I'm trying to take the next step but I'm afraid of what may happen

[Maverick1989]

Remedy,

We're all inexperienced at one time or another and it's just practice, I fear things too but not in a sexual way. I can tell you this once you try kissing you develope your own technique, it's the kind of thing that you have to feel your way into.

Samba, I think he worries about the fact that the first encounter with a woman won't go as planned because he is inexperienced and she is not. When a boy and a girl of let's say 16, do it for the first time, they have less to be ashamed off, because they are both inexperienced... but when you are in your mid 20's its highly likely that you will encounter someone with experience and expects YOU to be too.

And then the fact that most (pretty women) just move on when they don't get the satisfaction they want, because; "like I care, I can get anyone I want"

Well, that's what I think he means though

[Remedy]

Samba, I think he worries about the fact that the first encounter with a woman won't go as planned because he is inexperienced and she is not. When a boy and a girl of let's say 16, do it for the first time, they have less to be ashamed off, because they are both inexperienced... but when you are in your mid 20's its highly likely that you will encounter someone with experience and expects YOU to be too.

And then the fact that most (pretty women) just move on when they don't get the satisfaction they want, because; "like I care, I can get anyone I want"

Well, that's what I think he means though

You are mostly right about everything I said except I don't feel the same way about the "pretty women" thing. Any and all people who think this way does not necessarily mean that they are usually pretty. It doesn't really matter what a person looks like because anyone can feel this way regardless of looks.

Also, what someone thinks is pretty completely differs from one person to the next. I just wish there was a way to find out sooner if someone doesn't like people who are inexperienced. So you don't have to get into something with someone and than end up feeling down when they drop you because you are.

I get what you all mean though, that if someone drops you for it you're better off. I guess I just hope to find someone who will like me for me and show me how to do things but it seems people like that are getting harder to find. I don't get how anyone is suppose to be good at something if they have never done it before :/. That's in the future(hopefully) and I'll try not to think about it to much.

[Badjedidude]

I just wish there was a way to find out sooner if someone doesn't like people who are inexperienced. So you don't have to get into something with someone and than end up feeling down when they drop you because you are.

Well, I find that brutal, complete honesty almost always works. Make it a point to tell them right from the start that you haven't had a lot of experience. You could even make it humorous, like this, "I know it sounds lame, but I don't have a lot of experience in this area...so don't make fun of me! "

Do it with that attitude, and most likely they're not going to be scared off or anything. Let 'em know you're not uber-experienced, but also let 'em know that it's not a big deal to you.

I don't get how anyone is suppose to be good at something if they have never done it before :/

lol yeah...that's true. I think I've said it before, though...I think those people that HAVE to have experienced partners are the minority. Most people would probably be willing to give you a chance no matter what sort of previous experience you may or may not have. ^_^

----Steve

[Wyrm]

Just let yourself go and let your man instincts take over. Before I was with my first girlfriend, I too thought that my inexperience would discourage her, but it didn't.

I've been getting back into the swing of talking to girls. As I progress, one major thing I've noticed is that getting better at it has involved stripping myself of most of the anxieties, conflicting thoughts, and mannerisms and behaviors that I was raised with as I was growing up. It's almost like I'm reverting to a consistent set of behaviors that I was born with. I feel more at harmony with myself now, because I look at the world from my own eyes and from my own soul. I basically put myself at the center of my world. It may sound selfish, but we all need to take care of ourselves and look after ourselves. Really, I don't care what people might think, nor do I even remotely care about what kind of male I feel that I'm expected to be (or any experience that I'm expected to have ).

Really, I just don't give a fuck anymore, and I do what I want to do, and I say what I want to say. It's really very liberating and empowering. Just let go of your worries, and don't worry about what she might think. Worrying about those kinds of things will screw you over. We all start somewhere. There are guys who start out pretty late, yet there are women who accept them very willingly. So don't worry about not having experience. Just practice and build up the experience along the way.

Sorry for the rant, but I hope that at least some of the info in my post will help you. Good luck, and chin up!!

[jales]

you think a lot remedy... i dont mean it in a bad way at all.. but i dont think as much as you at all

you worry a lot..
my advice is this; stop thinking.. just act and see where things go.
stop thinking about what may happen or about what people may think or about any of these things


just act... life is a lot more fun this way.

if you find yourself thinking about a future conversation.. what she may say.. what you will say.. STOP.
call her.. have a random conversation.. one you did not plan or review in your head.

if you continue to think so much you may depress yourself as things will almost NEVER go as you planned it in your head.

stop thinking.. if you like a girl.. go tell her NOW.
give the world a chance.. just tell her.. you may be rejected you may not be..
AT LEAST YOU WILL HAVE THE PEACE OF MIND THAT YOU TRIED.

so yes that is my advice... DO NOT THINK SO MUCH!

[Badjedidude]

Really, I just don't give a fuck anymore, and I do what I want to do, and I say what I want to say. It's really very liberating and empowering. Just let go of your worries, and don't worry about what she might think.

Completely awesome, Hadrurus. I couldn't agree more. Strangely enough, that is the exact attitude that women find most appealing in a man...the "I don't care what you think," attitude.

----Steve

[matthewferry]

There are times when thinking it over and over just will not get you anywhere. Learn to take risk. Not all things can be measured in thoughts and in numbers. Remember, every one of us had to take that first step. We acquire our experiences after that first step through time.

If that someone finds it hard to accept your innocence then maybe you're just not meant for each other. Think positive.