A good deal for her?

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AFrozenSoul

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So my mom and sisters are on another "When are you going to get married" streak. Sadly I am unable to reason with them. I tell them they know better than to expect a female to not be repulsed by me. Sadly as the years go on this gets worse and worse. I think my mom realizing that I am her last chance at grandkids is starting to get to her. Plus I am bored at the moment so why not come up with some method to convince a female to marry me.

So I guess we should start off with the obvious. I would never expect a female to suffer through the horror of bedroom marital activities. So I would have a place where there are multiple rooms so she could have her own room. I would expect her to have a boyfriend/girlfriend so my only selfish request would be that she keeps that out of the place where we live. I would also make a point to bring a sleeping bag with us when we travel for the family in the event that we have to share a room. That way I can sleep on the floor. However, both of us would do our best to make sure that we do not have to pretend for the family by not seeing them unless we can get away from them quickly.

I guess I would not expect her to have a job either. Basically, I would have the job and after mandatory expenses, I would give her a percentage of my paycheck as an allowance. That way she could go out and enjoy life. If she wanted to get a job as well I would kindly ask her to contribute to the bills but if she didn't want to be charitable then I would not expect her too. In fact I might still give her and allowance even if she has a good paying job.

I also will make sure that our place will be big enough if she has kids. I mean I do not want her to have kids but I guess if she gets pregnant or something or has leftovers from previous relationships I would also support the kid. My only requirement would be that I am just a source of income and have nothing to do with her kids outside of making sure they have food and clothes and stuff.

My goal is to minimize the chance for divorce and make playing married, when necessary, tolerable. I am open to suggestions to help sweeten the deal. I would like to try and maintain some form of not being just a wallet for her. However, I know that might not be an option. Sadly I do not see myself dying anytime soon so I just want to have a plan in the chamber in the event that the siblings start playing match maker. I can set the lady aside and give her the deal. Then we can have the fake romance and get the marriage license, we will impulsively get married just so she does not have to kiss me or anything. Then I will be married and no one is the wiser. I am hoping that she will not divorce me either. That is another big portion of this I want divorce to not be something that happens.
 

Orka

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Where should I start? Do you even want to be married? Marriage is not a need. Traditonally it is a contract of love. If it is because of not wanting to grow old alone, other solutions are possible.
I can see people possibly being interested in this offer. I mean, as long as you have the same goals and intentions, nothing to lose.
Its just that the first sentence of the paragraphe started with an ' my mom and sisters' then finished the first paragraphe with 'I am also bored.'
Better be careful with those two factors. Because even if you have the best "offer" since they can be the exact reasons for a divorce that you are actively avoiding.
 

AFrozenSoul

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Where should I start? Do you even want to be married? Marriage is not a need. Traditonally it is a contract of love. If it is because of not wanting to grow old alone, other solutions are possible.
I can see people possibly being interested in this offer. I mean, as long as you have the same goals and intentions, nothing to lose.
Its just that the first sentence of the paragraphe started with an ' my mom and sisters' then finished the first paragraphe with 'I am also bored.'
Better be careful with those two factors. Because even if you have the best "offer" since they can be the exact reasons for a divorce that you are actively avoiding.
I do not want to get married, I really just want to be alone. This is just planning on my part, best to have a plan in place. I am also expecting to get divorcied as well. I was just trying to figure out if there was a way to lower that risk.
 

Orka

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No one has the perfect answer for the question of lowering the chance of divorce. If it was known, the divorce rate would be close to zero percent.

However, the best advice I can give is: If you dont want to divorce, dont get married in the first place. Entering marriage with divorce in mind is not really a good idea for both parties.

Hope my answer was kind of useful. If not well, it was just my opinion here...
 
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If someone doesn't want to be with you on their own you'll never convince them to do so for very long. I always thought if I was just super nice to my mail order bride she would learn to love me. Nope! I was simply a ticket to US citizenship and she tried to do as much damage to me as she could in the process. Luckily I protected myself so I got out of it without too much harm. But, it definitely damaged me mentally.
 

kaetic

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I don't see how you wouldn't end up divorced if you both don't really want to be in the marriage in the first place...

It might work for a little while, but you mentioned your mom wants grandkids. How do you plan on accomplishing that if you don't want to subject her to the "horror of bedroom marital activities"? Are you just trying to get them to stop pressuring you to get married? If so, Just tell them to stop. It's easier and cheaper than trying to keep a "fake" marriage going.

-edit-
Is there a possibility that you'll get forced into a marriage? The idea didn't occur to me, because most places require consent.
 

AFrozenSoul

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No one has the perfect answer for the question of lowering the chance of divorce. If it was known, the divorce rate would be close to zero percent.

However, the best advice I can give is: If you dont want to divorce, dont get married in the first place. Entering marriage with divorce in mind is not really a good idea for both parties.

Hope my answer was kind of useful. If not well, it was just my opinion here...
Yeah I know, I do not want to get married so I will keep to that path. Your answer is helpful
If someone doesn't want to be with you on their own you'll never convince them to do so for very long. I always thought if I was just super nice to my mail order bride she would learn to love me. Nope! I was simply a ticket to US citizenship and she tried to do as much damage to me as she could in the process. Luckily I protected myself so I got out of it without too much harm. But, it definitely damaged me mentally.
I figured that US Citizenship would be the main way to get them. I just want to make sure that she sticks around once it is a official
I don't see how you wouldn't end up divorced if you both don't really want to be in the marriage in the first place...

It might work for a little while, but you mentioned your mom wants grandkids. How do you plan on accomplishing that if you don't want to subject her to the "horror of bedroom marital activities"? Are you just trying to get them to stop pressuring you to get married? If so, Just tell them to stop. It's easier and cheaper than trying to keep a "fake" marriage going.

-edit-
Is there a possibility that you'll get forced into a marriage? The idea didn't occur to me, because most places require consent.
Basically I want her to be a roommate. We would just be married in the legal sense. I would not expect her to do anything other than say we are married.
 

TheRealCallie

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Why exactly do you have to get married? Lots of people don't get married. You would be legalizing something that could potentially turn bad for both of you so you can get your family off your back? Seems a little drastic when you don't have to. And getting someone from another country so they can get status? That seems a bad idea all around, not to mention dangerous.

Personally, I think you just need to tell your family to fuck off about it and/or stop letting it bother you so much.
 

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I think my mom realizing that I am her last chance at grandkids is starting to get to her.

If you do make the arrangement it sounds like you will then be pushed to have kids, which isn't covered in your plans.
 

Melli12

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It all sounds reasonable, but isn't the sacrifice just too big?! I mean, it's a decision, that changes your entire life. And all that just for the sake of others, their wishes and needs. Sounds very traditional and reminds me of afghan or arab families.
What are your wishes then. Having a companion sort of, but not that close?
And no family pressure with fitting in.
What means love to you?
 

AFrozenSoul

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If you do make the arrangement it sounds like you will then be pushed to have kids, which isn't covered in your plans.
Nah that one is easy. I will tell them that is their fault since it is gross an immature for me to marry someone who could be young enough to be my daughter.
It all sounds reasonable, but isn't the sacrifice just too big?! I mean, it's a decision, that changes your entire life. And all that just for the sake of others, their wishes and needs. Sounds very traditional and reminds me of afghan or arab families.
What are your wishes then. Having a companion sort of, but not that close?
And no family pressure with fitting in.
What means love to you?
Well I do not value my life and time all that much. I figure if I can fit my stuff into a basement apartment I should be fine. Personally I just want to be alone. If I could afford it I would live in some secluded area and get everything delivered. However, I am not wealthy enough for that.
 

kaetic

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Nah that one is easy. I will tell them that is their fault since it is gross an immature for me to marry someone who could be young enough to be my daughter.

Well I do not value my life and time all that much. I figure if I can fit my stuff into a basement apartment I should be fine. Personally I just want to be alone. If I could afford it I would live in some secluded area and get everything delivered. However, I am not wealthy enough for that.

... Are you 36?... That's what your profile says... You know 36 year olds can have kids....

How are you wealthy enough to basically pay someone to pretend to be your wife(well legally she would be) but you can't afford to just say "I don't want to get married" and live on your own?

I understand thinking through Dumbass plans for shits and giggles. Like I wondered how to fake my death at one point... But hopefully you don't actually follow through. You'll needlessly complicate your own and someone else's life out of what sounds like an inability to stand up for yourself.

I thought you lived in some country where the marriage laws are weird... But you live in the United States. You don't have to get married, if you don't want to.
 

CenotaphGirl

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If someone doesn't want to be with you on their own you'll never convince them to do so for very long. I always thought if I was just super nice to my mail order bride she would learn to love me. Nope! I was simply a ticket to US citizenship and she tried to do as much damage to me as she could in the process. Luckily I protected myself so I got out of it without too much harm. But, it definitely damaged me mentally.

Oh my Finished, I hate this, gives a bad name for the rest of us mail order brides, okay okay I won't play as I hate how much she did to you just to get citizenship. I totally agree with you though, sometimes there is no quick fix to love.

This is interesting though as... I ask my brother everyday when is he gonna get married, I just wanna wear a pretty dress, last thing I wanna do is put awful pressure on him, so interesting to hear this perspective.
 

AFrozenSoul

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... Are you 36?... That's what your profile says... You know 36 year olds can have kids....

How are you wealthy enough to basically pay someone to pretend to be your wife(well legally she would be) but you can't afford to just say "I don't want to get married" and live on your own?

I understand thinking through Dumbass plans for shits and giggles. Like I wondered how to fake my death at one point... But hopefully you don't actually follow through. You'll needlessly complicate your own and someone else's life out of what sounds like an inability to stand up for yourself.

I thought you lived in some country where the marriage laws are weird... But you live in the United States. You don't have to get married, if you don't want to.
True, but as females pass the age of 35 it gets exponentially harder for them to get pregnant. Not impossible, but nearly impossible especially if she does not have any previous kids. Just how human biology works.

Well getting married I get some tax breaks and if I have a house that I could afford by myself it would not be to hard to give her a room.

True the laws in the US are simple. We do not have anything like divorce courts here. They are just sentencings for the sin of being born male 🙃
Oh my Finished, I hate this, gives a bad name for the rest of us mail order brides, okay okay I won't play as I hate how much she did to you just to get citizenship. I totally agree with you though, sometimes there is no quick fix to love.

This is interesting though as... I ask my brother everyday when is he gonna get married, I just wanna wear a pretty dress, last thing I wanna do is put awful pressure on him, so interesting to hear this perspective.
Well if you let your brother know that you want an excuse to buy a new pretty dress. However, people get weird as they age. It is hard to tell when someone is just teasing me especially when the more recently married couple is not being decisive on kids.
 

CenotaphGirl

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True, but as females pass the age of 35 it gets exponentially harder for them to get pregnant. Not impossible, but nearly impossible especially if she does not have any previous kids. Just how human biology works.

Well getting married I get some tax breaks and if I have a house that I could afford by myself it would not be to hard to give her a room.

True the laws in the US are simple. We do not have anything like divorce courts here. They are just sentencings for the sin of being born male 🙃

Well if you let your brother know that you want an excuse to buy a new pretty dress. However, people get weird as they age. It is hard to tell when someone is just teasing me especially when the more recently married couple is not being decisive on kids.
Literally, honestly, I'm like excited for him to find someone that makes him happy, that I approve of lol I dont usually appreciate his choice in women... because they are bloody awful lol but.. him being happy and me wearing a pretty dress are the priority.

I think thats the weirdest thing, some people will have kids and be like, oh no... marriage blah blah lol and some people will get married and be like oh no... kids, idk, I find it so confusing why everyone seems so anti have kids lately.
 

laura.leuci

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I do not want to get married, I really just want to be alone. This is just planning on my part, best to have a plan in place. I am also expecting to get divorcied as well. I was just trying to figure out if there was a way to lower that risk.
I am 29 and single and i would love partnership . Marriage Is another thing . I don't think i want, Need that
 

AFrozenSoul

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Literally, honestly, I'm like excited for him to find someone that makes him happy, that I approve of lol I dont usually appreciate his choice in women... because they are bloody awful lol but.. him being happy and me wearing a pretty dress are the priority.

I think thats the weirdest thing, some people will have kids and be like, oh no... marriage blah blah lol and some people will get married and be like oh no... kids, idk, I find it so confusing why everyone seems so anti have kids lately.
Well, hate to say it but, most males choose females like their mothers or sisters so that is something to think about.

As for people not having kids. Females have the babies and females know that time off for being a new mother cuts into the bottom line of your career. So most opt to not do it despite the fact that females have a limited time to have kids.

I am 29 and single and i would love partnership . Marriage Is another thing . I don't think i want, Need that
Well you have to watch out if you have a partner for too long the government just says your married in most of the world
 

CenotaphGirl

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Well, hate to say it but, most males choose females like their mothers or sisters so that is something to think about.

As for people not having kids. Females have the babies and females know that time off for being a new mother cuts into the bottom line of your career. So most opt to not do it despite the fact that females have a limited time to have kids.


Well you have to watch out if you have a partner for too long the government just says your married in most of the world
Well if she's like my mum or me he'll be lucky, I look after my brother and my mum... uhh... the rest of us mean nothing compared to my bro lool. My brother seems to go towards lesbians that have no interest in him and women with no morals sadly, so... not sure what's wrong with him. It's like he's broken or something.

Men dont want kids anymore either though, people say things like, life is over, and soo much stuff, just seems so sad.
 

ardour

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At 36 you have, in theory, time to find someone in their late 20s, have kids and continue the family line. Normie guys in their 30s do it all the time.

Not sure but it sounds like you might be have a trolley time here though. No one outside of the homeless would accept this deal of yours.
 
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