Alcohol Problems....

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CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
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So, I used to have an alcohol problem, I'd drink roughly every single day through out the day.
Thing is, I was young and im truly not sure if it was teen-age dream or if I really had a problem.
I loved going out, me and my friends would make up fake names, ages and accents for each other... it was like an escape.
I'd get too drunk to keep up with any of it, if they said they didn't want anymore alcohol, I'd "accidentally" order a pitcher to "share" and just drink the whole thing myself.
Took me a very long time to admit it, and I haven't really missed it until now...
My friends have missed me, organised this bottomless brunch... with bottomless cocktails... for the alcohol queen.
I hung up my crown a couple of years ago but truthfully... I'm scared what one drink will do, where it leads, what it means...
If I drink heavily again I won't be the person i'm working towards, if I don't drink...I'll just never know if I really have a problem.
Just wondering if anyone else understands this feeling of not being sure, of over thinking?
 
CenotaphGirl said:
So, I used to have an alcohol problem, I'd drink roughly every single day through out the day.
Thing is, I was young and im truly not sure if it was teen-age dream or if I really had a problem.
I loved going out, me and my friends would make up fake names, ages and accents for each other... it was like an escape.
I'd get too drunk to keep up with any of it, if they said they didn't want anymore alcohol, I'd "accidentally" order a pitcher to "share" and just drink the whole thing myself.
Took me a very long time to admit it, and I haven't really missed it until now...
My friends have missed me, organised this bottomless brunch... with bottomless cocktails... for the alcohol queen.
I hung up my crown a couple of years ago but truthfully... I'm scared what one drink will do, where it leads, what it means...
If I drink heavily again I won't be the person i'm working towards, if I don't drink...I'll just never know if I really have a problem.
Just wondering if anyone else understands this feeling of not being sure, of over thinking?
Click to expand...
Absolutely do not do it. You will have 1 drink, and feel fine. 2 drinks the next time, and so on, until the balance goes out of kilter. And yes, you could be that rare unicorn who can cope with just 1 or 2. But why risk discovering that you are not a unicorn.
 
Colster said:
Absolutely do not do it. You will have 1 drink, and feel fine. 2 drinks the next time, and so on, until the balance goes out of kilter. And yes, you could be that rare unicorn who can cope with just 1 or 2. But why risk discovering that you are not a unicorn.
Click to expand...
Ugh I feel some part of me knows I cant have a single drop again, another part is saying... "you'll be fine". you know? I have been tempted, I've added a few bottles of this and that for my "home bar".. for the visitors not myself.. on my weekly shop... but I just was scared to order them. Maybe I need a doctor to diagnose me, I'm not sure if that will have complications on my life later on though.
 
Most people can drink moderately, but it doesn't sound like you're one of them. I don't have an alcoholic predisposition but that didn't stop me from wasting years partaking in a circle of heavy drinkers.

It ages you! You'll look 40 at 30. Think of it this way and I guarantee you won't want to.
 
Ha! ha! I'm glad you got to enjoy yourself in your teens. I still REALLY want to be able to control alcohol. I would love to just have three beers and then stop. But, I tried to control my drinking and failed many times. I had to completely cut alcohol out of my life period. It was REALLY difficult to stop drinking. You are still young. If it wasn't that hard to stop go ahead and try to control it again. I doubt you will succeed. But, if it was hard to stop drinking before then don't start drinking again.

I would drink a 24 pack (suitcase) of beer in one sitting on a regular basis. But, that wasn't enough. It was never enough. I would start to loose control at about 3 beers. After six all control was gone.
 
The mother of my daughter was and still is an alcoholic. She wasn't obviously drunk every day, although retrospectively, she should never have driven at any point in time. Drink was used as an excuse for everything. She couldn't be around even her own friends, without drink, lots and lots of drink. And anyone else, even more drink. But the drink was also used to punish me.

Periodically, she would claim to have stopped. Then it would just be the 1 drink, a special occasion, maybe a bad day at work. By the end of the week, rolling drunk, paranoid, and dangerous.

She's wandered the streets in nothing but knickers. Turned her car over in a central reservation. Destroyed countless things. And, possibly most important, is currently lying in a hospice, barely alive and in an almost vegetative state. Alcohol abuse having caused both swelling and bleeding to the brain, leading to sepsis.

I guarantee, whatever you think about your behaviour is like when drunk, is not even half of trouble left behind by it.

I lost 5.5 years to alcohol, via the ex. My daughter has pretty much lost her mum. Certainly had the innocence of youth, robbed from her, by alcohol.

Just don't do it.
 
ardour said:
Most people can drink moderately, but it doesn't sound like you're one of them. I don't have an alcoholic predisposition but that didn't stop me from wasting years partaking in a circle of heavy drinkers.

It ages you! You'll look 40 at 30. Think of it this way and I guarantee you won't want to.
Click to expand...
Truthfully I don't know if I can drink moderately, I never tried. I started a little drinking again after my dad died it was the advice from my mother to have a glass of wine... before I knew it, there was bottles of wine in my bin (maybe a case of 12 +1 I got prior to getting the case)... I thought, huh.. maybe I should stop, I did stop with no real agony, I dont know what that means... if it means when I drink I dont know when to stop or if I truly have a problem? I dont know... maybe it's not worth finding out.

Oh god, oh no no no, looking old isn't an option for me lol Not until im 50.
 
Incidentally, I am not anti alcohol, some people seem to have an endless appetite for it, and without obvious consequences. There's been numerous drunken parties that I don't quite remember.
 
Finished said:
Ha! ha! I'm glad you got to enjoy yourself in your teens. I still REALLY want to be able to control alcohol. I would love to just have three beers and then stop. But, I tried to control my drinking and failed many times. I had to completely cut alcohol out of my life period. It was REALLY difficult to stop drinking. You are still young. If it wasn't that hard to stop go ahead and try to control it again. I doubt you will succeed. But, if it was hard to stop drinking before then don't start drinking again.

I would drink a 24 pack (suitcase) of beer in one sitting on a regular basis. But, that wasn't enough. It was never enough. I would start to loose control at about 3 beers. After six all control was gone.
Click to expand...
Yeah party animal!! I'd flash back there in an instant if you built me a time machine. Omg I'm sorry Finished, that sounds so difficult. It's never been hard for me to stop, but im like that with anything I consume, I could stop eating in an instant if I had to lose weight, im disciplined that way.
 
Colster said:
The mother of my daughter was and still is an alcoholic. She wasn't obviously drunk every day, although retrospectively, she should never have driven at any point in time. Drink was used as an excuse for everything. She couldn't be around even her own friends, without drink, lots and lots of drink. And anyone else, even more drink. But the drink was also used to punish me.

Periodically, she would claim to have stopped. Then it would just be the 1 drink, a special occasion, maybe a bad day at work. By the end of the week, rolling drunk, paranoid, and dangerous.

She's wandered the streets in nothing but knickers. Turned her car over in a central reservation. Destroyed countless things. And, possibly most important, is currently lying in a hospice, barely alive and in an almost vegetative state. Alcohol abuse having caused both swelling and bleeding to the brain, leading to sepsis.

I guarantee, whatever you think about your behaviour is like when drunk, is not even half of trouble left behind by it.

I lost 5.5 years to alcohol, via the ex. My daughter has pretty much lost her mum. Certainly had the innocence of youth, robbed from her, by alcohol.

Just don't do it.
Click to expand...
Awh im so sorry, this is even painful to read, see I dont think im an alcoholic as such but I can see how easy it would be for me to become one, if that makes sense.
 
CenotaphGirl said:
Ugh I feel some part of me knows I cant have a single drop again, another part is saying... "you'll be fine". you know? I have been tempted, I've added a few bottles of this and that for my "home bar".. for the visitors not myself.. on my weekly shop... but I just was scared to order them. Maybe I need a doctor to diagnose me, I'm not sure if that will have complications on my life later on though.
Click to expand...
Don't be tempted. It's like smoking or any addiction - once you've conquered it, you need to stay the hell away from it. There's no, "Oh, I'll just have a quick puff" or "Meh - it's just one drink." Before you know it, you'll be back to your old ways. I was a smoker for over 20 years - my hubby and I quit cold turkey when our son was about 3 years old. Haven't touched a cigarette since then. And I know that despite thinking that cigarettes are disgusting, they stink, they're SO bad for your health - if I was to buy a pack now after quitting for 10 years, I'd be hooked again. That's all it takes.

Trust yourself and your instincts and just stay away.
 
ringwood said:
Don't be tempted. It's like smoking or any addiction - once you've conquered it, you need to stay the hell away from it. There's no, "Oh, I'll just have a quick puff" or "Meh - it's just one drink." Before you know it, you'll be back to your old ways. I was a smoker for over 20 years - my hubby and I quit cold turkey when our son was about 3 years old. Haven't touched a cigarette since then. And I know that despite thinking that cigarettes are disgusting, they stink, they're SO bad for your health - if I was to buy a pack now after quitting for 10 years, I'd be hooked again. That's all it takes.

Trust yourself and your instincts and just stay away.
Click to expand...
Wow, cold turkey on cigarets thats amazing, must be so difficult. I think you're right, im so afraid and tempted all at once, im gonna go to the brunch but im gonna drink the alcohol free cocktails and save myself the experiment. I do wonder, is this it for me, I feel a bit "pathetic" or "silly" that I cant be like others and drink responsibly. It's hard to accept.
 
you people drink alcohol? lol

i was about 7-9 when i drank carbonated lemonade beverage from a glass bottle, or so i thought. Turned out to be 200 proof pure alcohol. I never drank again until my adult years when i tried/tasted different biers, vodka, champagne, vine, something else. Didn't like any of it. I'm not fun to be around. lol
 
U-122 said:
you people drink alcohol? lol

i was about 7-9 when i drank carbonated lemonade beverage from a glass bottle, or so i thought. Turned out to be 200 proof pure alcohol. I never drank again until my adult years when i tried/tasted different biers, vodka, champagne, vine, something else. Didn't like any of it. I'm not fun to be around. lol
Click to expand...
I mostly drank alone. I would turn off the lights and laugh at myself for drinking in the dark. Ha! Ha!
 

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