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Mr. Sir
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SophiaGrace
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SocratesX said:
ew. Yeah i'm not. lol.
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Mr. Sir
Guest
SophiaGrace said:SocratesX said:
ew. Yeah i'm not. lol.
I know you're not but when I get evidence for it day after day after day after day, you start to think there's no other options.
Again with the generalisations?
Look - you recognise that blacks, gays and women have absolutely nothing to do with the way you feel. The way you feel is a consequence of your father and white men treating you like honeysuckle. But even though you know this, you still play along and try to conform to their expectations, which of course never works because they only see you as a target for their bullying. And when it doesn't work, you take it out on those who don't conform to your expectations - except they're not really your expectations at all, they're the expectations of the very people (white men) who have treated you like honeysuckle. So you're basically turning into one of them, a racist misogynistic bully, without being accepted by them and without any possibility of ever being comfortable with who you are. You're never going to be happy if you keep thinking like this - in fact, you're going get yourself into a hell of a lot of trouble. Being banned from this forum is the least of your problems.
Look - you recognise that blacks, gays and women have absolutely nothing to do with the way you feel. The way you feel is a consequence of your father and white men treating you like honeysuckle. But even though you know this, you still play along and try to conform to their expectations, which of course never works because they only see you as a target for their bullying. And when it doesn't work, you take it out on those who don't conform to your expectations - except they're not really your expectations at all, they're the expectations of the very people (white men) who have treated you like honeysuckle. So you're basically turning into one of them, a racist misogynistic bully, without being accepted by them and without any possibility of ever being comfortable with who you are. You're never going to be happy if you keep thinking like this - in fact, you're going get yourself into a hell of a lot of trouble. Being banned from this forum is the least of your problems.
M
Mr. Sir
Guest
AndrewM said:
What am I supposed to do?
The way I can deal with things is by getting strong (both physically and mentally), learning how to fight, dressing well and looking good, having politeness and good social skills, hard work ethic, and then using what is my god-given talent (which I guess is art, and an outside-the-box look at things) to succeed.
I didn't make any generalizations. It was pretty clear in this post that its actions that I'm frustrated with, not groups.
AndrewM said:
hey Andrew.
what you are saying is undoubtedly correct - but if you want to actually change something, and let your points be used by the recepient - a different tone might be more effective. especially since it seems to me like the OP is trying to apologize and explain, to the BEST OF THEIR ABILITY. and that is not a bad thing.
you do understand this better, and it seems a bit of a waste to have it worded in such a non helpful way.
kind regards,
dead.
SocratesX said:
The actions of black people, gays, and women? And really important things too, like speaking with a lisp or having tattoos? Don't kid yourself - you're getting into some seriously messed up territory here. Stop being defensive and listen to what we're trying to say to you.
SocratesX said:
Who told you that is the way to deal with things? The very people who have told you that you are worthless? All of those things are cosmetic right now - what you have to deal with is the pain and suffering that have been inflicted on you and which lies curled up inside of you. Unless you deal with that, dressing well and working hard (which sound great, unless they're code for "being white") aren't going to make a difference to how you're feeling. And blaming women for liking guys who aren't you - seriously man, that's going nothing to do with women or blacks. That's the "worm" speaking, the worthless loser you've internalised and who you then project onto minorities. Forget about other people, start to realise what's going on inside you.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
SocratesX said:
I don't think you've ever personally insulted me with your comments. It's just that attitude of generalizing things in such a negative way that rubs me wrong. I have nothing personal against you at all, so....apology accepted, at least on my part. Welcome back to the forum.
...but I'm still going to call you on it if you start honeysuckle. It's only fair.
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AndrewM said:
Can you see how starting a post as you did, in response to an apology, might get someone defensive?
I do feel that you do have good points but i also want to give SocratesX credit for having the courage to look at how he has been acting.
Progress, not perfection.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
I'll have to agree with Minus here.
Lighten up a bit, AndrewM.
Lighten up a bit, AndrewM.
I'm pretty stunned by these criticisms, especially given that SocratesX was banned for saying the very things he repeats in the above post. Patting him on the head and saying "apology accepted" isn't doing him any favours.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
AndrewM said:
And you're some great paragon of intellectual and emotional stability and wisdom? Come on. You obviously hold to the "tough love/rude awakening" view of psychology and personal development....but here's a hint: It doesn't work for everyone. In fact, it only works for a few.
You haven't been around here long enough to know that for SocratesX, THIS IS AN IMPROVEMENT. He's becoming more self-aware and conscious of his own thoughts and how his past and environment have made him who he is. That's a good, positive step in the right direction.
So just sit back and chill out a bit. Seriously.
AndrewM said:
Being an ******* isn't doing him any favors either. In fact, from HIS OWN ADMISSION, you being aggressive to him like you have only sets BACK his progress. So just let it go, alright?
AndrewM said:
Andrew, the pat on the head is for TRYING. and it is well deserved.
it's a step in the right direction.
and... the critisism to you is only of TONE, not CONTENT. everything you say is RIGHT, but is worded in a very negative manner. perhaps if you worded it differently you could share your knowledge, and teach the person instead of slamming him when he is, after all, trying to DO BETTER.
so be the good guy, and show him how - in a way that he can understand, or at least - not give him heat for TRYING.
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AndrewM said:
I am sorry Andrew, i did not mean any criticism of you. I am just saying that if SocratesX wants to try a less hate filled approach, then that is a great choice. I also noticed some of the things you did, but i am guessing that it is more of a process of abandoning that way of thinking, and hopefully what you read is just a start and not an end product.
Minus, Dead, Badjedidude:
I don't want this thread to become about me. All I'll say is that the tone of my response to SocratesX may have been harsh but it was constructive. My tone has nothing to do with "tough love" - it was a reaction to what SocratesX was saying. I think it's great that he can come back after being banned (a lot of people wouldn't) to seek out alternative opinions. That's why I gave him mine, as honestly as I could, and on the basis of a life experience which isn't all that different to his. I strongly disagree with his attitude towards minorities - sorry about that. It's not something I'm inclined to "chill out" about. But I didn't put him down personally. I told him to get real about the offensive nature of his comments, and not to pretend otherwise. How else is going to see that the things he says cross the line? Anyway, if I'm mistaken about this I think it's great that the people here are prepared to stand up for him. He knows this is a place where he'll be taken seriously.
For me personally, however, I would prefer it if I wasn't called an ******* just for expressing my opinion.
I don't want this thread to become about me. All I'll say is that the tone of my response to SocratesX may have been harsh but it was constructive. My tone has nothing to do with "tough love" - it was a reaction to what SocratesX was saying. I think it's great that he can come back after being banned (a lot of people wouldn't) to seek out alternative opinions. That's why I gave him mine, as honestly as I could, and on the basis of a life experience which isn't all that different to his. I strongly disagree with his attitude towards minorities - sorry about that. It's not something I'm inclined to "chill out" about. But I didn't put him down personally. I told him to get real about the offensive nature of his comments, and not to pretend otherwise. How else is going to see that the things he says cross the line? Anyway, if I'm mistaken about this I think it's great that the people here are prepared to stand up for him. He knows this is a place where he'll be taken seriously.
For me personally, however, I would prefer it if I wasn't called an ******* just for expressing my opinion.
AndrewM said:
thank you for saying that...
and neh, i think it is good that you feel so strongly about this. kinda admire.
and i sure hope noone is calling you an *******.
as to how he's going to see that his words cross lines - well. that's why we seem to have people here that can tell him better when he does - like you and the rest here.
as we've all said - just mellow the tone abit, with everything else we are in agreement.
Minus said:
and so will i
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Mr. Sir
Guest
Hey, still been reading comments.
OK, I have no idea what's up with AndrewM saying that I was told to "act white". WHAT?? How does people criticizing my social skills or lifestyle have anything to do with being instructed to act white? You can't "act white" just like you can't "act gay, or act black" or whatever. I try to act like a hardworking, strong-willed, high-moraled American man.
All I was saying is, I grew up constantly getting my social skills, style, and behavior critiqued like hell, and then I see people acting like either brutish thugs or effeminate pricks (It doesn't matter what race or sexual orientation they are) and people thinking its ACCEPTABLE, it enfuriates me to no end.
OK, I have no idea what's up with AndrewM saying that I was told to "act white". WHAT?? How does people criticizing my social skills or lifestyle have anything to do with being instructed to act white? You can't "act white" just like you can't "act gay, or act black" or whatever. I try to act like a hardworking, strong-willed, high-moraled American man.
All I was saying is, I grew up constantly getting my social skills, style, and behavior critiqued like hell, and then I see people acting like either brutish thugs or effeminate pricks (It doesn't matter what race or sexual orientation they are) and people thinking its ACCEPTABLE, it enfuriates me to no end.
