RandomFella
Well-known member
Hello everyone!
I often feel lonely and this was the case for almost my entire life (I'm close to 30 now). Most social places don't fit to my nature or interests. I don't feel a connection to humanity as a whole. Most adults I talk to are usually friendly, they help me too, when I ask for the right direction etc. No one hates me as far as I know, I'm just a quiet and peaceful person. This is not the problem.
I think the problem is just to find the right people with the right balance. For example, my neighbours. They only talk and talk and talk about themselves and about their lives, without asking anything about me. And when they are alone, the husband would start complaining about the wife, the wife does the same about him.
My experiences with other "friends" or acquaintances in the past was always that it was one-sided. I always give kindness, help and trust in advance. But I never received anything back, was left alone when I had some smaller struggles. One who I was closer to eventually found his new girlfriend and immediately left all of his acquaintances, me included.
I live in a smaller village, so there aren't many opportunities anyway. Nowadays I'm looking mostly online. Most people leave after a short while, quickly losing interest in general. I had the chance to come closer to just a few, but it wouldn't work in the end as well. It was peaceful and friendly, but we seeked different things in a friendship. My goal was basically to not be alone, having a positive time together, since I'm a very positive person myself. Just looking for friendship, romance doesn't interest me. It really would mean the world to me, to find someone similar. When i join the online communities of my interests, they are often pretty negative or toxic. I'm a creative person and I tried to share some of my stuff too, I hoped it would help with the loneliness. But no. The only people who would talk to me are selfish, asking for free stuff. Or they write comments, just making advertisement for themselves. So I figured I just should stay alone, everything I do should be just for myself. This way I keep the hate and everything away from me. I'm very sensitive, so most social media platforms aren't good for my mental health either.
Social life doesn't work for me. Especially since it's important to me to be a true person. True to my nature, my feelings, not faking anything, not lying. A person like me would get hated by most people, even though I'm just peaceful. So I can't be 100% myself around humanity. Which makes it meaningless. The only chance probably would be to find a very small circle of similar thinking people, peacelovers, just like me.
I feel like I reached a very important crossroad in my life. A part of me says I should live in solitude, just accepting to be alone and somehow learn to not feel lonely anymore. Since the feel of loneliness is the only problem. Or just continue my search for the right person or people. I mean I can't change the world, only myself.
Maybe someone here feels similar. Or found a good way to happily live in solitude. I think it would be great to exchange some experiences.
I often feel lonely and this was the case for almost my entire life (I'm close to 30 now). Most social places don't fit to my nature or interests. I don't feel a connection to humanity as a whole. Most adults I talk to are usually friendly, they help me too, when I ask for the right direction etc. No one hates me as far as I know, I'm just a quiet and peaceful person. This is not the problem.
I think the problem is just to find the right people with the right balance. For example, my neighbours. They only talk and talk and talk about themselves and about their lives, without asking anything about me. And when they are alone, the husband would start complaining about the wife, the wife does the same about him.
My experiences with other "friends" or acquaintances in the past was always that it was one-sided. I always give kindness, help and trust in advance. But I never received anything back, was left alone when I had some smaller struggles. One who I was closer to eventually found his new girlfriend and immediately left all of his acquaintances, me included.
I live in a smaller village, so there aren't many opportunities anyway. Nowadays I'm looking mostly online. Most people leave after a short while, quickly losing interest in general. I had the chance to come closer to just a few, but it wouldn't work in the end as well. It was peaceful and friendly, but we seeked different things in a friendship. My goal was basically to not be alone, having a positive time together, since I'm a very positive person myself. Just looking for friendship, romance doesn't interest me. It really would mean the world to me, to find someone similar. When i join the online communities of my interests, they are often pretty negative or toxic. I'm a creative person and I tried to share some of my stuff too, I hoped it would help with the loneliness. But no. The only people who would talk to me are selfish, asking for free stuff. Or they write comments, just making advertisement for themselves. So I figured I just should stay alone, everything I do should be just for myself. This way I keep the hate and everything away from me. I'm very sensitive, so most social media platforms aren't good for my mental health either.
Social life doesn't work for me. Especially since it's important to me to be a true person. True to my nature, my feelings, not faking anything, not lying. A person like me would get hated by most people, even though I'm just peaceful. So I can't be 100% myself around humanity. Which makes it meaningless. The only chance probably would be to find a very small circle of similar thinking people, peacelovers, just like me.
I feel like I reached a very important crossroad in my life. A part of me says I should live in solitude, just accepting to be alone and somehow learn to not feel lonely anymore. Since the feel of loneliness is the only problem. Or just continue my search for the right person or people. I mean I can't change the world, only myself.
Maybe someone here feels similar. Or found a good way to happily live in solitude. I think it would be great to exchange some experiences.