A social outsider by birth

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Sep 19, 2021
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Location
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Or so it seems. Hi, just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Andrea, I'm pushing 60 and have always had issues with people, making friends and maintaining relationships. I was born into an unhealthy marriage, my parents constantly fought and our father couldn't be bothered with being a husband or a dad, they divorced when I was 5 and my mother morphed into an angry violent bully. I never wanted to live a domestic life as a result.

Yes, I am lonely - some days are worse than others - but it beats being with people that are indifferent to my presence.

Oh, I like music, movies, art, books, ice hockey and cats. Dogs too. lol

Glad to be with good company.
 
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Greetings. Have you read a lot growing up, to have book friends? I have done that.
 
Greetings. Have you read a lot growing up, to have book friends? I have done that.
Hi, sadly no, I didn't read as much as I should have. My parents were abusive regarding intelligence and treated me like I would just never "get" the world around me, I questioned my own intellect. I was too unconfident to read Tolkien and didn't get around to it until the film series in my forties... I would have loved them a kid. There's so much I missed out on.
 
My parents were abusive regarding intelligence and treated me like I would just never "get" the world around me, I questioned my own intellect.
Same here. I was convinced I was inferior and stupid, and my confidence was so damaged I had a notion that I wasn't important enough to get help if I was bleeding on the side of the road. It's like everyone knew how worthless I was.

From my perspective it seemed everyone knew how to do what they did. I felt I was missing something that everyone else was born with. I was just me and of no particular concern to anyone.

My parents blamed me for being who they made me.

Well, now that I got that out of my system, welcome to a lonely life. :)
 
Same here. I was convinced I was inferior and stupid, and my confidence was so damaged I had a notion that I wasn't important enough to get help if I was bleeding on the side of the road. It's like everyone knew how worthless I was.

From my perspective it seemed everyone knew how to do what they did. I felt I was missing something that everyone else was born with. I was just me and of no particular concern to anyone.

My parents blamed me for being who they made me.

Well, now that I got that out of my system, welcome to a lonely life. :)
Thank you JJW! :)
 
Or so it seems. Hi, just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Andrea, I'm pushing 60 and have always had issues with people, making friends and maintaining relationships. I was born into an unhealthy marriage, my parents constantly fought and our father couldn't be bothered with being a husband or a dad, they divorced when I was 5 and my mother morphed into an angry violent bully. I never wanted to live a domestic life as a result.

Yes, I am lonely - some days are worse than others - but it beats being with people that are indifferent to my presence.

Oh, I like music, movies, art, books, ice hockey and cats. Dogs too. lol

Glad to be with good company.
Hello Andrea. Nice name! I can relate to what you said about being lonely; very well put. I’m new here same as you. Sounds like there might be other similarities too :)
Seb
 
The more I learned I should be the way I am, I tried to avoid ppl were misled the way I am.
If I said I was 60 I showed an actual profile picture I was last week...

The loneliness I´m enduring is MY FAULT, my own mistake (no others).

I won´t say it´s "their" fault: I´m an unachiever.

I´m NOT what they think I should be.
 
Why is it important that you be what they think you should? Most people have unrealistic perspectives. Isn't it logical to be what you think you should be?
I could be also wrong my "own" way, but I lead my own thing, as I could: Unrealistic or not.
 
Hello Andrea,

welcome to the forum. <3

I just thought, that negative self-beliefs can be so powerful and hard to change.
Did you ever try to do something you thought you can't, f.e. reading a Tolkien book?
I hope, that this forum may help you to feel less lonely.
 

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