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crowtching tiger

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Okay so idk where to start...
My gf recently cheated on me, but I believe it was all a mistake.

A few months ago, we weren't at a good point in our relationship. Her mother hated me and wouldn't allow us to be together, so I barely got to see her. She does have a history of cheating, but she never had any problems untill this since we've been together, and I know for a fact she LOVES ME. She started becoming friends with this one kid, and one night they were both at a party and she had never drank a lot before, and they ended up having sex. She didn't invite me to the party cause the night before I told her not to drink too much, and she thought that meant I wouldn't drink at all. I found out about what happened and broke up with her.

She cried every night that we weren't together, so I finally got back with her, thinking I'll give her a chance. We've been finding ways to hang out. Everything has been perfect... More than perfect, which is the problem. I don't feel like I can ever trust her again, and I already had trust issues. She talks about how we're going to be together forever and have kids, but idk if I want that after what happened. Which sucks because we are amazing together, she takes care of me like there's no tomorrow, and is really nice to me.


What should I think? What do you think?
 
what you should think? i dont know, but for me, i would be over. i mean i could get over my girl kissing with some1 else but having sex is too far for me. so if i was in your shoes it would be over, no matter how much it would hurt me. but then again thats what i would do...
 
well... if you don't mind me asking, how old are you guys??
i'm 22 and have been with the same person for 6 years. i cheated on him once while we were still dating. he'd left me to come to the uk, and we were trying this 'long distance' nonsense. i'm not proud i cheated, but eversince we got married 3 yrs ago, i havent been with another man. but i still think about other men and what my life could've been like if i'd just lived my life and gone out with more guys instead of settling down with him.
i know they say once a cheater always a cheater ... there is an element of truth in there though it might not apply to everyone. see, if i was with a guy who fulfilled me, i wouldn't even be thinking of other men. but i do.
and i apologise if this sounds harsh... but i think it is possible that her being so sweet and so nice to you, is just a projection of her inner guilt.
i'm not tryna say that she's gonna cheat again... i just tried to give you a different perspective on things, for whatever it counts? ;)
 
It isn't to clear to me what you mean by her having a "history of cheating". To me that sets off all kinds of alarms.

As mimi low mentions, an instance does doesn't mean that it is a lost cause but a "history of cheating" would sure get me concerned.
 
Eh, I'm not the one to talk... But, that trust was broken. And it's hard to fix it. Which is my problem now. I guess it's how you feel about her that determines what you want to do. You do want to be together because you love each other, and at the same time, you don't because there's no trust. That's the situation I'm in anyway. I think people underestimate how powerful trust really is.
 
People with a history of cheating don't stop easily. You're smart enough to know that if she's done it before, then she could easily do it again. And she's already done it to you twice. A person should have loyalty, integrity, and the wisdom to avoid putting themselves in a situation where a single lapse in judgment could lead them "astray." The surest way to judge someone is by their actions. Trust and faith are important, but if you want the cold hard truth, look beyond their words and see what they've actually done. If you're prepared to be with her knowing what she's done and knowing that she's capable of doing it again, then maybe it's worth a shot.
 
well..fresia me with a screw driver every women that ever cheated on me say they love me.
Hell, even one of them had my baby and married me.
She say "We" had committment challegnes..What she really ment was ..She has committment problems.

Any who it's all in the pass...
My ex-gf cheated on me once...but I've been cheated on before...so it was kind numbing or i was sort de-sentitized to all of that.
Yes she was drunk that night and she was kind of pissed off at me....
Disappointed I was...and things did go fine for a while afte that, as far as our love life was consern.
It was the fucken crazy drinking and addition routine that she was getting into that drove me fucken battie.

And personally...I 've been totally, totally shited face before. So whatever the fresia excuses women wanna make about being drunk and that's why it happend is really convient.

well..if you can't beat them...join them. I fresia who ever want. I'm single now..See how conveint and easy that is for me? :p
I'll show them !!!!.... who's the boss of me..lol
 
I would ditch her immediately, no offence but having sex with someone else is the worst form of cheating and is unacceptable, being drunk isnt an excuse in my eyes.

As you already say so yourself, the trust is broken, and it cannot be fixed no matter how much you want it because the fact that she cheated on you will always stay in the back of your head.

well..fresia me with a screw driver every women that ever cheated on me say they love me.
Hell, even one of them had my baby and married me.

Bwahahaha! Ive got a funny quote from someone i used to know who visited prostitutes quite frequently.

'I have never slept with the same whore more then once, except for my ex-wife':D

No offence to any married ladies out there ofcourse, just made me laugh hard when he first told me that.
 
Xerox said:
'I have never slept with the same whore more then once, except for my ex-wife':D

i didn't mine when my ex-wf being a whore...as lone as she was my whore. I was alright wit that...:D

I'm such as selfish dick...I even want all the whores to myself.lmao
 
I'm young, let's just say that. I really don't care that she SAYS loves me, because she PROVES it. And I don't take the drinking as a legit excuse either, cause i know there are limits you have... I think she just messed up hardcore. I think she's done cheating for good now, I think this because ever since I started dating her she's changed to be the perfect gf for me, then this all happened... But I'm just gonna ride it out. I wont be hurt if she does it again, trust me.
 
That's cool man...you love her a lot..it's okay.
As long as you know it's your chioce to be with her.
As long as you know you're not a victim, only a volunteer.

I still love my ex-wf lots...She's like no other whore. Oops, scratch that...other women..i mean. Other women...My bad !!!

There's only 2 things that you must accept in life.

1, that you will die.
2, that you must live until you die.

Everything else are chioces...
 
I don't know if I love her a lot lol. Maybe I'm just staying with her so I can hurt her in the end? Cause I know she's got lots of feelings for me. I don't really know what's going on to be honest haha.

And I'm sorry about your ex-wife man, but you definitely got what you need to do, down. Sounds like your moving on, and not really caring what people have to say. I like it. :p
 
I don't know if I love her a lot lol. Maybe I'm just staying with her so I can hurt her in the end? Cause I know she's got lots of feelings for me. I don't really know what's going on to be honest haha.

I know you're hurting right now, but don't hurt her because she hurt you. Take the higher road and move on.

She has a history of cheating, and she's cheated on you. I think you're setting yourself up by staying with her.

"Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me twice, shame on me."
 
i feel for you and your problems regarding your alleged loved one for mine is just the same but if other women are looking for another to satisfy them, mine does something else and leads to the same course of action. To leave her be. There are times when love spoken or acted isnt enough to make someone stay where they belong. That woman or man whichever the case maybe has issues that none of us can ever understand thats why all we can do is stand by the sidelines and watch in horror.

You can never change people and you can never mold people towards your perspective, you can inspire to change but even after change a part of it stays with the person you are trying to change or had changed. I should know mine has the same problem. 4 years we have been together, and currently I am in this dry country to work for twice the pay as I would normally earn back home she does it again. I called it quits I will just prepare for the future rather than mope in anger.

People can change, if they cant its up to you weather to say yes again or not. In any case your weather you commit again or say goodbye you will still have a problem.

Your decision, not anyone else.
 
Having sex with another person doesn't PROVE she loves you. In fact, I would say it shows she doesn't care who she opens her legs to, drunk or not. I also wouldn't take being drunk as an excuse, because not only should she have known better, she had a choice not to get so pissy drunk that she would do something irreversible, and she didn't want to do that. She made her own bed, now she has to lie in it.
 
Being drunk doesn't waive you of responsibility. Believe me, I've been plenty drunk plenty of times, and I've still had the clarity of mind to turn down sex with people I didn't want to have sex with. She was fully aware that she was cheating on you, and she was ok with that and went through with it.

You can't really prove that you love someone. Marriage doesn't prove that, having kids doesn't prove that. That's one of those things that only time and faithful commitment will 'prove'.

I think you're wasting your time with her, and setting yourself up to get hurt again. And next time she cheats on you, I'm sure she'll be more careful to make sure you don't find out, so you might not even know it's going on behind your back. As far as you know she could have been cheating on you steadily, and this was just the time you found out about it because she was drunk and got too sloppy to hide it.

She's taking you for a manipulatable fool... Sucks if you can't see that. You're wasting your time and humiliating yourself.
 
Mysis said:
Being drunk doesn't waive you of responsibility. Believe me, I've been plenty drunk plenty of times, and I've still had the clarity of mind to turn down sex with people I didn't want to have sex with. She was fully aware that she was cheating on you, and she was ok with that and went through with it.

I agree.

A person should have enough foresight to know that if they drink too much, it's obviously going to impair their judgment and motor skills. Someone who puts themselves into that kind of situation should have known of those consequences beforehand. If they didn't, then they probably had no business drinking anyway.
 
Thanks guys, she messed up and I think I'm gonna break up with her. Because what you guys said is right, she'd of been able to stop from having sex, so the fact that she kept going means she doesn't care. And honestly, I can do better... I just like her, and she's been fine besides this. But at any point ever in our relationship from here on she can cheat on me again, so it's not worth it. I don't trust her enough. I plan on ending it, even though it's gonna kill her, thanks guys.
 

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