facebook anxiety

so my social anxiety is so bad that when i add new friends on facebook i have serious anxiety on what to say on their page. its so stupid, but there it is. i just added a couple of old high school friends and both are pregnant, one just got married. i typed out five different things to say, and thought "oh they're just going to think im lame." so i deleted them and typed nothing.

and then i think, well, they havent typed anything on my page. maybe they dont care and its not big deal. or maybe they think im a snob! omg...this is so stupid.

should i just say nothing? should i type something? i wasnt good friends with them. we never hung out. we talked occasionally and i played on the same high school sports team with them. but that was it.

For both of those situations, a "Congratulations!" works. Pregnant women often enjoy spreading the joy of their happiness.

It can be difficult re-connecting with people from the past.

I added basically my entire graduating class from high school not long after our 20th reunion (which I missed). One of the people with whom I actually had kept in touch let people know I was on facebook. So we got all caught up and I may never actually have to go to a reunion for real now that my curiosity is satisfied.

I haven't written anything on most of their pages (or they on mine) in ages, though we do casually comment on various status updates from time to time, so we sort of have a vague interest in each other.

I cancelled my facebook as a sign of political protest, all those "friends" made me feel really wannabeish

I know how exactly how you feel I did that for years, it took me a while to work out what I wanted to say and stick with it. I mean to make a paragraph would take an hour and after all that hard work I would delete it.

The root cause of it is that you might have self esteem issues about how people see you, start looking into self help topics on google to see if any of the help resonates with you and give it a try.

I still have the issue but from it being a 10 to begin with it's now done to a 2, believe in yourself (er something I need to do myself, haven't got that far down the road yet to start on that work).

Another form of anxiety is worry, worrying about what people think of you, which reflects your inner world and how you feel about yourself.

Do the best that you can, just baby steps to begin with. I started posting only if I felt like it, don't push yourself into it it only creates a wall that can not be climbed because of lack of faith. Build on good energy something that makes you feel positive about yourself and keep doing it ignore the rest, sooner or later you'll be writing on facebook.

Just start with little tasks that are achievable and once you accomplish that go on to the next one.

Hope that helps.

Don't use facebook. It's the honeysuckle-stained drop of rotten puke from the darkest corner of Satan's lower intestine.

...just sayin'.

----Steve

There's nothing wrong with facebook..just like there's nothing wrong with ALL...
It's depends on you as an indiviual

Lmao...i don't even talk to half the people that's on my friends list on facebook...
It's not a big deal to me...All of my HS friends knew me. I bascailly grew up with
half of those people from childhood. A lot of my friends were happy to hear from me...

thanks guys. i feel a little less anxiety today. i didnt write anything. i was thinking of just commenting on a post or something; trying not to make a big deal out of it.

but you nailed it Samba. i have very low self esteem. i dont even know why i added people on my page because im so embarrassed that they'll see i accomplished nothing. back in high school i was the most talented (girl) athlete and got full scholarship offers to top ten schools. i was flown out to see the schools. but i failed miserably after i got to college. and now im just starting to work on getting a degree. i dont have a job, i have no kids, and i have no friends. all my past high school friends are very successful with kids, and friends galore on their pages. so i feel like an ass around them.

ive been having a miserable week (spring break) and just trying not to get myself too depressed. i havent left the house or gotten out of my pj's in two days. i was going to go to a boot camp meetup in the morning, but seeing that its 3am, i dont think its gonna happen.

oh..don't worry so much...send your friends an e-mail. Just start talking to them.
They'll be more understanding and accepting of you more than you think.
After all we're all grown up and mature adults now. Alot of that pity HS stuff just isn't there anymore.

Heck some of them might even wish they have what you have. Being single.hahaaaaaa
Heck some of the married ones has marrital problems and need someone to listen and talk to them.lol

They don't have life figured out any more than you do.

There's a girl on my FB account that i had a crushed on since middle school. i used to slapp her ass almost everyday while
we were at our locker. She's a nice girl but nice girl need some ass slapping everyonce in a while too
That's the kind of relationship or friendship I have with her.
She's married with kids and I guess very successful
but deep down inside she's still that same person I used to know. I even sent her e-mail asking her for help on some stuff.
She was more willing to help me. She bascailly helped me on some of my school work while we were in HS.

Even my one of ex hs gf is one there...She used to drive my **** car everywhere, becuase i was too **** drunk to drive after keggers....Hahahaaaaa
Bascailly she was using me. On the surface it seem coo becuase people would see us together all time.
She requested to be added to my account.
We talk everyonce in a while...nothing major. At least there's peace between us.

One of my freinds is a movie star..but he just wants to be treated like a regular person.
Most of us the knew him while he was in HS pretty much just talks to him as if he's just another friend.
It keeps him grounded as a person becuase alot of people kissed his ass..but we don't
I remember him being homeless with holes in his shoes, years after graduating from from Harvard when he was in his late 20's.
I didn't judge him then...so why would I judge him now. He has living problems just like everyone else no matter how successful he is, at the moment.

Heck ..even my ex-wf is on my account. That's how she found me. She's been looking for me for 5 years. hahahaaaaa
I didn't know that....See, it's not always what I think. I thought she really, really hated me.
So, I'm repairing that relationship.

I had a lot of rich friends while I was in HS...Errr, hahahaaa... most of my friends came from rich family. Our parents were successful in their career.
Most of us were spoiled. Half of us turned out kind of messed up while in our teens or early adulthood.
I don't trip on rich people becuase I know it's not all s bed of roses.

My sponsor is a MD...Bascailly he's very intelligent and very rich. I don't trip out when I go have dinner with him in a fancy resturant in my ripped jeans (he's fucken buying.lmao)
He also dose that so i won't trip out. To let me know, I'm not more or less than he is. He loves and care for me as a person no matter what my current life situation is at a given moment.
I was unemployed and very depressed about a year ago.
As a person he has living problems or challenges just like I do. He has fears, depression and just as crazy aS I Am.

After all..you can use FB to establish relationships with your friends again or net wrok.

Just keep reaching out to people.


Better yet just go outside everyday.

Lonesome Crow said:

She's a nice girl but nice girl need some ass slapping everyonce in a while too

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Truly, words to live by. Thank you for brightening my day, LC. xoxo

i went on FB about a year ago to 'have a look'.. seems just about everyone is despicably successful, all of them own three castles a piece and have two lamborghini's stashed in the spare palace, where their 15.3 kids are continuing their astronomical successes in an orgy of achievement and heavenly delight..

bitter? jealous? nah.

actually i couldn't find the one person i wanted to so it just kinda petered out in effort for me..

PoWer2tHePeOpLE said:

i went on FB about a year ago to 'have a look'.. seems just about everyone is despicably successful, all of them own three castles a piece and have two lamborghini's stashed in the spare palace, where their 15.3 kids are continuing their astronomical successes in an orgy of achievement and heavenly delight..

bitter? jealous? nah.

actually i couldn't find the one person i wanted to so it just kinda petered out in effort for me..

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amen to this. i've got no problem with faKebook per se.

it's just that there is usually a good reason those relationships are no longer ongoing. i found faKebook to be a place where people actually begin competing with other people to see who can drum up the most outdated and/or irrelevant relationships from the past.

i joined faKebook about two years ago, to find three people from my past and apologize. then i was done. but now, i'm back on again, with no friends LOL, just a blog myself. if anybody wanted to find me they could, but i'm a loner and always have been. i prefer it that way, legitimately.

Just_Some_Dude said:

PoWer2tHePeOpLE said:

i went on FB about a year ago to 'have a look'.. seems just about everyone is despicably successful, all of them own three castles a piece and have two lamborghini's stashed in the spare palace, where their 15.3 kids are continuing their astronomical successes in an orgy of achievement and heavenly delight..

bitter? jealous? nah.

actually i couldn't find the one person i wanted to so it just kinda petered out in effort for me..

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amen to this. i've got no problem with faKebook per se.

it's just that there is usually a good reason those relationships are no longer ongoing. i found faKebook to be a place where people actually begin competing with other people to see who can drum up the most outdated and/or irrelevant relationships from the past.

i joined faKebook about two years ago, to find three people from my past and apologize. then i was done. but now, i'm back on again, with no friends LOL, just a blog myself. if anybody wanted to find me they could, but i'm a loner and always have been. i prefer it that way, legitimately.

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i put a photo up of my cat in the profile photo space and got a comment that that was exactly how i was remembered looking like.. i like to think i keep my whiskers better trimmed now..

i posted one comment on a 'high school chums' wall that i liked their avatar. she didn't respond. was it something i said? are you supposed to write more on the wall? so much confusion i almost collapsed.

steadying myself i realized that these people already knew each other in.. some.. way.. and there was the distinct odour of effort that was lacking in me.

if the place does it for you, hurrah!
if not then there's one less thing you have to be disciplined about showing up for.

I was glad to hear from some high school friends. One in particular really brightened my day when I saw her friend's request. I tend not to add people, because I don't like feeling the "I'm bombarding in on your life" feeling I know I would get. I figure if they don't add me, they don't care to talk. But a lot of people did add me, and I just usually ask them how they are, and how they've been doing. It's always nice to catch up.

Don't take Facebook too seriously. It isn't life.

PoWer2tHePeOpLE said:

i went on FB about a year ago to 'have a look'.. seems just about everyone is despicably successful, all of them own three castles a piece and have two lamborghini's stashed in the spare palace, where their 15.3 kids are continuing their astronomical successes in an orgy of achievement and heavenly delight..

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haha! so true. except there is one girl from my high school that i feel sorry for. she does have a million friends but you can tell her self esteem is really suffering. in some sick way that's comforting to me...guess misery loves company.

i have found some old friends and it was very exciting to find them. so i guess i should focus on that. i guess im getting caught up in the rat race. and one thing is i sort of lied to a couple of my old high school friends and made up an impressive career that i dont really have. i told them that i already graduated from college and am working in a research lab, none of which is true. so i cant post much on my facebook page since different people think different things about me on there.

*heretostay* said:

i told them that i already graduated from college and am working in a research lab, none of which is true. so i cant post much on my facebook page since different people think different things about me on there.

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noone says you can't treat FatBook as an exercise in creative writing.

VanillaCreme said:

. I tend not to add people, because I don't like feeling the "I'm bombarding in on your life" feeling I know I would get. I figure if they don't add me, they don't care to talk.

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From my experience with facebook a large majority of people just friend request in order to get their friend count up. I'd say around 60% of the people that send me friend request have never said one word to me in real life, they just know my name from school.

I wouldn't worry about people feeling like your imposing on people by friend requesting them because I've never heard of anyone actually caring, and if they do care then they can press ignore in 1 sec.

Facebook is mainly just a "look at me and my 1,000 friends I have! Guess what I'm going to do today!?! Eat lunch and then go home and take a nap.!" *5 people like this*

Coverage said:

I wouldn't worry about people feeling like your imposing on people by friend requesting them because I've never heard of anyone actually caring, and if they do care then they can press ignore in 1 sec.

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this is what i thought, until i tried to add a couple of past friends. one friend just flat out ignored me, which was hurtful because i was good friends with him before i moved. but then i tend to offend people and i never know why.

I like go on facebook to play that really annoying game, you know the one it's called "Lets look through people we went to school with profiles and become really hateful, bitter and jealous"

We hate it when our friends become successful
and if they're Northern, that makes it even worse
and if we can destroy them
you bet your life we will
destroy them
if we can hurt them
well, we may as well...
it's really laughable
you see, it should've been me
it could've been me
everybody knows

Oscillate_Wildly said:

I like go on facebook to play that really annoying game, you know the one it's called "Lets look through people we went to school with profiles and become really hateful, bitter and jealous"

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too flippin' hilarious! thanks! funny, but true...