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NarcolepticInsomniac

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I'm very prone to feeling lonely, which often leads to me being depressed. When my depression gets bad enough, I cut myself or at least attempt to, to relieve the pain. However, I've been doing it so often that I feel like I'm addicted to the feeling of pain and the after effects. Granted, my wrist is now riddled with minor slash marks but the relief feels so good that I can't stop.

God, I need help...
 
I'm trying to stop cutting, but slipped up 2 days ago. I cut because i lost control and couldn't distract myself any further. So if your looking for help, i'm offering an ear. However if you get real help, will you still want it? Do you really want to stop? Because if you want it bad enough, you can quit. It takes constant effort, distractions and a lot of questioning.
 
Have you tried something other than cutting to give you the same feeling? I find that when I run, when I've been going for about 30 minutes or so and I'm going full speed...I get to where I feel sooooo tired and exhausted that I can't think clearly...it just feels like my blood is acid and my limbs are weighted down...

....and then for some reason, it all goes away. The pain recedes, worries leave me, and I feel like I can fly and just keep running full speed forever. It's awesome.

I'd recommend trying that. It's healthy and definitely less self-destructive than cutting.

----Steve
 
Badjedidude said:
Have you tried something other than cutting to give you the same feeling? I find that when I run, when I've been going for about 30 minutes or so and I'm going full speed...I get to where I feel sooooo tired and exhausted that I can't think clearly...it just feels like my blood is acid and my limbs are weighted down...

....and then for some reason, it all goes away. The pain recedes, worries leave me, and I feel like I can fly and just keep running full speed forever. It's awesome.

I'd recommend trying that. It's healthy and definitely less self-destructive than cutting.

----Steve

great point. Also to original poster, If that sense of pushing your body to the limit just to feel alive is exhilirating for you, come try one of my workouts, they are pretty much like self abuse, but actually good for you. And there is definitely a sense of release.
 
NarcolepticInsomniac said:
I'm very prone to feeling lonely, which often leads to me being depressed. When my depression gets bad enough, I cut myself or at least attempt to, to relieve the pain. However, I've been doing it so often that I feel like I'm addicted to the feeling of pain and the after effects. Granted, my wrist is now riddled with minor slash marks but the relief feels so good that I can't stop.

God, I need help...

I used to be a pretty bad self-harmer. I used to love the feeling just after, it is sort of an 'ease' because the actual 'act' kinda knocks you out of the way of thinking you were in the first place that drove you to do it. Does that make sense?
And that 'ease' makes you believe that hurting yourself is good because it changes your feelings, which can be very addictive - or that is how it was for me anyhow. Is that how it is for you too perhaps?

I still have minor slip ups now and again, which I find even now very hard to control. But I am getting there, each day to stop it.

You have to start thinking outside of yourself really - realise that you are worth something, and that something doesn't deserve the harm you do to yourself. It is a hard step to make, but you can do it.

http://www.nshn.co.uk/

That website is a life saver. It has forums on there for people who are exactly the same - and it is probably the fastest responding forums I've ever been on. The help you receive is pretty much instant - it is pretty weird (but in a really nice way) how everyone comes together and responds with something to every single thread. So for support I would go there.

Other tips is to keep your arms/legs/where-ever you harm covered up. Stay away from knives or sharp objects. And when you feel like you are losing control - get outside or do something else quickly. My escape routes are loud music, jumping in the shower or masturbation. Find some of your own that work for you.

When I first stopped and I still had really bad urges and just had to hurt myself - I started just punching my body - bruises are less severe than scars, or that is how I saw it.

Anyhow I wish you the best of luck, you CAN do this, if you set your mind to it - and DON'T think you are a failure if you slip up from time to time.

Self-harming becomes a habit or a coping strategy, and like most habits or strategies - they are very hard to break. Lots of people slip up time and time again. You just need to give yourself a break, pick yourself back up and try again.

I'm here for you if you ever need to talk.

Take care :)
 
Badjedidude said:
I find that when I run, when I've been going for about 30 minutes or so and I'm going full speed

Great googly moogly, Tentacles! You can run at full speed for 30 minutes? I cannot run longer than... like... 30 seconds.
 
Haha...Well, by full speed I don't really mean full-out sprinting...but not a nicely-paced jogging, either. When I run, I generally go as fast as I can for as long as I can. It's actually not that bad until I get past 15 min or so...then my "faster" starts getting a bit slower, at least until I hit that "flying" sensation I talked about...

....once I'm flying, then holy moly, I can go on for forever. (or at least I feel like I can) :p

----Steve
 
There was a time when i used to cut myself everyday and once i even passed out from excessive bleeding. I've got so many scars on my body that i can't even go swimming and i never wear t-shirts coz ppl can see my scars and i don't want them to think i'm a freak lol. I did it out of anger and pain but now i realize it wasn''t worth it. Now i take out my depression by drinking a lot, much safer hehe....
 
when you cut or get injured the brain releases endorphins and adrenalin along with dopamine

the dopamine will actually make you feel better emotionally as will the endorphins, edorphins are generally relased when excercising which is comonly known as a runner's high and then the adrenaline makes you excited, making you feel more alive.

So it's not just some morbid philosophy there is a physiological response that makes you feel good temporary but like any drug there is a low that comes after the high

here's a wiki article

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-injury

and a yahoo answers thread about it

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080215151109AAZ8ho2

i find that the more you know about something the better chance you have of being able to deal with it

and it can become an addiction i had a friend that got really addcited to it and had to go to the emergency room a few times because of it

running is good alternative too, also if you go for a long run without stopping you can get just as much pain from that as you would from cutting, in highschool i liked to say cross country runner's are the most hardcore masicists there are becuase i was a runner

but good luck, it's hard to get off anything like this

but we're her for you

*hugs*

ps I like your screenname becuase it's cool and ironic, because narcoleptics fall alsleep uncontrollably and insomniacs can't sleep haha

i love irony

:)
 
right. so we should all just exercise more instead of sitting around moping and cutting ourselves. :p
 
whoah! lets not go nuts with all this exermacising stuff.. and mopping is good for the kitchen floor, then you can cut some carrots for yer soup.
 
Just_Some_Dude said:
right. so we should all just exercise more instead of sitting around moping and cutting ourselves.

Yup. Sounds kitchy and kinda dumb, maybe...but it works. :p

----Steve
 

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