?uest Love
Member
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2010
- Messages
- 22
- Reaction score
- 0
Currently around 20 and still searching for that one special person who can improve my quality of life and drive me to be the best i can be.
I don't really expect many of you to read what I am going to rant about it in the next few paragraphs, but I feel like it is something that I need to get off my chest before it eats me from the inside. I hope that people can relate to my experiences so that we can figure a way to deal with our loneliness and need for love.
Well its some cheesy stuff but here i go....
ever since i got my first crush in elementary. I have been looking for love, but the search has been anything but easy or simple. Shortly after graduating from elementary I went to an all boys school, making finding that soul mate harder than it really was, especially after losing touch with all my elementary school friends. I felt like a missed a part of life that many people would cherish in the future, like missing prom because I had no date or meeting that high school sweetheart that I will end up marrying.
During my high school career i did find someone special, but it was difficult to express my love for her because if she didnt feel the same way and I lost her, there would be no one as special as her in my life. during the duration we were friends, I couldn't be happier and the days where i would have an opportunity to see her would go by so fast. Moments with her were probably the happiest and most memorable in my life. But in the end, what i feared the most happened and I lost the only girl in my life that mattered to me. I guess my fear to tell her my true feelings drove her away and she eventually stopped talking to me without giving a word of warning. It had plagued me for many years and I had tried anything to replace a person like her. I tried forcing it by going into relationships where I didnt love the other and it only ended up hurting the both of us. Now everything I do is motivated by finding that special person and love.
After moving onto university, I felt like it was a fresh start. I did find someone special and it was another one of the happiest moments of my life. The world around me seemed like a better place, I was able to wake up with a smile on my face instead of pressing the snooze button trying to avoid the realities of life. Time seemed to fly by when I spent time with her and time leading up to see her would go by much faster. Most importantly I wanted to be the best i could be. Little did i know that she only saw it as a fling and that I saw more. Gathering all the strength and courage I had, I finally did not fear getting rejected for the first time because she felt like the right one. So I told her how I felt and she responding with an "i like you, but idk how much". The next few months our fling started to turn to dust and everything that we had only ended up being memories in my mind.
The following months led to depression because I found it so hard to find someone special. Only two people stood out in my mind as ppl that i loved and cared about and I lost them. Now I have gotten better, but I do experience days where random things just trigger thoughts about love and relationships and it leads to sadness, ruining my mood for whatever I am doing.
These days I feel like I found someone special, but she already has someone in her life. Which leads me to wonder what the blessed men who have a significant other in their life have that I don't. I wonder what will make myself stand out of a sea of men who are looking for that special girl.
I feel like i'm in a dilemma. I feel disadvantage. I am not physically superior, but I am just an average sized man. I don't have great relationship experience. Might as well say practically none because I haven't been in a relationship where i love the person or have the person love me the way I love them. I think i still fear rejection. I struggle on asking ppl out on a date....so if someone can help me out here lol. I just feel lost in general and fear not having anyone in my life in the future or even marrying the wrong person because I haven't experienced enough relationships to know what girl i really want in my life. Until i meet the right person, I feel that I will never be satisfied or as happy as I ever was before.
If you read anywhere past the second paragraph i thank you for taking your time to read my problems. I hope that I can get some advice for my problems and to help others with their problems.
I don't really expect many of you to read what I am going to rant about it in the next few paragraphs, but I feel like it is something that I need to get off my chest before it eats me from the inside. I hope that people can relate to my experiences so that we can figure a way to deal with our loneliness and need for love.
Well its some cheesy stuff but here i go....
ever since i got my first crush in elementary. I have been looking for love, but the search has been anything but easy or simple. Shortly after graduating from elementary I went to an all boys school, making finding that soul mate harder than it really was, especially after losing touch with all my elementary school friends. I felt like a missed a part of life that many people would cherish in the future, like missing prom because I had no date or meeting that high school sweetheart that I will end up marrying.
During my high school career i did find someone special, but it was difficult to express my love for her because if she didnt feel the same way and I lost her, there would be no one as special as her in my life. during the duration we were friends, I couldn't be happier and the days where i would have an opportunity to see her would go by so fast. Moments with her were probably the happiest and most memorable in my life. But in the end, what i feared the most happened and I lost the only girl in my life that mattered to me. I guess my fear to tell her my true feelings drove her away and she eventually stopped talking to me without giving a word of warning. It had plagued me for many years and I had tried anything to replace a person like her. I tried forcing it by going into relationships where I didnt love the other and it only ended up hurting the both of us. Now everything I do is motivated by finding that special person and love.
After moving onto university, I felt like it was a fresh start. I did find someone special and it was another one of the happiest moments of my life. The world around me seemed like a better place, I was able to wake up with a smile on my face instead of pressing the snooze button trying to avoid the realities of life. Time seemed to fly by when I spent time with her and time leading up to see her would go by much faster. Most importantly I wanted to be the best i could be. Little did i know that she only saw it as a fling and that I saw more. Gathering all the strength and courage I had, I finally did not fear getting rejected for the first time because she felt like the right one. So I told her how I felt and she responding with an "i like you, but idk how much". The next few months our fling started to turn to dust and everything that we had only ended up being memories in my mind.
The following months led to depression because I found it so hard to find someone special. Only two people stood out in my mind as ppl that i loved and cared about and I lost them. Now I have gotten better, but I do experience days where random things just trigger thoughts about love and relationships and it leads to sadness, ruining my mood for whatever I am doing.
These days I feel like I found someone special, but she already has someone in her life. Which leads me to wonder what the blessed men who have a significant other in their life have that I don't. I wonder what will make myself stand out of a sea of men who are looking for that special girl.
I feel like i'm in a dilemma. I feel disadvantage. I am not physically superior, but I am just an average sized man. I don't have great relationship experience. Might as well say practically none because I haven't been in a relationship where i love the person or have the person love me the way I love them. I think i still fear rejection. I struggle on asking ppl out on a date....so if someone can help me out here lol. I just feel lost in general and fear not having anyone in my life in the future or even marrying the wrong person because I haven't experienced enough relationships to know what girl i really want in my life. Until i meet the right person, I feel that I will never be satisfied or as happy as I ever was before.
If you read anywhere past the second paragraph i thank you for taking your time to read my problems. I hope that I can get some advice for my problems and to help others with their problems.