Adopting a party / carefree mentality?

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Pheenix

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Alright, I've been told that I generally talk too abstractly, and this will be abstract, so bear with me. I apologize if I end up just wasting bandwidth with something incomprehensible.

Here's the thing: I can go to a party. It's not that hard to mimic a partygoer and then join in yourself. But I was wondering, do you guys think its possible to adopt a party mentality to oneself? Not just doing what the others do, but getting to enjoy it like others do. Getting that... flow in you such that maybe you will be the one to initialize some weird drinking game or wacky episode involving a guy in a horse-costume and a bat. Again, not mimicking party-goers, but like, getting their shtick.

The question is summarized thusly: Do you think that one is either born with that kind of tendency (Its a good thing to look at parties, but you could generally just call it "being carefree"), or do you think that, if one can't kick loose and go crazy at parties, that there must be some underlying neurosis or flaw?


Personally, I'm just having trouble behaving like a youngster. Getting drunk, crashing in some guys couch, forgetting your keys but not really caring about it... these are not things I despise, I can just never be so reckless myself, and I am fine if its natural, but I want to fix it if its some sort of flaw with me.
I am currently getting into the Buddhist concept of "going with the flow" and letting life take you where it wants, whether somewhere you perceive as good or bad. But I don't know if that practice will extend to what I described above. At least, I must get pretty good at it if it should end making me a naturally carefree soul like that.
 
You should act as you are and find people who AFFIRM your identity, rather than LOSE your identity in order to fit in. You will not find any lasting happiness in losing who you are. I find parties to be idiotic, then and now. Mental retardation is to be partaken of in small quantities, if at all, and to be sympathized and pited, not celebrated.
 
But see, what if it is latent within me to party. What if its a completely natural thing that some of us just lose or block out along the way? Well that's what I'm trying to find out. If it is NATURAL to enjoy partying, then I want to dig within myself and find out where I left that shard. If, however, it is not, and it is more akin to a fad, then I will be proud of just going when everyone else are, and talking to a select few.

I don't see a big problem with confined mental retardation :p It seems to be the extent of how humans know to get jolly :p
 
Well, if it is your identity to be a deranged party animal, then by all means, enjoy losing your pants :p

Do what thou wilt, said Crowley.
 
Right into the corner gutter, thou shalt, as written by the hands of that cocaine fiend Crowley. And so he died alone, penniless and abandoned by all, his last words?

"Sometimes I hate myself."
 
You should be yourself, the meaning of partying is to be yourself, relax and have a lot of fun. If you don't feel like doing things that other people do during those partys , maybe you're hanging with the wrong crowd.
 
Being a party person doesn't mean you need to be the biggest retard in the room. You can go to a party, let loose, have fun, and not end up sleeping with your face on the toilet seat or wake up to find yourself in the bushes out back. If you find that you go to a party and can't seem to get into the idiocy, then maybe that's not who you're meant to be. I go to parties and watch is disgust, talk to very few people, and usually end up sitting in the same spot the entire time. I am NOT a party-goer. But, if you enjoy it enough as is, why do you need anything more?
 
I don't mean that I want to pass out in a toilet, I just want to be able to make split second decisions and react to the spontaneity of parties without too much emotional stress. Y'know, it's that whole "taking things in the party as they come, and being open" thing I'm trying to nail.

Thanks for your opinions. There probably aren't anyone who can fully prove whether or not partying is a natural thing. I guess it's not really for me. But I'll keep an open mind. Try it out a little extra once in a while.
 
You don't have to act like a retard to have fun. If you don't enjoy going out drinking you are probably either a little too uptight, you haven't had any positive experiences with it yet (girls, great nights blalba) or its just not for you I guess. It happens. Drink some (not too much) and just think "aw fresia it lets just go with it all" and get a "yes" mentality when you are out. Just think "YES! FUN!". You shouldn't lose your mind and fresia up horribly, just don't..... Well I guess you know all this, but its just the execution of it all. I think you know it yourself. If you don't seem to get it, keep trying. If you are just not having fun when you are out, drop it, do something else.
 
Yeah, I can party, I just wanted to see if I could adopt the mentality first hand. It's really not just constricted to parties, it's just highlighted there. I'm mostly just looking for that carelessness many young people have, whether at home or out drinking. I'm too... responsible :p Too be honest, I consider myself healthy, I just need to put in a little extra to learn to be able to "switch on" a recklessness, since I am so responsible by default.

Y'know what, I think you're right. Something as simple as saying "yes!" to any possibility or weird idea I get might just be enough. Interesting. Simpler than I was expecting.


But as I said, I think I'm healthy and normal, I just need to be able to switch it off to fit in. If you consider that "being something else but yourself" then fine, but I am not in the mood to discuss that again. I should perhaps start a thread on why I think this untrue.
 
I think the party/ carefree mentality is influenced mostly by your overall confidence, experiences and influences that helped you shape your personality when you were younger.

I can go to a bar but I can't bring myself etc to dance in public or really ever "let go".

I've tried to "switch on" a carefree type of attitude - but it felt too alien and unnatural me which defeats the purpose itself. :p

Again, I think it's more a part of a personality trait...just like some people are more talkative and others are more quiet.
I think what can be worked on is the level of comfort in that type of situation but we can't control how we feel or think - we can control how we react though.

This isn't fact but just my opinion.
 
Thanks for the input. I think maybe you can work around it, but I think you are right that in essence, it's probably a deep personality trait.
 
I am having the same problem myself. I want to be care-free (I don't understand how other 15 year-olds like myself are so care-free, I feel I'm the only one on the **** planet!). Sure I can try my best to act care-free, but you don't really "feel it". I guess you just have to do it over and over again until it becomes a habit.
 
Only difference for me is that I've never been to a party, so I can't offer any advice there :D.

I hope to get invited to one though, when I move. I would be extremely happy and I would finally feel "alive, in, full" etc.
 
The good thing is, people in parties are at their peek mood, and they love to introduce new people to parties and dancing and what have you.
The problem is that there is also a pretty large subculture of people doing the opposite, gauging you by your confidence when the music's on. You just gotta try to tell which one you're hanging with.
 
Pheenix said:
The good thing is, people in parties are at their peek mood, and they love to introduce new people to parties and dancing and what have you.
The problem is that there is also a pretty large subculture of people doing the opposite, gauging you by your confidence when the music's on. You just gotta try to tell which one you're hanging with.

True

 
Hmm... Thanks. I would be able to fake it, I guess, but there is no need for that. As long as I am not party-pooping, I'll let others lead the way.

It's just so weird, right, because there is a part of me that feels like it could be like that. I guess it's just a mindtrap of some kind. An amalgamation of personality traits that your fantasy visualizes in the wrong way. If that didn't sound too weird.
 

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