Meditation - Inner Serenity and Peace

I am often feeling very unbalanced emotionally, and feel very sad. And, obviously, loneliness goes along with that. I start thinking about how bad my life is, how certain very important aspects are missing from it, and obviously, it really gets me down - a LOT!

Sometimes, I just sit down and meditate, and not only do I feel calm, I feel relaxed and experience pleasant feelings inside me (although it doesn't happen every time).

Something that I often feel about myself is that no one can really understand me for who I am, or how I react to certain situations (emphasis on social ones), and this whole thought process really makes me feel lonesome even more.

And I got to a conclusion. Even though it is really very painful to think about how lonely I am, maybe it would be better if I would experience just a little bit more self communication, you know, feeling and experiencing myself from the inside.

And I have to tell you, while it doesn't always help a ton, it certainly helps some, so I do it. I just wanted to share this with you, and hopefully it will help not only me to feel somewhat better, but also whoever would do it as well.

The type of meditation that I do is called anapanasati meditation. It means "mindfulness through breath". It is a form of meditation that clears out your mind from any thought (because that is the whole essence of this meditation, to focus only on breath), and it is part of a larger system of meditation called vipassana, which is, supposedly, a very emotional healing form of meditation.

I really recommend this meditation, especially if you feel like you have emotional roller coasters inside you. I know that I do.

Meditations helps alot. Bascailly learning and practicing to let go.

HeatOfSpirit said:

And I got to a conclusion. Even though it is really very painful to think about how lonely I am, maybe it would be better if I would experience just a little bit more self communication, you know, feeling and experiencing myself from the inside.

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that's interesting because from meditating i came to basically the same conclusion. i feel i do not know myself very well because i am always so preoccupied with the external world. im constantly judging myself, my feelings, and my situation. and i am always reaching outward for acceptance and happiness, but i am not even nice to myself. i have a lot of negative self talk (especially this week).

*heretostay* I can totally relate to what you are saying. I also judge myself a ton, mostly with general over self-analysis. And about negative self-talk, I also relate to myself negatively a ton (just today it happened lol, I got all depressed for like 40 minutes during work).

But self-judgement is usually most probably in relation to other people or external stimuli. I found that if I could get to a very relaxed meditative state (even though I am still a beginner in all this), and clear my head from thought (in other words, just focus on breath -- that way negative thoughts cannot enter me), bad self-judgement and negativity that happens throughout the day kind of disappears, well at least while I am meditating. However, because I put myself in a relaxed and calm state, the feeling kinda stays, sometimes even for a short while.

And oh yeah, meditation is not about getting to logical conclusions about yourself, it's more about being aware of what is, as it is - without judgement or analysis, it just is. That's how I look at it.

HeatOfSpirit said:

I also judge myself a ton, mostly with general over self-analysis. And about negative self-talk, I also relate to myself negatively a ton (just today it happened lol, I got all depressed for like 40 minutes during work).

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Do you ever wonder why you have so much negative self-talk? i was wondering this the other day. Dr. Phil always tells his guests that you wouldnt do something if you werent getting something out of it. So i wonder if i am getting something from it, some kind of masochistic reward?? But i thought it strange that i would say all kinds of horrible things to myself. Do you ever wonder why its so hard to not judge yourself? I got myself so upset last week that i didnt leave the house or shower in four days. not pretty.

And i dont even belief in positive self-talk. i think this is just as delusional as negative self-talk; its just the opposite extreme. One thing i like about meditation is it teaches not to try and judge yourself either way, but to accept things as they are without needing to label them good or bad.

*heretostay* said:

HeatOfSpirit said:

I also judge myself a ton, mostly with general over self-analysis. And about negative self-talk, I also relate to myself negatively a ton (just today it happened lol, I got all depressed for like 40 minutes during work).

Click to expand...

Do you ever wonder why you have so much negative self-talk? i was wondering this the other day. Dr. Phil always tells his guests that you wouldnt do something if you werent getting something out of it. So i wonder if i am getting something from it, some kind of masochistic reward?? But i thought it strange that i would say all kinds of horrible things to myself. Do you ever wonder why its so hard to not judge yourself? I got myself so upset last week that i didnt leave the house or shower in four days. not pretty.

And i dont even belief in positive self-talk. i think this is just as delusional as negative self-talk; its just the opposite extreme. One thing i like about meditation is it teaches not to try and judge yourself either way, but to accept things as they are without needing to label them good or bad.

Click to expand...

Our inner dialog.

It's just your inner vioce. It don't care if it's right, wrong, good or bad.
It's neatrual.

A lot people associate it as the critical vioce...becuase somewhere
along the line we had been programmed or trainned to be critical of ourselves.
Rather then to just self evaluate without beating up on
ourselves, comdeming ourselves, judging ourselves and comparing
ourselve to others..such as jesus fucken christ.

We can use this against us or for us. The power is within ourselve to do so.

You can simply replace the negative vioce. During the process of
mediation one will begin to recognize the negative inner vioce at play.
It can be subtle.

One will also begin to recognize..one have crap load of thoughts.
You are not your thoughts...
mmmm....so YOU THINK you're a bad person?


I meditate every morning when I get up. I just sit and watch the sunrise.
Focus on the sunrise...be in the moment not my head. Gradually
i'll be awaken or more aware of my surrondings. Such as a bird flying
cross the sky. The moon still shining. A star to the west. The freash
air that I breath. The beautiful flowers in the garden.

I'm actaully more focus and productive after meditation or living in the
moment. My thoughts are clearer.

Positive thinking or a living mediation helps me when I'm at work or in an enviorment
that's not so soothing, quite, sereen...such as my place of employment. It like being in the eye of a hurrican sometimes...
It's peaceful at the center while everything on the outside is flying
in circles with a lot of dramma, turamma, chaos and whatever else.

Sometimes a co-worker or people might being having a bad day
and wanna take honeysuckle out on me...I'm focus enough to say "fresia you"
and be at peace about it. Being spiritual dosn't mean being spineless.

Bounaries or filters...
In other words..don't evade my space. I can pretend like I'm teflon man...nothing sticks to me.
Or I can have a positive energy force surrounding me. Negative will not entire my space/life..negative people, place and things can STFO and GTFO.lol
I'm learning to let go of all these things too...it's the same principles as letting go of my thoughts.
Only love, happiness and posperirty is allow in my life today. It's my life. It's my chioce. I'll do whatever I want.