trevorlawrence
New member
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2010
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Hi All,
My wife and I have been having some marital problems lately. She feels that I am not showing her enough affection and love. My defence was I was always making sure that the cleaning and housework was done before she arrived home from work so that she would not have to worry about it after working a long 10 hour day at work. Then I realized that I was going about it in a way that she didn't recognize that I was showing her love in doing this. So, lately I have been trying to tell her how much I love her and want to work things out because she felt that we weren't getting anywhere in our marriage and was considering leaving.
We have been talking about a lot of things lately and at first I felt like she was pushing me away until last night when she told me that she loved me for the first time in quite a while. That made me feel great, but, and this is big, she receives numerous text messages on her phone and this was nothing uncommon for her but all of a sudden all of these messages were a secret. Its not that I didn't know who the messages were coming from it was the fact that I felt she was hiding something from me.
So this morning I woke up early and looked at the messages on her phone. This was unable to happen in the past because any other time I looked the inbox and outbox would be empty. Now I realized that this was wrong because I was snooping but it just didn't make any since she had never hidden anything from me before. Also I did this while she was sleeping cause I figured this was the only time to look.
Anyway when I looked at the messages on the phone not to my surprise there were several messages. When I read the messages I felt deeply hurt cause it sounded to me like this person was trying to move in on my wife. So out of anger I woke her up and began to question her, which I also figured out was the wrong thing to do. Long story short we got into an argument about this and in the end I realized that everything was harmless and I had interpreted it all wrong.
Now I am in quite a pickle. Just when we start to make progress I questioned my trust for my wife and before she left for work this morning she asked me how we were going to fix me questioning my trust. To my dismay I had no answer for her. Now not only is she hurt from past issues here is a nothier one that we must try to work through. The only problem is I don't know where to start.
My wife and I have been having some marital problems lately. She feels that I am not showing her enough affection and love. My defence was I was always making sure that the cleaning and housework was done before she arrived home from work so that she would not have to worry about it after working a long 10 hour day at work. Then I realized that I was going about it in a way that she didn't recognize that I was showing her love in doing this. So, lately I have been trying to tell her how much I love her and want to work things out because she felt that we weren't getting anywhere in our marriage and was considering leaving.
We have been talking about a lot of things lately and at first I felt like she was pushing me away until last night when she told me that she loved me for the first time in quite a while. That made me feel great, but, and this is big, she receives numerous text messages on her phone and this was nothing uncommon for her but all of a sudden all of these messages were a secret. Its not that I didn't know who the messages were coming from it was the fact that I felt she was hiding something from me.
So this morning I woke up early and looked at the messages on her phone. This was unable to happen in the past because any other time I looked the inbox and outbox would be empty. Now I realized that this was wrong because I was snooping but it just didn't make any since she had never hidden anything from me before. Also I did this while she was sleeping cause I figured this was the only time to look.
Anyway when I looked at the messages on the phone not to my surprise there were several messages. When I read the messages I felt deeply hurt cause it sounded to me like this person was trying to move in on my wife. So out of anger I woke her up and began to question her, which I also figured out was the wrong thing to do. Long story short we got into an argument about this and in the end I realized that everything was harmless and I had interpreted it all wrong.
Now I am in quite a pickle. Just when we start to make progress I questioned my trust for my wife and before she left for work this morning she asked me how we were going to fix me questioning my trust. To my dismay I had no answer for her. Now not only is she hurt from past issues here is a nothier one that we must try to work through. The only problem is I don't know where to start.