An optimistic thought!

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Chris 2

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For those off you who know me on here, I been pretty much depress on and off. Well I don't know what made me write this, and maybe it just a spur of the moment (a one time thing) but I believe my future is not yet dim, like a small plant blooming in a rancid wasteland (Wall E). Sometime I think I am delusional that I will find love someday, and sometime I think I am delusional thinking that no one will love me. I don't know what got me thinking today but I feel optimistic about my future.

I know as long as I'm under my parents roof, and despite being a college student, I will always be on a chain, but college is not where my new start in life began, but rather a practice in becoming independence, and become who I want to be. I am a adult but I am still treated like a child once I come home for the summer, which mean things I want to do like getting pierce ear or maybe a tattoo is unacceptable. I am not yet free, but I am free to do anything that I feel acceptable as long as I don't get caught when I'm at home. In this case, I am free to be ME!

Now I been thinking a lot about life, and my purpose on this planet, and even let say I screw up badly in college, and thus another year without friends...I don't think I will kill myself, not now and not ever. I haven't experience the finer things in life and most of all I haven't experience life itself.

There are just so many things to do that life isn't worth ending. There are so many places to travel to, even though I probably will be alone on those trip. I could visit place such as Australia, The Great Wall of China, The Seattle Arc, The Grand Canyon (2nd times), Las Vegas (2nd times), Hawaii, go on a African Safari, see Mound Rushmore, visit Yellow Stone National Park, Vacation in Canada, watch NBA games lives as a Lakers fans, go to live country concert, visit the place I grew up in Tennessee, and many more.

Now that just one small part of life, there are other things that I can look forward to, such as being an basketball fans in general, and watching as many games as I would like someday with satellite TV. Most importantly, I could enjoy once again the company of man best friends, maybe have even more than 2 dogs. I do believe these things are worth living for, and am glad I have not done anything stupid beside leaving this site for a whole 2 months:D

I think for me right now is that someday I will have a car, I can travel anywhere with it, I can drive on the freeway on and off as much as i want, and hopefully by then gas price start to fall (finger cross).

Now I know life is hard and if worst come to worst, and even if I never find someone who love me, so be it. I think after overcoming social anxiety disorder, I realize I can pretty do much anything as long as I am determine enough to never give in. I realize hell so what if I never fall in love, I think I am still live life being happy. My parents have ruin my life as a child and for the next few years as well, but it not like I will live with them for the rest of my life. I'll become independence someday, and if someone laugh at me for not having any friends, I don't give a hoo.

I guess I just know deep down that if anyone can survive life without ever falling in love or just be happy in general it would be me. I guess I can be thankful for being emotionally strong or else I wouldn't make it out of high school alive like one of my fellow classmate. I constantly think that if some gigantic catastrophe hit the earth and I suddenly became the last person I alive, I would still be able to live life. I now know that nothing can stop me from living my life, and nothing can make me kill myself, no matter how bad the event become.
 
Wooop Wooooop Warning!! warning!!

hacker alert Wooop woop

Is this the real Chris?? I mean OMFG man that post was one of the most inspiring posts I have ever seen here. The only reason I know your account has not been hacked is cos it took me moor then two minutes to read it :p You do like to make me read don't you lol Well it probably do me moor good then hurm. Plus that was well worth the read.

Good one mate, ******* good one :D
 
man that realy is inspiring. I like the part about traveling because thats my dream is to just see the world and the people and culturs of it not just the objects in it.
 
Fantastic post Chris! And so true! There is so much to live for...

As for being treated like a child when you are home, get use to it...you are their child, no matter what your age is. At the age of 34 my father continued to remind me to 'look both ways' before I crossed the street! lol. You get to a point where it's endearing. My father has passed away and I always smile when I remember him doing that, I even wish I can hear him tell me that just one more time.

I have travelled all through europe and russia...by myself! and had a fantastic time and met some wonderful people, people I never would have met otherwise! When you do travel, hook up with a travel group...you won't regret it.

Growing up as a child we were pretty poor...but I always promised myself that when I became independant I would live my life the way I wanted to...I worked hard and was able to provide a good life for myself AND I have two dogs (who mean the world to me). My point in all this is you are right on with your assessment of your future, you really can have want you want!

All the best to you!
 
Chris, past 19 years might have been hell.
I think a while ago I told you you need to get away from them even though being under so much control it seems scary. For many years I lived like that. Was told what clothes to wear and what people I am supposed to like and who to date and whom to marry.
But about 6 years ago I got out of it and actually it felt like I could finally breath in my own air and have friends among people that I was told were bad. But with them I had a lot of fun and miss them all the time.



You need to somehow finish that college. Try to do your best you can and it will be easier later. You still can have fun when you turn 21 and allow yourself to hang out a little.
You will have friends don't worry.
 

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