Hey,
I was in a similar situation this last week (though it wasn't as fun as a triathlon sounds!), and over the course of the three days it lasted I had a lot of anxiety that stemmed from several sources.
I decided to take a class to be certified as a Fire Code inspector here in Idaho (which is not as fancy or special as it may sound; there's lots of us out there). The class lasts 2 1/2 days and at the end of it all was a test which I was told would find us working in groups. This caused a lot of anxiety for me because I did not know -any- of these people, and a lot of them seemed to know each other because almost all of them were either in the class with people from the same fire dept. as themselves, or they were neighboring departments; three of which are incredibly clique-like; but that's another matter altogether. What is important to note is that I was the only person there from my County. I was alone.
During breaks I would try to make small talk with a couple of the guys who sat near me, or ask the instructor questions, or pretend to leaf through bits of the code book. Then I would linger in the restroom or find reasons to be on my phone or out at my car. The first full day, a lot of us went to the same place for lunch by coincidence. Most of the group there was from the clique of departments I mentioned. My lunch ended up getting put in the same bag as one of these guys. I tried to use the opportunity to chat with him and maybe get on friendly terms, but to no avail. The guy was pretty stuck-up because of the patch on his shoulder. (The title of 'Paramedic' tends to not help matters in that regard, but again, that's another discussion
)
Things weren't looking good. By the third day with the group test looming, I was having flashbacks of gym class, where I was either last to be picked for a team and had to just tag along with a group who otherwise was friendly with eachother, or had to be assigned by the teacher. But opportunity finally presented itself.
When we took lunch this day, I ended up going to the same restaurant as a group of guys from another small, rural department: Mica-Kidd Island Fire, and another guy from a -really- small department who was also there alone. I decided while we were waiting to order that I had to take this opportunity if the 2 hour test was going to be anything but miserable. I made small talk about the menu with John, the guy from the -really- small department. The Mica-Kidd Island guys ordered a pizza; me and John found out that we both thought the Calzone there sounded good, but it was too big for just one of us. So he bought a calzone and I bought us a 2 liter pop. Before I knew it, I was sitting at the same table laughing and sharing stories with John and the guys from Mica-Kidd. They turned out to be a great bunch of fellas and I was finally having fun after 2 previously miserable class days.
The same guy who snubbed me the first day walked in a few minutes later. We invited him to come eat with us, but he turned his nose up again and went off by his lonesome. Turns out some people are just ********; we all laughed at how unsociable the guys from that department typically were.
Come test time, we all ended up in the same group taking the test. It was assigned groups anyway by splitting the room in half; but it worked out. I was comfortable at least because I had established myself with them. I was involved instead of just being the fifth wheel. The other bunch finished before we did, but I quipped that we were 'From rural areas, and dont have to live as fast as those city people'. That got a good laugh; if you learn to crack a good joke, you make a good impression on people. Even if it's just every now and then you pipe up with something, you're gaining their interest in you. (And we all say things that end up only being funny to us. Play it cool if no one laughs and let it roll off your shoulder.)
If I can overcome the anxiety of that class, on TOP of the anxiety of having a date with a girl the second night, I think you can overcome this. I literally had no appetite for most of the time I was sitting there because my stomach was doing barrel rolls the whole **** time. And the third day, the day of the test, was accompanied with a hollow disappointment; because the aforementioned date was a total flop in a growing line of total flops. So that third and hardest day, I was anxious, more or less depressed, and frankly there were points when nothing seemed like it could go well in my life and I basically wanted to die.
So I guess what I'm trying to say with that long-winded story, is that it's possible to walk in to a room of people you don't know, and as long as you have a common interest (whether it's triathlon, the fire service, or reborn pagan rituals), you can find a way to make it. You might have to take the lead in the process. Anxiety makes things scary as hell. But you have to jump through it. And when you do, and it works, I think the feeling of joy is twice as strong. And we become a bit more confident, because of success. Confidence through Competence, is what my partner says.
What I would do is try to find someone, or a couple of someones, as close to your experience level or level of fitness as possible, and be honest. Say you're new (or whatever your experience is) and see if you can run with them to pace yourself. Use this as your way to get in. 'Hi, I'm ______, mind if I run with you?', said with a little bit of a smile, is probably the simplest way.
(On that note, there's a creepy way and a right way to 'talk with' a smile. Actually smiling while you talk can look really odd; most of it should come from the eyes and a slight curling of the lips as opposed to a forced grin.)
