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Are you alone by choice or its a problem for you ?

ManDss

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Just want to know whats the context of this forum. I guess some gonna say loneliness is a problem, but... for what I read of some users, loneliness isnt a problem for them.

For me, well... its both, I guess some gonna say the same. I used to like be alone, but not because I like it, it was because I preffer that to be with the people I used to known. I wanted to be with people, but couldnt find people I like to be around. And I had some friends, but I didnt like them so much, so I chose to be alone, but I was actually looking to find people I like.
 

Finished

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Hmmm. Technically I'm alone by choice. I would like to be married to a wonderful woman. But, that's probably more of a fantasy at this point. I believe a woman that I would be interested in would not be interested in me. So, I gave up trying many years ago. Now I really like being alone. But, sometimes I do get lonely. I would like to do things with a woman. I'm sure if I was in a retirement community I would partake in some of the outings. I would probably even volunteer to drive the group van. But, at the same time, I only go exploring and hiking by myself. I only camp by myself away from others. Being alone has so many advantages. You get to do whatever you want without any concern about someone else.
 

Sidewinder

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Well said, Finished... remote camping is the bomb! No crowds, no regulations, no badges... pure FREEDOM!!!  :cool: 

As for marriage, they say it's the leading cause of divorce, lol...  ;)

I've been shacked up a few times, and had some good times too, but I'm not worried about remaining a bachelor... there are advantages & disadvantages to being in a relationship.  :rolleyes: 

I'm still open to romance, but these modern scumbag politicians aren't making it easy, lol... right now, I'm still struggling to regain my financial footing after losing a good gubmint job last year for all the wrong reasons.   :(

And the way I see it, a person (male or female) should be independent before entering any kind of romantic relationship... of course, if a hot older woman comes by and she's loaded (with money, I mean, not alcohol), I'm not gonna quibble, lol.   :p 

Going back to the camping scene, I quit visiting developed campgrounds many years ago... with all the people, regulations & badges, those campgrounds were like an extension of the city, ugh. Same dice roll with the neighbors too, ya never knew if they'd be cool or be assholes, lol.  :club:
 

Efbee

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I've chosen to live alone because I don't see the point of being together with a woman anymore. Anything a woman could provide me with I have or I can get pretty easily. If I want company I just amble on over to the pub and strike a conversation with anyone. If I want a home-cooked meal I can do it and I love to cook. If I want to play I have all sorts of games and if I want intimacy I can rent it very short term and get home without headaches, without blame, and without the false accusations.
Now I'm not against marriage at all. I had two of them and if someone one day gives me a good reason to date or get married again then I'd definitely consider it but so far, and in 15 years, no one has come up with a good argument for it that would suit me.
 

Assimilate

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ManDss said:
I wanted to be with people, but couldnt find people I like to be around.

I can relate to that. Some of my loneliness is from my self-imposed isolation but some of it is due to others making themselves very unpleasant to be around. I'm guilty of this too, though I wonder how self-aware some people are about their bad habits and negative attitudes.
 

AnonymousMe

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ManDss said:
I wanted to be with people, but couldnt find people I like to be around.

It's, more or less, the reverse with me, when I socialize, it's hard to find people that like me.  Contributing factors might be that I like interests or hobbies that are mainstream; that I find social norms extremely boring; that I don't have the same reaction most people have with specific situations; or maybe that I'm just too butt-ugly to be likable.  Having autism doesn't help either, it's natural for me to not see the difference between appropriate/inappropriate things, which can lead to be seen as a crazy individual with criminal thoughts.

So, all in all, it's a choice, yet it is not, at the same time.  I just see reality different, which could be enough to turn people off, especially if it's in regards to taboo subjects.  These are some reasons as to why I don't bother socializing, although I am open for friendships and relationships if anyone approaches me, which is extremely rare.
It is a problem?  Well, yes and no.  I've accustomed to my rut of being inside all the time, being on my computer and lazying around in my house; it's a very comfy existence.  I know it's not the right one though, I want to be loved and belong somewhere, but it's so freaking difficult to get out of this comfort zone, because despite hating it, I also love it.

I am kinda trying to be more open, but for the moment, all I have is my imagination of being a cool guy, being part of a competent group of people and being a sweetheart of someone I'm being intimate with.
 

Forgottendanfan

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I just don't seem to be capable of connecting with anyone in any deep, meaningful way.
 

ardour

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Forgottendanfan said:
I just don't seem to be capable of connecting with anyone in any deep, meaningful way.

I you're a guy you need to forget about the deep meaningful part, society hasn't progressed to that point yet.
 

Bratwurst0516

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Even though I live with my 80yr.-old mother. I feel like I am living alone. I don't choose to live alone. Because, My physical health is too risky for me to live alone. But, Every woman I have been with long-term, couldn't cope withe severity of my health.
 

Slick

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Although at this point I do enjoy being alone, doing what I want , when I want....it has not been by choice and took me many years to get used to and enjoy...My husband passed away at 54, 3 of my closest girlfriends from all my life and my only sister between 50-51 ....all over a few years...I have 3 daughters, one passed away 24 years ago at 21....so I do have contact and close relationship with both of them..although I enjoy my privacy , I do at times crave human contact...would love to find a club or small group of women I have common interests with and would definitely like to meet a partner/companion....I have no big expectations of pushing this anywhere. If we remained close friends until we both pass...fine, if we decided to live together, fine to...and on the very off chance we both wanted to marry , that's OK too....
 
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