I feel like a complete failure

I am that1guy and I am new to this site, and I read some posts and I feel like this is a great site. I just want to say this about my high school life. I feel like a failure. Throughout all of my years (I am a senior) I have not played sports, went to 1 dance, but I was pretty much by myself the whole time, never had a girlfriend, and never was really part of the popular crowd and actually come to think of it I am kind of an outsider. I try to get along with people but alot of them, especially girls seem to think I am weird or something. I also feel that because of my bad social life that I have missed out on so much stuff. Just thought this site would be great to post this and sorry if I am bringing anyone down from this post.

Welcome to the site, that1guy.

I hope you find what you need here, whether that be some new friends or some helpful advice! I look forward to seeing you around.

----Steve

Welcome

Hello! And welcome!

You are definitely NOT a failure, just because you feel you have had a 'bad social life'

Have you considered joining a club or group for something? What interests or hobbies do you have?

Or even doing some volunteering at a community centre/conservation centre etc?

Those are great places to meet people and boost your confidence/skills at.

Hey and welcome.

If all that makes you a complete failure then crap, so am I. I prefer to live in denial though. No I'm not a failure, I'm just a non-conformist.

Hmmm... Alot of people seem to share the same experiences regarding high school. I always put it down to some people being more mature than others.
I never fitted in at high school, because I always felt what those around me were doing was a bit immature, and didn't want to join in. The mindsets are a little too different.
While I was, at the age of 14/15, etc, debaiting little politcal arguements on forums for my own amusement, and increasing my understanding of how other people felt and comprehended things, my friends were just calling each other various descriminating terms of various types for lulz, and generally trying to show off to earn each others approval.

When I went to college with like-minded people, and started noting the backgrounds of online acquantances, I noticed the pattern showing.
Consider your outcasty-ness a result of being wiser than the average jerk you encounter. Not a bad thing in the slightest. ;3
Just my train of thought.

You know, that sounds like a pretty accurate description of my highschool experiences as well, so I can totally relate.

But honestly you've got the rest of your life to live before anyone - including yourself - can or should call you a failure. That's a lot of time to change your circumstances, and for all the things that you may have missed well I think most of those things can still be had regardless of your age.

Finding a direction that you want to take yourself in. It took me 23 years to figure out what I wanted with my life, and that alone made a massive change for me. It's far from perfect, but it's certainly something to work towards.

Search for a direction and follow it the best you can. Judge whether you're a failure when you're old and have lived your life

You aren't bringing us down

HS is HS its almost over and you get a fresh start in college but not having done all that stuff doesnt make you a failure.

that1guy said:

I am that1guy and I am new to this site,

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Welcome to the site, it's a great place and has helped me through some difficult things. I'm Brian, 22 so probably a bit older than you, but not by much.

that1guy said:

I feel like a failure. Throughout all of my years (I am a senior) I have not played sports,

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I never touched sports, either. Frankly I don't think I was ever really welcomed in to that crowd anyway. It's really pretty inconsequential, in my opinion...unless you like one of those sports, there's no reason to be involved. But I can relate to the feeling of being left out.

that1guy said:

went to 1 dance, but I was pretty much by myself the whole time

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I've been there before, too. I went to exactly one school dance in highschool and was definitely alone. I cried my eyes out, that night...I think I became a bit more aware of my status as a loner, at that point. I thought a girl was going to meet me there, but we never spoke about it face to face beforehand so I cannot say whether or not I got stood up. She was a good friend of mine in elementary school.

that1guy said:

never had a girlfriend,

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Me neither. I still don't. So don't feel too bad.

that1guy said:

and never was really part of the popular crowd and actually come to think of it I am kind of an outsider.

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Those people are overrated. And, a bit of a spoiler, most of them find out that real life is an equalizer when it comes to social status and that their parents disposable income doesn't really make them cool anymore.

that1guy said:

I try to get along with people but alot of them, especially girls seem to think I am weird or something.

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Been there too. Anything outside the social norm in the way of dress or interests makes you an alien.

that1guy said:

I also feel that because of my bad social life that I have missed out on so much stuff.

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Pal, I've been feeling that way for a while too since I put a couple of years between me and 'that chapter' of my life (I feel a bit old saying that). I don't recall if I ever looked through that lens at an earlier age like you are. I find certain things make me reminisce, in a regretful sort of way. Certain songs or movies on the subject of love, or highschool-age feelings and experiences, especially ones made when I was in my late teens; they stir great feelings of regret, like I only led half of a life until adulthood, and like I'm crippled now for it, weighed down by some great anchor in these aspects of life. Songs like Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard, or movies like Napoleon Dynamite to which I can relate in a way. They bring a dark nostalgia for something I never had in to my thoughts.


I don't know how to fix that. But I can tell you you will find success in life if you perform diligently, maturely and reliably, and with enthusiasm. Even though I have a GED, I'm attending college. I've been working on a career as a firefighter with success (though my entire crew was recently laid off); and I've been considering branching in to other things that are definitely not the realm of people who are failures. If you do as I've described, you will also find success.

Dealing with the rest is up to you. I will tell you I've dealt with these feelings by being a bit bitter and very judgmental of my peers who I do not think highly of. Very judgmental. I've been called jaded and occasionally an *******, but I also have the mutual respect of those who are worth having respect from, because I show it to them and they know it's worth something.

Work hard, pal. And we're always here to support you, because at the end of the day we all back eachother up here, even if it is only words on the internet.