Do people pick up on the fact you're sad/lonely or not?

I suppose the root of this is how well you can hide your true emotions.

Wherever I go, I must look miserable because so many people seem to comment on it.

In the last job I had, I was told my my 'superior' that I had a constant scowl on my face and that I was "scaring the customers away". (I think he was joking about the latter part). Then the other day I was waiting for some take-away food and the guy serving me said "Cheer up, it might never happen", to which I replied "Do I look miserable"? He said in quite an assured way, "Yeah just a bit".

My parents are also always telling me to smile, but I often simply can't be bothered. The way I see it, if a smile doesn't come naturally then what's the point in faking it?? Obviously if you're a person in a very public/people orientated position then you have to, but I'm not.

Anyway, that was a long-winded way of asking you how your facial expressions are perceived by the people around you.

I think you can definitely tell when people are faking a smile/happy or even a sad face. Or at least with most people anyhow. There must be some really good fakers out there though too, probably.

My mood changes so rapidly that it is very hard to hide how I'm feeling. I'm usually quite...scatty...excitable...enthusiastic...in general with most things. I got told at work that I was 'too enthusiastic' and 'too giddy' how embarassing is that?!

But then again I have my downs too, were I'll just be quiet, though I'm very easily amused so it won't take long before I bounce back to sillyness.

So generally people are forced to suffer my rollercoaster of moods with me, because I'm not one for hiding who/how I am. I'm not alive to make everyone feel comfortable, I'm here to just be here as I am. And I guess up-then-down is who I am.

kelbo said:

My mood changes so rapidly that it is very hard to hide how I'm feeling. I'm usually quite...scatty...excitable...enthusiastic...in general with most things. I got told at work that I was 'too enthusiastic' and 'too giddy' how embarassing is that?!

But then again I have my downs too, were I'll just be quiet, though I'm very easily amused so it won't take long before I bounce back to sillyness.

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I'm kinda the same, but opposite; I'm more often (and more easily) depressed than I am hyper or excitable. Nobody really seems to notice no matter what mood I'm in, though. And if they do they certainly don't say anything.

kelbo said:

So generally people are forced to suffer my rollercoaster of moods with me, because I'm not one for hiding who/how I am. I'm not alive to make everyone feel comfortable, I'm here to just be here as I am. And I guess up-then-down is who I am.

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I like your attitude.

No. I'm pretty good at fooling people... I just never want people to feel sorry for me or really know about my issues...

As far as most are concerned I'm happy, outgoing, etc. etc. Sadly, I'm the complete opposite.

Not really. I usually project an outwardly positive attitude, so I've never had anyone tell me I looked stormy or anything...except for one time when I had strep throat. I could barely swallow, so I wasn't in a good mood anyway...and I guess I let it show because I got several comments about it.....and that just made me want to punch someone in the brain even more.

----Steve

actually, people tell me that my eyes look sad... even when I am feeling in a good mood. I do think people do sense sadness in people, maybe not loneliness, but one never knows.

I'm very good at hiding my emotions, the only people who will ever know are those that I choose to know about it. I can go about life as usual, no matter how mundane it may seem and no matter how I might be feeling, I can keep a smile on my face to throw people off scent. It's not that I dont want them to know as such, I just personally dont want and cant deal with anyone ever feeling sorry for me.

They probably can tell but no one knows me well enough to feel comfortable commenting on it. That's my theory.

CAS said:

I suppose the root of this is how well you can hide your true emotions.

Anyway, that was a long-winded way of asking you how your facial expressions are perceived by the people around you.

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I have several decades' worth of active hiding my emotions under my belt, so my masks are pretty damned thick. I don't think that a single person in my RL arena really knows how bad some of my depressive episodes have been this past decade. Even during the worst of it, a few people told me that I was "holding up surprisingly well."

Now it feels like it's my freaking job to be a trooper. If I lost it and really flipped out and let people know just how bad things are they'd be shocked.

Of course, few people have ever seen me full in the throes of a bad manic episode either.

I used to think people would assume I'm lonely or such. Then I realized - after living a year in India as a child and realizing how friendly people are elsewhere in the world - that in the the West no matter how happy they may be, people are deep down very miserable, cold lonely people. Most don't take note of others emotions. None of them notice because it's a life we're so accustomed too. In India people always had a smile on their face. Your issues are everybody else's. Over here, nobody is consciously aware they're "alive", they just go about their daily rituals of waking up, going to work, coming home and indulging in enough recreation to distract their minds from the reality and, ultimately, going insane like the best of us do.

But..on a more personal level, I don't think people notice. People keep to themselves too much. I've always thought that since I'm as white and pale as a cloud people would think I'm a recluse but that is far from truth. No sun, he must be a hermit. However, if anything were to give it away, it would probably be the fact that I don't speak to people in the first place. I don't hide emotions, as I feel after a while it would feel like a chore; tricking the world into believing you're somebody you're not. To me it's easier to just shrug off most contact. Probably not the best solution, but I'm still broke.

coffee said:

I used to think people would assume I'm lonely or such. Then I realized - after living a year in India as a child and realizing how friendly people are elsewhere in the world - that in the the West no matter how happy they may be, people are deep down very miserable, cold lonely people. Most don't take note of others emotions. None of them notice because it's a life we're so accustomed too. In India people always had a smile on their face. Your issues are everybody else's. Over here, nobody is consciously aware they're "alive", they just go about their daily rituals of waking up, going to work, coming home and indulging in enough recreation to distract their minds from the reality and, ultimately, going insane like the best of us do.

But..on a more personal level, I don't think people notice. People keep to themselves too much. I've always thought that since I'm as white and pale as a cloud people would think I'm a recluse but that is far from truth. No sun, he must be a hermit. However, if anything were to give it away, it would probably be the fact that I don't speak to people in the first place. I don't hide emotions, as I feel after a while it would feel like a chore; tricking the world into believing you're somebody you're not. To me it's easier to just shrug off most contact. Probably not the best solution, but I'm still broke.

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[youtube]pjMLQC1hxcQ[/youtube]

Lyrics:

Take a look around
Don't you see it
See that you are the only real face in the room
No one here has a clue what your feelin'
Don't feel bad
Keep your sadness alive

Look at all these happy people
Living their lives
Look at all these plastic people
There's nothing inside
Look at all these shallow people
Telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

Don’t you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
That misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me
Whoa, misery's my company
Whoa, misery is looking for me
Looking for me

The hands are up now
Everybody singing
Everybody’s movin’
They've programe their feelings
their synchronizin'
And criticizin'
Don't feel bad
Keep your sadness alive

Look at all these happy people
Living their lives
Look at all these plastic people
They're dying inside
Look at all these shallow people
Telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

Don't you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
That misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me
Whoa, misery's my company
Whoa, misery is looking for me

Don't you know this misery loves me
Don't you know this misery loves me
Don't you know this misery loves me
Don't you know this misery loves me
Loves me

So you're tired of runnin'
You're tired of hurting
You're tired of living in their lie
You're tired of listening
You're tired of hurting
Keep your sadness alive, alive, alive

Don't you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
That misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me
Don't you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
Misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me

Whoa, misery's my company
Whoa, misery is looking for me

I think people notice and can tell, they usually just don't aknowledge it at all. I know I notice and never aknowledge someones bad mood unless I know them and feel comfortable doing so. Usually I'm pretty happy/content at work but today I didn't feel well at all, everyone I worked with noticed. I got asked 6 times if I was ok, I guess I wear my feelings on my sleeve unknowingly. I guess other people may be able to hide it better. I just notice moods of people I know. I don't see the point in 'fake smiling' either... might look creepy. lol I know that when I'm relaxed and not thinking of stuff/watching tv I get a sour face and people ask me if I'm mad lol and I'm not its just that when my face is relaxed my mouth is naturally frown shaped

despite the amount of friends and family i keep in contact with, i have a sense of loneliness.
and nobody outside of this site sees it. i find it unnecessary to make others worry, spreading my inconvenience to others is something i don't want to do, and since it is my problem, i'm going to somehow find a way to fix it myself...

The guy at the gas station says to me the otherday on my way out... "Are you depressed? You look depressed, either that or really mad about something" lol... So i guess my general appearance shows it i dunno...

My mum knows when I feel like honeysuckle or something is wrong, its pretty easy to tell.

As for friends, I do see them sometimes when I am not in a good mood, and they tend not to talk about it much, usually if they can relate to it in some way.

I know how for alot of people it is hard to discuss feelings. Hence why we dont get into a big discussion over it.
Emotions are very important, they need to be expressed and be able to be recognised and talked about with other people, instead of trying to avoid it.

I believe to have a good relationship, it is one of the most important things. If you don't have it, it ain't going to work very well!

I think they do. Whether they call you out on it or not is another story.

I thought I was good at hiding my feelings, as I rarely show any emotion, but it appears my classmates have started noticing my depression (apparently my body language's been giving me away).

All of this time, I thought people wouldn't notice because I'm always quiet. But now it's like whenever I go to class I get asked "Are you all right?" by the girl I have a crush on, in which I always answer with an automatic, apathetic "Yeah...". "You sure?" "Yeah..."

I get this feeling sometimes... like my classmates (and my crush) are slowly distancing themselves from me because I'm always down...

It's not necessarily a good feeling...

Nope, not really. Most people don't seem to notice or care, which makes the loneliness even worse.