find you are actually having fun. The problem is you are on a different wave length to everyone else.

Also, dont end every sentence with "lol". If you do actually laugh after everything you say, you would be a very annoying person.

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Hey Becky, remember me? Teeheehee. Don't listen to people like I've just quoted, that's just a silly attitude to have. It isn't all in your head and I think it's great that you aren't like most people who crave going to bars and clubs all the time. SOME people do it because they think it's cool to get drunk all the time - But it isn't, and most people realise that when they get older. There's nothing wrong with hanging out at a bar or club, don't get me wrong, but going there just to get drunk, and having the attitude that you "need to" in order to fit in, is just crazy. As someone else rightly said, you have morals and I think it's great that someone your age has such high morals.

So, Porman - She's on a different wavelength to everyone else? YES, THANK GOODNESS! How idiotic to suggest that she gets drunk, to make her on their "wavelength". Encouraging someone to get drunk like that really pees me off, it's incredibly irresponsible and childish. You should be looking up to people like Becky who have decent morals and a better outlook on life other than "Let's get drunk every night cos it's cool and makes me look good". Also....I love your last line about her being a very annoying person! LOL. Yea, of course....After what you wrote?

So, Becky, take this person's advice and:
1) Lower your morals.
2) Get stupidly drunk.
3) Don't laugh. LOL.
4) Don't have a negative attitude about people who are negative through drinking so much that they can't stand up.
5) Open your mind.

Ok I'm done. Teeheehee.

You're in good company. I'm almost 22 and went to my first bar/club several weeks back... met two guys there that I didn't even know but I wanted to break out of my shell and meet some women. The guys were cool enough but the place was really dark and the dance floor was the size of a living room... I was picturing a gymnasium-sized one with people spread out where I could just move around and practice initiating conversation. This place was really clique-y with just multiple groups standing around really close together. I don't have the balls to approach a mixed group of 10-12 people. I basically had a couple drinks and found an excuse to leave... feeling totally destroyed in the process.

It's hard to not find joy in something tons of people our age hype up and participate in regularly. I'm more the kind of guy that'd just like a group of friends to do random things with... road trips, movies, just little adventures. But then I think... would I enjoy partying and going to bars/clubs if I was confident with myself, had a lot of friends, etc... or is it just my natural preference and I feel a need to conform to the majority? It's difficult to tell the difference between a natural preference or a preference forced on you through personal or environmental factors. Perhaps they are one in the same? I'm going off on a tangent now so I'll just end it here, lmao.