- Dec 6, 2013
- Reaction score
You say we fail to see the good in the bad and the bad in the good, but I do notice it, it has helped me to have a good life for years. You need to look at the whole picture, many do not. I remember when I was speaking to someone about how great it would be to have a friend to meet up with for a coffee and chat. And this very stupid person jumped in with the advice I should take a month or more off of my business/work/earning money and life to go on a long holiday the other side of the world, where I would maybe meet someone and get on with them - and then when I return back to base, we might MAYBE stay in touch as penfriends. To do thisI've had a similar problem for some time, not exactly parallel.
I often have a desire to complete a project, of some kind: writing, mapping, learning something new, etc., etc.. However, I often don't finish what I start, because I become disinterested, and lose the original passion in the moment of a sparked idea.
The past few years I've pushed myself to see a project through till the end; but, when I do so, it's hell. Once I finally see the finish line in sight, I rush rush rush, and miss mistakes, and I've also lost passion by this point. The end result, isn't necessarily awful, I achieved what I set out to do, more or less; but, I feel incredibly depressed.
I'm not sure if this always happens, I know in the past, it was not so. It's tough though. I feel crap for not finishing anything I start, and I feel crap for finishing what I do start, if not crappier.
As some one shared recently, a quote from Spock:"...Having, is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting..."
I would suspect, those of us who suffer in this way, have a sort of lack of insight, into what we really want.
I really don't actually put a lot of thought into what I want, and the times that I do try to do so, I find so incredibly difficult; like voluntarily choosing to take an SAT or something, who would volunteer for that?
It's tough. You think you want a million dollars, until you realize how much of a responsibility it is, or how much it sucks you blew it all, stupidly, or how people come out of the woodwork wanting money now, etc.. etc..
You think you want a gorgeous woman or a stud muffin doctor; until you find out that gorgeous woman gets a _LOT_ of looks, or has a temper, or is spoiled, or cold; until you find out the hot doctor with the BMW, really only has those two things going for him money, and looks, and the rest of the time, he's difficult to live with, unexciting, or worse.
I would venture a guess, however, that, the reason we suffer in this way, is because there is duality in all things. We want a nice car; but, having it means higher insurance rates, and the eyes of thieves. Nobody wants to pay more to the insurance people; but, we don't think about things in their totality. We see the bad in the bad, and we see the good in the good. We fail to notice the good in the bad, and the bad in the good.
And I don't think becoming keenly aware of the good in the bad and the bad in the good, would fix the problem either. I think the awareness alone would be beneficial, to it's own end; but, it wouldn't drastically change things; because that's just the nature of life.
Single and lonely, married and bored (or lonely, or worse!)
Poor and destitute, or filthy rich and buying your way into the poor house.
So, I guess the good news is, if it's possible to do at all, is be mindful of one's wants and haves; no matter what your position, whether having or wanting, we can focus some contemplative awareness on that. *shrugs*
would mean not seeing my husband, children or business - at a huge financial cost as well as emotional -
to maybe get a penfriend. The stupid woman who suggested this did not even understand I did not want a penfriend, but you can easily get one online quickly for free without stepping foot out of the front door, travelling or all of those sacrifices and time. The really ridiculous bit was why would I want a friend on the other side of the world when it was for coffee and a chat? Far better if they live much nearer and you can actually meet up with them! People who do not know how to think logically will often give advice which is based on just one aspect of what you said and ignoring all the rest. If you follow their advice you end up far worse than you were before, either gaining very little and losing a great deal in the process or losing a lot and gaining nothing at all.