B
bear
Guest
there was a time, when i didnt feel this lonely.
Back in my old school, and in the town in which i used to live, i had/have friends whom i regard as the best type of friends a guy could have. I could talk to them about anything, be it relevant, or non-sensical, just generally a good set of lads to hang around.
Ive always been a inexcusably poor adapter to big changes, and ive never been quick to make friends, due to my crippling shyness, and inability to connect with people. The friendships that i have, are old ones, going back a long way (well, as long a way as there can be for a 17 year old).
But now im in a different town, and a different school. My old town, is in Sussex, England, and now i am typing this in Essex. So i am a long way away from them, and ever since i moved here in September, its been eating away at me.
For some reason i cant seem to make conversation with the people in my school. The conversations they seem to have, (most of them), have little or no interest, and relevance to my interests, and tastes. And (from my point of view), most of what i say, goes unnoticed. Its not that im unused to being unnoticed, far from it infact, but it just hurts a little more for whatever reason.
My parents seem to spout rubbish about this being a whole new experience for me, and how i could learn to move on etc etc, but they dont seem to realise how much this has affected me, after i told them before the move, that there was no way i would be able to adapt. Not even i thought it would be this hard.
We are supposed to be heading down to Sussex on Wednesday to visit some friends, but most of my personal friends are busy for the large part of that day, and that really does get to me, that this is my only chance to catch up with them, and it has more or less been taken away from me, and i will not be able to meet them again in the flesh till possiby the next half term holidays. Of course its no ones fault this turn of events, but i feel the need to blame it on someone or something, and there doesnt seem a valid reason to blame it on anyone, other than God, whom I feel must be punishing me for something or the other.
Surely I deserve a break from this loneliness? Doesnt everyone?
Back in my old school, and in the town in which i used to live, i had/have friends whom i regard as the best type of friends a guy could have. I could talk to them about anything, be it relevant, or non-sensical, just generally a good set of lads to hang around.
Ive always been a inexcusably poor adapter to big changes, and ive never been quick to make friends, due to my crippling shyness, and inability to connect with people. The friendships that i have, are old ones, going back a long way (well, as long a way as there can be for a 17 year old).
But now im in a different town, and a different school. My old town, is in Sussex, England, and now i am typing this in Essex. So i am a long way away from them, and ever since i moved here in September, its been eating away at me.
For some reason i cant seem to make conversation with the people in my school. The conversations they seem to have, (most of them), have little or no interest, and relevance to my interests, and tastes. And (from my point of view), most of what i say, goes unnoticed. Its not that im unused to being unnoticed, far from it infact, but it just hurts a little more for whatever reason.
My parents seem to spout rubbish about this being a whole new experience for me, and how i could learn to move on etc etc, but they dont seem to realise how much this has affected me, after i told them before the move, that there was no way i would be able to adapt. Not even i thought it would be this hard.
We are supposed to be heading down to Sussex on Wednesday to visit some friends, but most of my personal friends are busy for the large part of that day, and that really does get to me, that this is my only chance to catch up with them, and it has more or less been taken away from me, and i will not be able to meet them again in the flesh till possiby the next half term holidays. Of course its no ones fault this turn of events, but i feel the need to blame it on someone or something, and there doesnt seem a valid reason to blame it on anyone, other than God, whom I feel must be punishing me for something or the other.
Surely I deserve a break from this loneliness? Doesnt everyone?