I need friends but I am stuck in a rut

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Snickers

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I hardly have friends. Even if I do, they are not remotely close to me and also, they are all busy with their lives, working full-time and studying to even bother about me. What's more they have other friends to tend to, and why would they pick me?

Anyways, I've ended high school on a bad note and couldn't even enter into a local school,and during my time there, I got abused by teachers and classmates alike, sneering at me even though they are no better.

Not surprisingly ..I went into depression for a year plus before meeting an online friend who introduced me a job. I worked there for a year, getting yelled at for my incompetency and finally left that job and went looking for another similar office setting but did really badly and was asked to leave before my probation is up.

After that I venture into retail and was also asked to leave until I found a course that I wanted online but was expensive and couldn't afford at that point of time. I called up my mum and aunt during late at night to ask for help. They both rejected and say to go earn it myself and promptly hang up my phone.

Well, I was left hanging and finally decided to go look for part-time retail work. I did found one and find that it wasn't earning enough so I decided to look for another one.

It was hell holding on to those jobs and earning pittance while getting scolded publicly for being incompetent before I finally quit after 5 mths of each and decided to ask my dad to pay the rest.

Finally the fees is being paid fully and now im graduating soon from the course and going to enter into another course soon (promised to be sponsored fully by my dad) and now im still working part-time at retail and still being so incompetent (talking is not my greatest asset and ironically all the jobs I held are customer service jobs)

No wonder i'm so bloody depressed and think life sucks and what's more my course has no value and it's just a stepping stone to a local diploma or otherwise.

What the hell, why does life sucks so much and I do not have any friends to share with or consult me or hold my hands and say 'here's the right path' and my dad keeps stressing me out by saying I could potentially take over paying the house bills.

I feel like **** really and ready to throw everything out and say 'heck it...i'm going to the nuthouse and stare at the walls till the day I pass out'

And yes, I suck terribly at making friends. I can't seem to connect to people anymore.
 
Hey Snickers.

i am sorry that you are in such a predicament, it seems like things were not easy at all for you these past years. :(
don't give up however. that would be ensuring the very thing you are trying to prevent.
keep up with your course, it cannot be entirely valueless. anything you learn will help you in the future :) and well, do you want the local diploma?

(hug)

welcome to the forums, i am sure you will find people to talk to here, and maybe even friends :) i know i have.
 
Hi I know how much that hurts day to day. I've been there too. I hope you find comfort in the fact that you are not really alone here. This is my first (real) post, I still don't have the courage to talk about what I am going through. So I think you are being quite courageous to just come right out and talk about it.

It's good that you taking a class. I admire your courage.
 
muff said:
Hi I know how much that hurts day to day. I've been there too. I hope you find comfort in the fact that you are not really alone here. This is my first (real) post, I still don't have the courage to talk about what I am going through. So I think you are being quite courageous to just come right out and talk about it.

It's good that you taking a class. I admire your courage.

Hey Muff,

i hope that you will find that courage some day... i know that it was really hard for me, to finally stop running and try and tell someone, anyone, what is actually going on. i never regretted that decision, although i had to drag myself kicking and screaming into it, trying to be even a tiny bit more open.

(hugs)

and well. i hope that you will find this forum supportive and safe enough for that.
 
If you aren't good at customer service, and you keep getting fired (or quit) from those jobs, what I'd suggest is to get a job that isn't customer service. But the job market is bad right now, and most of the time for anyone without experience customer service is just about the only thing available (go figure). I'm having a similar problem job-wise, though I've been luckier than you. I am good at faking competence and I'm good at some things in past workplaces so my jobs have gone fairly smoothly (though dealing with people all the time is stressful for me, so it wasn't all good). But now that I'm trying to get a professional job it's nigh impossible.

I'm also having problems friend-wise. I wish someone could help me out with my problems, too, even just to encourage me. I keep getting "scolded" (mildly reprimanded? reminded?) by my parents to get a job, but I've been trying and failing and so I'm losing my resolve. What I really need is someone to say something like, "You have a lot going for you, you'll find a job soon, I know it!" But I don't have that person and I can't keep telling myself that in their place. So, I'm in the same boat and I can say with confidence it sucks. I wish I had some advice for you! :(
 

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