Hi all, first post here. A very nice website I hope I can contribute too in some form or another. And, hopefully this is the right board for this topic.
I was was wondering about school. I'm 21 and have been out of school since 16. It's not something I'm proud of but at the time I was thought to have schizophrenia, which turned out to be false. I've got a diploma now, but only high school. Now it's the point in life where I need to enter school before it's too late. I was thinking of video journalism and English. However...that's not my dilemma.
My issue is the fact that I've been isolated for so long. It may sound crazy but I have not had any real friends since high school. I spend most of my time by myself and I'm perfectly fine with that. Much of my interests are fit for an introvert and I have no issues with solitude. However, the prospect of school is outright terrifying to me at this point. After being alone for so long, I've all but lost the ability to socialize. It's not just that I'm shy or have anxiety, but I've essentially lost traits like casual small talk. At work I never really speak to anybody. I'll either avoid direct conversation and my replies are almost machine like - cold, automatic, thoughtless. When I'm speaking, I end up talking in a stream-of-consciousness style, sadly a result of so many years of my thoughts and opinions merely being typed out and posted online. As a result, people get turned off talking to me and can't really make sense of it. There are a few people I can speak to, but only family members I've known for years.
So, my dilemma begins in preparing myself for school. I have to do it, no questions about it. I'm actually intrigued by the idea of sharing my thoughts, ideas and opinions with others in an effort to get "things" done. But what troubles me is the social interaction. If this was still high school I could easily avoid people, but in university you've got to work with them.
What I'm trying to figure out is what can I do? How can I better develop my social skills, so I can have a legit conversation with people? If I'm to do video journalism, I'm going to have to work with people. But a simple thing like this I can't seem to figure out. Small talk is as foreign to me as particle physics. Conversation is as equally as troublesome. Online I may sound like I have my thoughts in order (maybe not), but that's only because I can spend time editing what I want to say. In the real world, I just can't speak to people.
Does anybody have any advice? Be it on developing social abilities, or even just what going to college is like? Am I right to be overly anxious or is it not as bad as it seems? Pardon me if this sounds like a long rant, it makes sense in my head. :shy:
I was was wondering about school. I'm 21 and have been out of school since 16. It's not something I'm proud of but at the time I was thought to have schizophrenia, which turned out to be false. I've got a diploma now, but only high school. Now it's the point in life where I need to enter school before it's too late. I was thinking of video journalism and English. However...that's not my dilemma.
My issue is the fact that I've been isolated for so long. It may sound crazy but I have not had any real friends since high school. I spend most of my time by myself and I'm perfectly fine with that. Much of my interests are fit for an introvert and I have no issues with solitude. However, the prospect of school is outright terrifying to me at this point. After being alone for so long, I've all but lost the ability to socialize. It's not just that I'm shy or have anxiety, but I've essentially lost traits like casual small talk. At work I never really speak to anybody. I'll either avoid direct conversation and my replies are almost machine like - cold, automatic, thoughtless. When I'm speaking, I end up talking in a stream-of-consciousness style, sadly a result of so many years of my thoughts and opinions merely being typed out and posted online. As a result, people get turned off talking to me and can't really make sense of it. There are a few people I can speak to, but only family members I've known for years.
So, my dilemma begins in preparing myself for school. I have to do it, no questions about it. I'm actually intrigued by the idea of sharing my thoughts, ideas and opinions with others in an effort to get "things" done. But what troubles me is the social interaction. If this was still high school I could easily avoid people, but in university you've got to work with them.
What I'm trying to figure out is what can I do? How can I better develop my social skills, so I can have a legit conversation with people? If I'm to do video journalism, I'm going to have to work with people. But a simple thing like this I can't seem to figure out. Small talk is as foreign to me as particle physics. Conversation is as equally as troublesome. Online I may sound like I have my thoughts in order (maybe not), but that's only because I can spend time editing what I want to say. In the real world, I just can't speak to people.
Does anybody have any advice? Be it on developing social abilities, or even just what going to college is like? Am I right to be overly anxious or is it not as bad as it seems? Pardon me if this sounds like a long rant, it makes sense in my head. :shy: