I feel sad when I see pictures...scrapbooks of people with their friends...

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Luna

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At my workplace, at their homes...on the internet, it seems that so many people have pictures of themselves with their friends laughing and smiling.
Celebrating the "good times" and "memories" that they shared.

All my pictures...the few that I do keep, I am alone.

I am making a scrap-book of my travels, and took a look at some examples online...and of course, a lot of the pictures had friends together all sharing a laugh and having fun.
There are some nice scrap-booking albums and supplies out here, but I found that many of them will have the words
"Friends" "Memories together" "Shared laughs" etc. as part of the design.
Anything of the sort...I do not buy. Why would I?

It seems that I am reminded constantly...on a daily basis...of how alone I am...

At work, when I walk to my desk every.*******.day. everyone has pictures of themselves with their friends...celebrating their graduations, vacations together etc. in their cubicles...
My walls are bare except for the few work papers that I'll stick on.
I bought a little plant for myself, and a cute toy pig in attempt to brighten up my mood...but no, I still feel cold.

That deep...sinking feeling in my heart is all I ever feel...

I hate to see pictures of people together...
Especially pictures of people my age, having fun...
Facebook and all those social networking sites are for "connecting" with others...
For me, I only feel more and more disconnected...
I couldn't stand it anymore, and deleted my FB account...

I hate to see people with their friends together...
I hate to see people call, text others...
My phone never rings.
When it does, it's a list of orders that I get from my family...

Spring is near and people will be out together at the movies...
Couples kissing and holding hands...
People going on road trips, camping together...
fresia it...
I love traveling, but I crave not to have to do it alone...again...
Even traveling groups, I don't fit in...
I can't seem to start or maintain a person's interest...
I just wish I had someone by my side...
We don't have to speak much, but please...just for once, I wish someone would want to be with me...

Today, I tried to keep myself busy...
I went out and had dinner by myself...
And everywhere, everyone had someone...
Laughing, talking...fresia them...

I don't even know why I bother?
I have tried and tried to connect with people, but I can't relate...
Even if I take an interest in befriending them, it's never returned...

Online friendships helped me cope before...
But even then, it's not enough for me...
I don't even feel connected online...
I've stopped going to the ALL chats for that reason...
All I have to speak of is my sadness...
I can't even joke anymore...
I just feel empty and that I'm stepping closer and closer to my breaking point...

It's usually the same people that come back and read my posts...
I can't change, and even if I do change...fate doesn't change with me...
I don't know how to help myself.

I'm tired of trying...
I think the best thing to do is to wait until I just finally snap...
 
Don't give in and allow depression to consume to the point where you can't take it anymore. I know the feeling all to well, because sometimes I just want to give up entirely and not try anymore. Online friendships can really be great if you allow them to be. I've ran into the right people online and they make my day so much better. They stay friends with me even after the depressive stupid talk I do.

Too many people try to think of online friendships as not the real world. They segregate the offline world and online world into 2 seperate categories. Such as the "real world" and the "online world". I used to think this way but now I think of both as the real world. It makes you appreciate online interactions much more if you look at it differently.

I do have one offline friend that I hang out with now. But I knew the feeling of being alone without anyone to hang out with for awhile though. I'm sorry, it really can be difficult. Facebook is a death trap for depression when you are feeling lonely. Since, you have to see people with others responding to each other all the time and having pictures of each other feeling great. I hate seeing pictures of couples together, even my best friend. In their pics hugging or holding each other so I can completely understand the frustration.

Try and stay away from facebook or any other form of social networking sites if you can, especially when you are feeling depressed.Although, when there are friends you talk to on the site , its kind of hard to stay away. I found at the time when I had no one to talk to, I would go to those sites. Comparing myself to my previous friends or other people and it does no good. It just makes you feel much worse. Until you can finally feel content with yourself and feel like you can be on those sites without feeling bad. It still makes me feel worse but I have learned not to let it effect me as much.

I can relate to only being able to talk about depressing things. That is all I do on this site practically all the time. I even do it with my online friends but I have been getting better. You just have to run into the right online people because they really can be a big help in one's life. Overtime these online friends have made me happier to the point where I can talk more about non depressing stuff. It just takes time, and can come naturally. Online friends can really help you for the real world and how you look at things even if it doesn't seem like it.

Keep trying to put yourself out there because I bet someone is bound to want to get to know you. I know its difficult but just try to hang on. I know it is probably difficult to trust my posts since I post a lot of depressing posts about myself. It's just a problem of mine since I always degrade myself. What I say about others is true and I am always optimistic for other people. So I hope you can believe what I say because I mean it. I'm sure nothing is meant to be perpetual as long as try to put ourselves out there and improve ourselves overtime. Although, like I said. It is easier said then done without anything to build upon but just keep trying. I don't have much or anything to build upon either with certain aspects of myself but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. I can understand the feeling because I'm struggling with it as well.
 
Its a little more complicated than appreciating an online friendship as much as a real world one. Its having the interaction with people whether it be in real life or online, and just not being able to connect with any of them. Its very frustrating, and trying is all that can be done and the trying has just taken a toll because its hard to keep trying. It hurts to have to keep trying and that's your only option. Its a very hollow feeling and very alienating.
 
Luna said:
I hate to see people with their friends together...
I hate to see people call, text others...
My phone never rings.
When it does, it's a list of orders that I get from my family...
My phone seldom rings either...
When it does, its the **** advertisements...altho sometimes ovid txts me...but he knows I hate txt talking, as everybody knows that.Those little square buttons, eww, I ******* hate txt talking, for the very simple fact that I usually don't get the msgs that I expect.
But I like IM stuff..:D
And I really don't enjoy watching a bunch of friends (esp among which I find my close friend!) hanging out together or couple holding hands walking along the stupid streets.
I see on msn space some of pics of friends looking all happy with big ******* smile on their faces. That's when I feel down for some reason.

well, keeping friends online isn't a very bad idea is it?
I know many wonderful ppl from ALL and they are, seriously, much more understanding than my friends in reality that usually can NOT relate to my feelings at all.
 
Luna said:
I'm tired of trying...
I think the best thing to do is to wait until I just finally snap...

Actaully, that makes sense to me.

Probably becuase i freaken snapped.

and for some reason I see everything different today.
I'm constantly being reminded or see couples with relationship
problems. They're miseriable as fresia.

And the people or friends I have today..well, they're fucken retarded too:p

all that honeysuckle , I used to think was very important. Well..it's all freaken overrated crap and retarded to me now.
Don't get me wrong. I long for that specail someone, a meaningful relationship, good times , good friends....but I just don't feel so **** desperate about it anymore.

It's like i crossed a threashold...whatever old ideas, beliefs, perceptions of life dosn't fit anymore. Reconstruction at the core of my being, kind of like molecues getting
alter after heat is applied. Once a threashold had been breached, it forever changed. I don't even have to try anymore. My old ideas or life was too painful...I can't even
go back to my old ways if i try. It's dosn't fit anymore. It's like vails or delusions had been lifted from me. I actaully feel well, today.
My old thoughts and ideas still pops into my awareness every so often but i don't resist it or fight it anymore (try)...it just gose through me...
 
You mention that you travel and it sounds like you have things going on in your life. I'm sorry you're not happy with your social life, but please don't forget about everything else. Get help if you can't see that silver lining.

Online friendships really aren't as satisfying as proximity friendships (I hate using the word 'real', like people online are somehow figments of my imagination), but they're not too bad. I'd love to hear more about the kind of traveling you do. I don't get out much, so I have to content myself with hearing about places other people go.
 
Im a bit younger than you are and if the information is correct you are 20 years old. So anyways im still in high school and i really have to say that I do get sad often, and lonely too because there is no one in my world that could understand me. Im still a computer freak so i play a lot of games, and i recently found a great game, and once i finished playing it i had a strong urge to tell someone, but there was no one to talk to. I have soo much things to share, so much things i discover and yet i have no place, should i say it that way, to just let it all out. It keeps on bubbleing inside and i just wanna explode, and just like you I also get sad a lit of watching other people pictures with friends it doesnt make me wanna die or anything like that i just get sad a lot.
When i walk around town i see a lot of young kids hanging out and just being friends, and it just pops to my mind "I wish i was one of them".
My entire life, (short or not) ive ben trying to prove myself to the world, trying to say HEY PEOPLE IM HERE I EXIST! but there was no great result. I really dont knoiw what to do anymore.

Of course i will not try to do something i might regret but still. I saw on the net that people are sad because they dont have a life partner, while im sad because i really dont have a friend.

But i have to tell you tho, i have 2 cats and a dog, and i have to say that really makes me feel better when they are all over me he he. So theres the advice, start with a pet and then see what happens lol

Im sorry if my reply got a bit too long, this is my first post on this page at all, and i have to tell you it really feels a lot easier after you share some taughts with someone ^^ tnx
 
this sometimes happens to me when i see couples. younger couples mostly. im almost 30 and i never experienced that young love feeling. i feel like if it takes too much longer i will never experience it.
 
same with me... facebook can be so depressing. I feel like I am on the outside in the dark and cold looking in on a warm scene inside. I don't even really have any online friends. My friends are all people I used to know from the past that I talk on msn once in a while with.
 
I like photography but only as an art form..holiday,birthday etc snaps become uninteresting..it's all ego anyhow "oo look at me and all the great things that i do." I would like a camera that takes pictures of things that never happen..
 
Ah... I got misty eyes up there, reading your post... ****... Anyway, I can relate to your situation and feelings up to a degree. I have never felt connected to anyone... I spent my elementary school being bullied, I spent it watching friends back away from me, fearing they will be the bullies' target as well if they were seen hanging out with me... I spent my highschool getting fatter, more inert, more lethargic, and more isolated, and nobody cared. My parents noticed nothing because I learned to maintain the façade of "nothing's wrong". I still maintain it... My current friends are... Sparse, and really sweet and everything but they are all either in great, long lasting relationships or so preoccupied with their own lives...

I wonder what's it like to know there's somebody out there who is dying to see you at the end of the day. I suppose it's great, I see it in my friends' eyes when they meet with their other halves after the college. My friends are... It's... It hurts to see them all happy and kissing and falling asleep in somebody's arms while watching the film... Everybody's saying to me that I will find someone, that it will happen when I least expect it. They've been saying it since my 18th birthday. Soon I will be 23 and they've stopped saying it. Have THEY lost all hope?

What REALLY annoys me is hearing "you'll find someone evetually" from a person who's been cuddling with her boyfriend on MY couch for the past two years...

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be a confession but it turned out that way... I hope you'll feel better or at least different soon. Until I ran into this forum I was nearly convinced I was the only """loser""" out there. Now I see there's so many of us and it doesn't make me feel better because I can't believe that in today's world, when there's so much people on the planet, it is possible to feel lonely... :(
 
Luna, i've had this exact feeling for most of my adult life.

Once social networking sites such as facebook started coming into the scene I avoided them because I could not bear to see the photos of the memories of others on display for all to see, to me it represented some sort of profound emptiness within my heart where my social anxieties and inability to connect with people had left me feeling as if I am missing out on living.

It was particularly bad for me when it came to love interests, seeing photos of everybody she had associated with over the years holding her and smiling at the exciting events she had been to dressed up all pretty and looking like a million dollars always left me feeling socially inadequate. I would fear learning more about people I had developed a fledgling relationship with due to the sheer despair I would feel, as if I am missing out on living, what could I possibly offer someone who has seemed to have done all this, etc.

Remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side, people rarely keep photos of the bad times. I ended up conquering these feelings, familiarity with the medium and an open mind to learning about the lives of other people (which is a whole lot more mundane than some of us give it credit for) is key. I try and approach learning about people with a sense of excitement nowadays :)
 
well got to toss my 2 cents in.

like some others, though school i was the target of bullies. however one day when i was 9 i learned to be violent and i was **** good at it. got to be known as one of the worst people to screw with cause I would tear someone up. thus became a target for the bully who wanted to be the "top dog billy bad ass" all tho they never won. i still remained a target eventually i got bored with the stupidity and quit school at 14. never looked back dont really regret it.

Had 1 g/f my whole life. yea she was great but she died when i was 19. spent my whole teen life with her if it wasnt for her id be a 28 year old virgin who had never experienced a kiss let alone a touch of a female.

had a few friends in my life. but most of them are now dead. the living ones well they are married or have someone and/or got kids (and like you I dont care to see others holding hands kissing ect. but I do tell them get a ******* room)

but being alone for most of my life, i have been able to do some cool honeysuckle.

had i not been alone all this time. i prob wouldnt know what i know today computers,websites,networking,ect,ect,ect

I also would not have hitchhiked across the nation (seen 48 of 50 states and seen **** near all of Canada)

I have learned Life is hell and it sure as fresia aint fair. and with my experiences with life I have learned to be very cold, some may say uncaring, maybe even mean. but what we become is what we are shown. hell i have seen the bad side of good and the good side of bad.

so even tho life has sucked ass, i have managed to do some cool things, alot of these things I would not have been able to do if i was like the "normals"
 
I hate it the most when I look at my birth date, or the mirror and notice I'm not getting any younger either with no pictures of my youth and friends, hurray for being able to act like I'm still 20 on the interweb.
 
I feel the same way...I don't even know why I bother having a facebook lol. I have a bunch of random friends I added on there, just from college social groups, but they're not actually my friends in real life. I've tried even making friends on facebook since I seem to be socially incapable, but it doesn't work.
 
Facebook is exactly what depressed the crap out of me today.

But now that Im thinking more about it, facebook and all this social networking crap is where people go and show off and create this facebook persona that is so far away from the real one.

I can tell you that on my facebook you will find many pictures of me and my few friends smiling and having a good time, me looking great/ happy, and getting posts from people that when we run into each other in real life we barely say hi and bye... its all fake.... I lead a very boring life and most of the pictures there are from few random occasions and the only reason why I seem so happy on facebook is because I never take a picture of when im feeling like crap and in my bed and post it!....

*hope you feel better*
*hug*
 

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