Best insults you have received

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Serenia

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Urgh excuse the typo in the title.

et's share best insults we have received and also if you had a good clapback for them.  

Someone recently asked me to remind them where I went on honeymoon.  As it happened the original destination of my honeymoon was changed due to the fallout of 9/11.  I was gutted I couldn't visit this place.  This person then said in a llaughing manner "Well you'll never go now".  Wait what? Why not?  This place is not that hard to visit, it is a huge tourist place, why would I never go now.  I could go there on holiday with my children, I could go in a few years on my own.  I have no barriers to travel, money isn't an issue.  What was their point of saying that?  They have been passive aggressive from the moment I knew them.  They put me down at almost every opportunity.  They are tiring but not someone I am willing to completely cut them put of my life, I just keep at arms length for my sanity.  I didn't have a reply, they usually say these things and then suddenly run off or busy themselves.

I have many more to share as I them.  Actually felt good typing that out, maybe this will be a helpful process.
 
Just Games said:
Chear up it might never happen/your not dead yet

Oh yeah hate that one.  In fact it happened to me the day after my Mum passed away, I had gone to the supermarket to get some bits, I was in a bit of a trance in the queue and when I got to the front the bloke serving said exactly that.  I just looked at him and said "My Mum died yesterday how am I meant to cheer up, it already happened".  He was suitably mortified.

Also some people just have a 'resting ***** face' as some call it, they have a certain look, but doesn't necessarily reflect their mood.
 
I mean I took the best insult I ever got as a compliment... I used to play Twitch Sings a lot and guy with a HUGE chat of like 15000 people dueted with me. He said something along the lines of "This guy is so serious he looks like a ******* retired KGB agent. I'm telling you if you met him in a gulag, you're ******* dead, bruv." I loved it...

Someone that was pissed off with me once got me an empty box for my brithday with a piece of paper that said "For the man who has everything" - but that makes me laugh now too
 
a woman I was seeing for a short time implied I was retard...ahem mentally challenged because I hadn't many clear memories from age 3.

"I remember everything! Who I liked, who I didn't like, what I wanted to do..."
 
An old boss once referred to me as a "normal person". I don't think they intended for it to be an insult, while I found it to be a unique claim, I didn't take it as an insult either. Ah, heck, maybe I just wanted to brag about being called 'normal' once.
 
When I was 18 my dear mother informed me that I was a jinx on the family and had been since before my birth. Thank you, Mother.
Thirty years later I get guilt tripped for not calling (I HATE phone calls and am not that keen on my mother either 🙄).
 
I got called a heartless arsehole more than once. The funny part was the time it was followed by "your problem is that you're too sensitive" about two sentences later.
Only thing I could reply was "So...you want me to frown or cry now?"
 
a woman I was seeing for a short time implied I was retard...ahem mentally challenged because I hadn't many clear memories from age 3.

"I remember everything! Who I liked, who I didn't like, what I wanted to do..."
Should've asked if she remembered which brand of diapers she felt was more absorbant ;-)
 
I told my sister to let me take the lead on something because I'm older and she said "you don't usually serve the first pancake, it's kind of just a test run." Brutal. I'm the oldest sibling.
 
I was recently called a "Miss over-educated, know-it-all troll!!" after I gave the scientific explanation for something that someone just preferred to hate for their own reasons. I just liked being acknowledged for my intelligence for a change. Usually I'm told I'm an idiot or just ignored completely, so it was an odd sort of validation. 😂🙃
 
a woman I was seeing for a short time implied I was retard...ahem mentally challenged because I hadn't many clear memories from age 3.

"I remember everything! Who I liked, who I didn't like, what I wanted to do..."

So wait she insulted you because you don't have clear memories from when you were 3?
 
So wait she insulted you because you don't have clear memories from when you were 3?

Correct, although deliberately insulted isn't quite accurate. She just couldn't understand how others couldn't have, then hinted she thought I must have therefore been abused as a child. This is someone who just can't fathom any life experiences that don't correlate with her own.
 
worst insult ive had was when i was practicing my bboy dancing on omegle. someone said, dude thats gay as honeysuckle bro, it hurt but cant let it stop me from chasing my dreams. who is he anyway to try to bring me down. he was on omegle with a gun. probably some kid with alot of anger at the world.
 
" You make your incompetence seem like an achievement " My ex boss

Oh wow took me a few reads to get it. That's harsh. Mean.

Correct, although deliberately insulted isn't quite accurate. She just couldn't understand how others couldn't have, then hinted she thought I must have therefore been abused as a child. This is someone who just can't fathom any life experiences that don't correlate with her own.
Well days after I turned 3 I got burnt over my whole body so I remember being taken out and being hosed down with water. Pain was unbearable as it was all third degree burns. So on going stream of water for 10-15 mins on top immediately after wasn't going to be something I forget. I spent the next 6-10 months in hospital.

I only remember being hosed down because I was jumping up and down from the pain and a few incidents during my stay of 6-10 months. I forget how long as it's been so long now.

The woman who implied you're dumb for not remembering anything is an utter moron. What we forget and remmeber has nothing to do with if we were or weren't abused. I went through something traumatic and I only remember a few incidents at that age.

I do remember thr desert or sand before I was born or it could've been during my hospital stay. I think it was before I was born though. Said this on a diff thread.
 

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