Hit between the teeth

I joined this site a few weeks ago, but since then I have been doing ok, but then last night loneliness came up and hit me between the teeth.

A few weeks ago my ex partner told mer she was seeing someone else. Although I was not suprised by this, she is a very socialble person who finds making friends easy, it still did hurt.

We seperated about a year ago but have remained really good friends. Back before christmas she went through a really tough time as a close relative passed away through cancer and also she has suffered over the years with depression and she was also going through a really bad depression crisis at the same time. Because we had been through so much in our marriage I was only too pleased to support her.

Now she has made a good recovery and has made a new life for herself and I find myelf really struggling. However, I had made some really positive moves, but then last night in a telephone conversation she mentioned that she could not call in on her way to a wedding next month becuase she would have somebody with her and suddenly my loneliness hit me between the teeth. I just did not what to do.

I just needed a friend to hug me but there was no one there

How do you cope in this situation?

When there is nobody there it's only natural to have to express our emotions our own way.... just let it out for as long as necessary. After that do what you need to do to try and dig yourself out of that hole. Immerse yourself in things you enjoy doing, try not to let it get to you.

Despite the struggle, as long as you acknowledge that your life is on the right track there should be no need to compare yourself to how she is doing. You have both moved on to different lives, and you appear to have been doing relatively fine up until this one moment that she called you. It would seem she hit an emotional trigger which snowballed into a whole heap of repressed emotions, sometimes this happens and you just have to compensate for the distorted information the best you can.

I wish i has some answer for you Goldenduck but i have never found that situation easy to deal with. You will eventually come out the other side. Not much help while you are going through it.