MYBIGFATLIFE
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- Joined
- Mar 28, 2010
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Im a 29 year old male from British Columbia, Can. I currently weigh about 300 LBS. A fat piece of honeysuckle (this is what I call myself)
I have been fat my entire life, and as far back as I can remember I have always hated myself too. I feel disgust when I look in the mirror and perhaps this is my biggest problem. How can I expect to find someone to love when I hate myself soo much?
I grew up in a harsh small town and naturally everyday was a reminder of my fat riddled body. Soon enough I found Pot which basically just gave me a false sence of happieness. I fell in love with girls, usually once I got to know them (through friends etc) but unfortunately by the time I really started to feel comfortable and interest in a relationship, I was always stuck in the "friendship" role which in my mind means..."You are a great person, but because your fat I am not interested in you as anything but firends"
I really fell hard for one young lady whom I worked with during my early years at the company I work for. I got really close and by the time I got close enough to try and start suggesting things maybe go towards relashionship she said something to the effect that if She dated me it would ruin our friendship (that ******* friendship bullshit that haunts me to this day)
Realistically this just makes me feel used. These are the same girls that stop at nothing to sleep with half the other guys at work. So the friendships die and I wollow back into my pit of despair.
Its not like I am looking for a one night stand, and I might have even succeed in loosing my virginity if I was willing to seperate sex and relationship but in my mind what I really want is a woman to share the rest of my life with, not a one nighter.
Here I am in adulthood. Got a great management job that pays well. I own a house and a nice car and yet I still can't find any value in it all without sharing my life with someone special.
Im 29 and have only kissed a girl once, I have never had a girlfriend of any kind (other than being the "friend" king) and this makes me feel like the biggest looser in the world.
Now granted it is my fault, since I have done nothing proactively to get rid of the disgusting fat, but I did just try to quit pot to see if I can start there, I also have a plan to get back on the treadmill. The last time I did that I lost 40 pounds but rejection caused everything to crumble.
So you might be asking yourself, why is this looser writting all of this honeysuckle out on this forum he just signed on to. Simple, I am a chicken honeysuckle and will not post something like this where anyone I know will read it and I am hoping by some miracle there is an answer in here for me.
Thank you for your time.
I have been fat my entire life, and as far back as I can remember I have always hated myself too. I feel disgust when I look in the mirror and perhaps this is my biggest problem. How can I expect to find someone to love when I hate myself soo much?
I grew up in a harsh small town and naturally everyday was a reminder of my fat riddled body. Soon enough I found Pot which basically just gave me a false sence of happieness. I fell in love with girls, usually once I got to know them (through friends etc) but unfortunately by the time I really started to feel comfortable and interest in a relationship, I was always stuck in the "friendship" role which in my mind means..."You are a great person, but because your fat I am not interested in you as anything but firends"
I really fell hard for one young lady whom I worked with during my early years at the company I work for. I got really close and by the time I got close enough to try and start suggesting things maybe go towards relashionship she said something to the effect that if She dated me it would ruin our friendship (that ******* friendship bullshit that haunts me to this day)
Realistically this just makes me feel used. These are the same girls that stop at nothing to sleep with half the other guys at work. So the friendships die and I wollow back into my pit of despair.
Its not like I am looking for a one night stand, and I might have even succeed in loosing my virginity if I was willing to seperate sex and relationship but in my mind what I really want is a woman to share the rest of my life with, not a one nighter.
Here I am in adulthood. Got a great management job that pays well. I own a house and a nice car and yet I still can't find any value in it all without sharing my life with someone special.
Im 29 and have only kissed a girl once, I have never had a girlfriend of any kind (other than being the "friend" king) and this makes me feel like the biggest looser in the world.
Now granted it is my fault, since I have done nothing proactively to get rid of the disgusting fat, but I did just try to quit pot to see if I can start there, I also have a plan to get back on the treadmill. The last time I did that I lost 40 pounds but rejection caused everything to crumble.
So you might be asking yourself, why is this looser writting all of this honeysuckle out on this forum he just signed on to. Simple, I am a chicken honeysuckle and will not post something like this where anyone I know will read it and I am hoping by some miracle there is an answer in here for me.
Thank you for your time.