meeting gf/bf online... is it worth counting on? need advice

i just met someone over the internet. ive been talking to her and seen her pic and shes really cute... she lives around here and etc,,,

but i don't kno if she wants to "date" or just "hang out"
i dont know if we are actually compatible... we only talked online.

would it ruin things if i just straight up ask her if she has bf already or if shes serious or just flirting around


but im in my loneliest state of mind possible right now... i really need a girlfriend...

should i even try to meet her or just forget about it all together??


need advice! your past experiences with online dating! please!


im so fuckin lonely.

maybe probe her....

you know how it is..man. You had a GF before.

it's like putting your hands on her hips..if she dosn't push you way...
then you put your arms around waist..if she dosn't push you away and actaully rest her haed on your shoulders...
then you can try putting your hands on her ass

maybe just mention that you would like to meet her in person someday...don't ask her. Just mention it.
See how she response to that.

just go with the flow... meet up with her, don't have any expectations, and have fun. If you guys click in person... give it sometime, hang out and see where things lead to. When you are out, during conversation, you can ask her if she has a BF, etc.. but don't make it too pushy or overbearing.. just have fun. Think of it as meeting up with a new friend and see where it goes. Good luck

Just see how it goes. If you want to talk about something, it will usually present itself in someway. Don't force a topic into the conversation. and don't just say "Do you have a bf" or "I am crazy about you wanna go out". Use some guile. (Betting you already know but just thought I'd throw that out there to be sure)

Just go for it. What do you have to lose?

If she lives close enough to you that you can see her with some regularity, then by all means, at least try it out and see where it leads.

My various experiences meeting women online have all ranged from Moderately Disappointing to Purely Catastrophic.

But I've posted about all that before and the thought of regurgitating it to feast upon once more is a bit tiring. I can say I have yet to see the same girl more than once and rarely do they tell me why if I bother to ask them.


It never hurts to try. I'm still trying. I've got a coffee date tomorrow with a girl off craigslist. I think I know what'll happen, but sometimes life brings surprises. So I say go for it, especially if it's a 'first' for you, because a 'first' is always progress unless it's downright harmful or destructive. Online dating really works out for some people, and that could include you for all you know.

Well, I'd ask. No harm in asking. Or ask if she wants to go get something to eat or something. I won't comment on the "need" a girlfriend, because you don't "need" one. You want one. That desperation comes off, you know.

Okay... you could ask her, and know for certain. OR... you could say nothing and always wonder with regret.

I met a guy over the internet, met him in person, and then he became my boyfriend shortly thereafter.

We just had our two-year anniversary of being together in February.

SighX99 said:

i just met someone over the internet. ive been talking to her and seen her pic and shes really cute... she lives around here and etc,,,

but i don't kno if she wants to "date" or just "hang out"
i dont know if we are actually compatible... we only talked online.

would it ruin things if i just straight up ask her if she has bf already or if shes serious or just flirting around


but im in my loneliest state of mind possible right now... i really need a girlfriend...

should i even try to meet her or just forget about it all together??


need advice! your past experiences with online dating! please!


im so fuckin lonely.

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Im lonely as well, and have considered using online to meet a girl. However, last time I tried was back in the late 90s (remember Love @ AOL). This girl sent me her pics online, and she looked like a movie star. In person she ended up looking like a tv star... Mr. Ed to be specific.

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shells said:

I met a guy over the internet, met him in person, and then he became my boyfriend shortly thereafter.

We just had our two-year anniversary of being together in February.

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Thats awesome

I like some of Lonesome Crows ideas I am going to have to give the first two a try.

I am in a similar situation. I met a girl online who lives close to me. So I am right here struggling with you. So I am just being honest with her. I try and flirt with her, and she knows I like her. So all I can do is keep hanging out with her and flirting with her till she rejects me.

Until she rejects you? Well, that's not very good to think will happen... Seems to me, somewhere in your mind, you want her to reject you. Thoughts like that get you nowhere.

VanillaCreme said:

Until she rejects you? Well, that's not very good to think will happen... Seems to me, somewhere in your mind, you want her to reject you. Thoughts like that get you nowhere.

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Sorry that is my low self-esteem talking. I want to believe that I can form something with her. However, at the same time I don't know what I am doing. I want to show her that I want a relationship, with physicalities and all. However, at the same time I don't want her to think that is the only reason I am trying to meet up with her. I am just scared that I won't be able to find the right mix of interest and seduction to create a relationship.

Be wary of overthinking things, man.

Just go with the flow and enjoy being around her. There's no need to overanalyze everything. If you're having fun and she's having fun....then it will be alright.

You might consider talking to her and asking what she needs from a relationship. And then tell her what you need, sort of like negotiations between countries. It sounds sort of weird and cold....but honestly, if you clear that issue up right away, then the relationship will be on firm footing for a long time to come.

Trust me Badjedidude there is nothing I would love to do more than talk about relationship needs. However, I am not in a relationship with her yet. I would rather not smash the egg before it has a chance to hatch.

That's fine. Just keep it in mind, that's all.

Anyway, still....like I said, just enjoy your time with her and be sure to show your interest in her (pick her some flowers, leave notes/messages, etc etc)...and try not to be desperate about it. If she even smells a hint of desperation about you, she's gonna run.

Honestly...it's no biggie. I think you're moving along quite well, really.

@Badjedidude: Hmmm well then maybe things are over before they started. Because I told her about my other situation with my other female friend. How I want to start a new relationship and all that jazz.

It is funny, I get so many different answers for the questions I ask depending on where I ask them.

AFrozenSoul said:

VanillaCreme said:

Until she rejects you? Well, that's not very good to think will happen... Seems to me, somewhere in your mind, you want her to reject you. Thoughts like that get you nowhere.

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Sorry that is my low self-esteem talking. I want to believe that I can form something with her. However, at the same time I don't know what I am doing. I want to show her that I want a relationship, with physicalities and all. However, at the same time I don't want her to think that is the only reason I am trying to meet up with her. I am just scared that I won't be able to find the right mix of interest and seduction to create a relationship.

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Well, if that is the only reason why you want to meet with her, she'll probably sense it, or know. Being yourself goes a long way. Jedi is right, don't over think things. Over thinking tends to go into over doing things, and becoming a hassle to be around. This applies to many things in life, not just dating. Your mind is always going, so you are. And most of the effort just isn't needed for something so simple.

Just be yourself. She'll appreciate it more than if you were somehow putting on a facade just to "lure" her in, or seduce her, as you put it.

AFrozenSoul said:

Because I told her about my other situation with my other female friend. How I want to start a new relationship and all that jazz.

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Hmmmm not necessarily. It's good to let women know that you're looking for a relationship, even if you end up telling the girl that she's not the only one you're considering. This shows the woman that you're "IN PLAY" and that she needs to work a bit to get your attention. And that's never a bad thing.

By desperate, I just meant...don't get all nutso about her. Like hanging around her all the time, calling every 2 minutes, telling her you love her like a week into the relationship...things like that. But you don't strike me as the type of person that would do that, so you're fine, I think.

AFrozenSoul said:

It is funny, I get so many different answers for the questions I ask depending on where I ask them.

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Heh...well, really, everyone is going to have a different answer. I guess the best you can do is consider all the information and take from it what seems most relevant to your own situation. Because after all, only YOU can truly understand where you are and where you want to be.

I hope I helped a little bit.

VanillaCreme said:

Well, if that is the only reason why you want to meet with her, she'll probably sense it, or know. Being yourself goes a long way. Jedi is right, don't over think things. Over thinking tends to go into over doing things, and becoming a hassle to be around. This applies to many things in life, not just dating. Your mind is always going, so you are. And most of the effort just isn't needed for something so simple.

Just be yourself. She'll appreciate it more than if you were somehow putting on a facade just to "lure" her in, or seduce her, as you put it.

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How do I tell if she knows?

Badjedidude said:

Hmmmm not necessarily. It's good to let women know that you're looking for a relationship, even if you end up telling the girl that she's not the only one you're considering. This shows the woman that you're "IN PLAY" and that she needs to work a bit to get your attention. And that's never a bad thing.

By desperate, I just meant...don't get all nutso about her. Like hanging around her all the time, calling every 2 minutes, telling her you love her like a week into the relationship...things like that. But you don't strike me as the type of person that would do that, so you're fine, I think.

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Well I do try to chat with her whenever I am online and see her online. Actually today was like the first time she ever started an online conversation with me. I resist all my urges to try to be in contact with her. I give her space when I can. If she does not chat with me one day it is not the end of the world that kind of thing.

Badjedidude said:

Heh...well, really, everyone is going to have a different answer. I guess the best you can do is consider all the information and take from it what seems most relevant to your own situation. Because after all, only YOU can truly understand where you are and where you want to be.

I hope I helped a little bit.

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What I mean is I am getting two opposite sets of answers. On this forum everyone tells me to go with the flow and be myself. On another forum everyone tells me I need to grow a pair and get physical. I need to show her my physical interest now kind of stuff. It can be rather confusing

Your advice has given me ideas is what I will say. So yeah it has helped me.