Meeting the expectation of others.

Hey, I'm Alan.
This sorta ties in with other topics but I feel this fits this thread the best.

I'm asian and I have naturally gravitated towards other asians in my school though I'm open to other races. Being an asian comes with its whole host of problems such as meeting your families expectations, but this is not what I want to talk about.

I have always felt inferior to my friends in terms of intelligence. They are all top 50 in my class of 800 and have gotten into great colleges. I have always felt that I must prove to them that I am able to keep up with them. ex. debates, chess, other strategy games, random information. As a result I have many hobbys that require using your brain. I'm starting to feel distant from them and I realize that friendship should not be based on proving yourself to other people. Although this type of friendship is more productive than other types. What should I do?

Thanks for your time and help.

In the last few years of high school I had a similar bunch of friends who were quite intelligent and also very competitive. It was a bit annoying to have to play games with them that you knew you would lose! My suggestion is to stop acting as if you have to prove anything to them. Stop playing games that you don't want to play, and suggest non-competitive activities (e.g. going to the movies) that you can do as a group. Also since you're all now going to college, you'll want to start thinking about what you want to do irrespective of the expectations of your friends. Genuine friends won't give up on you just because you decide to take a different path in life. But some of you may have less to do with each other - it's a normal part of growing up.

Being able to show humility when things get competitive between friends is an admirable trait.

idk how many people i've seen fly off the handle over things ranging from video games to intellectual debates, it's always petty and I hate it

I'm asian.
Ok..so I was one of the smartest kids in school.
mmm...ok. so i had algebra in middle school and computer programing as a freashman in HS
Games?? WTF!!!...Ok, i was a major gammer.

My challenge was a little bit different. I was bascailly the only fucken asian kid in school and I'm a male asian
not a fucken sweet china doll like my sisters that all the dudes fell in love with or wanna fresia.

And No..I don't own a fucken liquar store or a laundry mate.

I felt inforior in a different fucken way. fresia it, let just say it for what it is....DISCRIMINATIONS. It is what it is.
People simply hated me..just becuase and that was that.
I've been called every fucken name in the book, death threats, bodily harms, bullied and whatever the fresia else.
I sure the fucken didn't have any asain geek club I could join for sometype of shelter.

My fucken revenge to all of that was....to fresia all the hawt blond hair blue eyes babes
To rub it in even more....those **** crazy bitches asked me out.
fresia it......i should had just impregnanted all those bitches...Should of...could of, but didn't.
Fucken Tiger Woods...WTF?? I'm the original Thai bad boy. I invent that honeysuckle when he was still sucking on his mama's tities...

Now what kind of fucken robot are you going to turn into...with the fucken 80 hurs work week mentality???
It's call programing or conditioning...man. Answer to the man.lol
I did say I was smarter than your fucken average asain *******...didn't I???hahaaaaaa
Think **** it...think.lol

Lighten up man or you'll have a heart attack or go fucken crazy.
I'm a rebel without a cuase man...Just me and my six string.
I expect nothing from no one. I have no hope from anyone nor anything.
All that i ever loved was taken from me. She was a beautiuful rose in the myist of all of this living hell and hatred. It's all good. Nothing last forever. Not even my hatred.
There a begin, the middle and the end. My end time will come...so will your's.

Just live and enjoy your life. fresia what anybody else thinks or wants you to do. Do whatever you want to do. fresia it...if they can't take a joke.
Find your happiness.
Love yourself first and formost.
Love someone or something while you can.
Take the goods with the bads...it's all good.
Live it, breath it, all of it. It's life

I have a friend who is Asian and his family expects so much from him. I hate it. One day he couldn't take the pressure anymore and shut down, emotionally and mentally. He was always so hard on himself and compared his abilities to everyone else's. I adore him as a friend and it makes me upset that his family treats him the way they do.

For the most part, I agree with AndrewM:

Stop playing games that you don't want to play, and suggest non-competitive activities (e.g. going to the movies) that you can do as a group. Also since you're all now going to college, you'll want to start thinking about what you want to do irrespective of the expectations of your friends. Genuine friends won't give up on you just because you decide to take a different path in life. But some of you may have less to do with each other - it's a normal part of growing up.

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