best friend...worst enemy?

So I have a best friend that calls me every single day and we hang out alot. However, we are both single and all of the girls in our [really his] circle of friends is magnetically attracted to him and he basically steals the show whenever we hang out. If a new girl enters the scene he basically has her wanting him already before I can even eke out a 'My name is ...'. I looked at my myspace the other day and 88% of my 'friends' I know solely through him and this makes me mad. I am naturally very shy and soft spoken and have to be around people I am very comfortable with in order to be effectively social and allow my sense of humor to come out. I've spent the better part of the last two years being single and I know I'm going down into that ravine of loneliness/depression again.

So I'm trying to find a new way to be social (and meet women) without him but it's extremely difficult. I have another group of not-so-close friends that I can be around without my best friend but it's difficult for me to feel included because they all smoke pot alot and I don't. My last girlfriend I met through college but things didn't work out and she won't talk to me ever again. Meeting girls at school was my only hope but I'm not going back until September.

I just got home from the bar...played some poker and tried to start some convos with strangers but I found it very difficult to keep any converstion going. I'm just not a man of many words.

Any suggestions will be appreciated.

I've spent the better part of the last two years being single and I know I'm going down into that ravine of loneliness/depression again


I Have been single a little over 2 years too, I find myself going back and forth between being depressed and being angry with a don't give a fresia attitude, it's so hard, I feel I will be alone forever, it hurts, I am sorry your enduring this too, I do understand how you feel if that helps at all.

You'll have to excuse my humor, but I couldn't help but think of this commercial after reading your tale: .

Snow, if you were able to get a girl in college, even if things didn't work out, then you're ahead of me . I just got my bachelors and nooooone for me. By the way, you're entering summer the best way a energetic young college guy can enter, free and ready to go on a spree! Beaches, bookstores, open country, whatever your local environment gives you. Good luck!

you know.. there's a saying " God save me from my "friends", because i can take care of my enemies by myself "

ask yourself..is he a real friend before making some serious decisions !
that's kind of my advise

Hmm this reminds me of a GREAT Morrissey song,

We Hate it When Our Friends Become Successful.

(And if they're Northern, that makes it even worse!)

lonelygirl said:

Hmm this reminds me of a GREAT Morrissey song,

We Hate it When Our Friends Become Successful.

(And if they're Northern, that makes it even worse!)

Click to expand...

well, i don't think we must HATE them when they are succ,
I wanted to say that many people try to be our so called "friends" just for "using" us.
When we must decide whether a person is a friend or not we must think seriously ab. that because a friend is a person who knows and understands you, you tell everything to your friends asking advices etc. that's why I think to be more carefully when choosing friends.

thanks for all the replies!

unkn0wn said:

well, i don't think we must HATE them when they are succ,
I wanted to say that many people try to be our so called "friends" just for "using" us.
When we must decide whether a person is a friend or not we must think seriously ab. that because a friend is a person who knows and understands you, you tell everything to your friends asking advices etc. that's why I think to be more carefully when choosing friends.

Click to expand...

Though I've realized that for a fact my best friend uses me from time to time, I can't say he's selfish. He is still there for me in good times and bad and I'm very glad to have him as a friend.
Knowing and understanding each other and asking for/giving thoughtful advice are very powerful. After reading many of the posts on here I am learning the value and importance of friendship.

That beer commercial cracked me up! Thanks frizbit =D

As for finding a girl, I'll just have to wait.

Everyone can be a bit jealous when our friends become successful! That's Moz's point--just that if your friend gets everything and you get nothing, it's easy to get jealous!

All friends use each other from time to time--we have to lean on other people when we just can't keep fighting on our own.

But, that is part of friendship--give and take. If they just take, they are being selfish and maybe not the best friend to keep.