There Can Be Diferent Types Of Lonliness, Which One Are You?

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Cypha

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I think there can be many types of lonliness, usually because of something that people lacks. Everyone may be effected by a few of these but which one effects you the most?


1. Not many friends

2. Little or no family

3. Lack of an intimate relationship

4. Being alienated in a relationship or marriage

5. The opposite sex doesn't understand you

5. People in general just don't understand you
 
All of the above and

6. Having been lonely for so long live the life of a hermit and reside in despair.

On the plus side loneliness gets to where it hurts less, but that's because it's already killed off your emotions.
 
I would say 2, 3, and 4. Most of my family died so I do suffer from missing them even though it happened nearly 15 years ago.

My recent relationship has gone long distance, no longer intimate like it was and I suppose somewhat alienating. Before that I too had learned to be mostly okay with having nothing and no one, but I wouldn't say it resulted in having no emotions. On the contrary it makes me feel like God. Like I was living on the outside of creation where there is no one but me and I can only live through others in books, shows, and video games. To me fantasy is more real then reality.

Prior to that I had a lot of issues with 4 and 5 too. I always felt misunderstood. I guess I just accepted that most likely no one would understand and learned not to care, but it used to make me feel lonely.
 
All of the above except for 2 and 4. All of them hurt but it's just the lack of an intimate relationship that hurts the most. I'm just shunned and not noticed by the opposite sex.
 
Remedy said:
All of the above except for 2 and 4. All of them hurt but it's just the lack of an intimate relationship that hurts the most. I'm just shunned and not noticed by the opposite sex.

This probably won't help, but I want you know that it's a common tendency to perceive the grass as being greener. I used to think an intimate relationship would be the most awesome thing in the world, but it does have it's drawbacks, challenges, and times when it can make you feel as bad as it does good. It is good, but you probably put it on a pedestal like I used to.

For the most part, things don't get better or worse, they just change. All I'm saying is, you should still search, but try and take some consolation in this and appreciate what you do have. Not having a relationship, you don't have to deal with arguments, coordinating your life with someone, etc.

When you are truly ready to learn the lessons of love you will feel it on every level and you will find someone. It may be hard to believe you will ever find someone, but I assure you this is an essential episode in just about everyone's life eventually. So don't lose hope.
 
1, 3, and the second 5. Although not having an intimate relationship doesn't bother me that much at times, and then at other times it's like, PLEASE ALL I WANT IS A FRAKKING HUG.
 
For me, it's lack of an intimate relationship...and not just a romantic one.

Sure, I have friends that I can hang out with and do stuff with...but I can't be close to them. I can't tell them my deepest secrets, and that's ok...because not all friends SHOULD be the closest, most intimate kind. There are different levels of friendship, and not all friends want to be super close to one another.

But I miss having at least one close friend to reveal my secrets to and tell my innermost thoughts and feelings. However, this loneliness has begun to lessen as I've found a few on this site who I can talk to in such a way...so it's alright, really. :)

----Steve
 
Badjedidude said:
For me, it's lack of an intimate relationship...and not just a romantic one.

Sure, I have friends that I can hang out with and do stuff with...but I can't be close to them. I can't tell them my deepest secrets, and that's ok...because not all friends SHOULD be the closest, most intimate kind. There are different levels of friendship, and not all friends want to be super close to one another.

But I miss having at least one close friend to reveal my secrets to and tell my innermost thoughts and feelings. However, this loneliness has begun to lessen as I've found a few on this site who I can talk to in such a way...so it's alright, really. :)

----Steve

This exact reason.

I don't have a lot of friends sure, and I'm reasonably okay with that (a few more certainly wouldn't hurt mind you) but it's the lack of any kind of really close friendship that really gets to me.

A lack of family kind of gets to me also. My entire family has almost always just been me and my parents. No brothers, sisters, aunts or uncles and all but one of my grandparents have passed on since I was little. It's always a little sad when I talk to people with larger families and listen to all the stories of the things they've shared throughout their lives, whereas I've had none of that.
 
Lonesome Crow said:
you left out the crazy type :p

Honey, I guess that would explain me.

Otherwise, I was opting for number 5. I feel that people just don't get me, though I suppose it's possible that they do get me and just don't like me. Or maybe they do like me and I am too blind to see it. honeysuckle, I can't even make up my minds here.

*shudder*

At least if I am crazy, I can claim a legit excuse.
 
No, no, I am the crazy type!

My biggest issue now, in terms of loneliness, is a lack of an intimate relationship. My hard word to find friends has started to pay off, and I have family nearby, so I don't have to be alone if I don't want to be.

I like the idea of an intimate relationship, but the realities I have had were difficult. I am not sure what I want. I worry that when my family is gone, I will be really alone, but I have been lonely in a relationship, too.
 
I guess my 'types' as you put it, would be:

1. Not many friends
2. Little or no family
3. Lack of an intimate relationship
5. People in general just don't understand you

Huzzah! Go me. :club:
 
I guess i would suffer type 3 and 5. The first being the worst for me, and the second being the cause.
 
When I'm alone, I'm never lonely.
It feels like solitude to me.
I've been that way all my life.

But when I'm around people I feel totally invisible.
It's the most awful feeling.
Like that song with the line
"standing knee-deep in a river, and dying of thirst"
People everywhere, and so so cold.

So I'm lonely only when around people
therefore I retreat, and have so few friends
because being by myself hurts less than being ignored.


Only Me
 
1. Not many friends
3. Lack of an intimate relationship
5. People in general just don't understand you

Those ones. 5 isn't really exactly accurate, it's not that people don't have the ability to understand me, but it's the fact I always avoid letting my problems be known, it feels like I'm just trying to act normal and pretended I don't have any problems related to lonliness so I could fit in with people who could never understand me or help. It feels like I'm constantly standing still at this spot where if I decided to move forward, everything will just collapse, if that makes sense.
 
1,2, and 3 for me. At one point I would have added 6 in there but I don't feel that's the case much anymore. :D
 

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