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Broccoli

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Apr 20, 2021
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Hello guys,

Maybe someone can help me with my problem.
I really like to meet new people! But I have a chronic illness called crohns disease.
It makes it difficult for me to explain to people why I am in pain or need to go to the bathroom so much. Its very embarrassing. Now I want to just really want to go out and meet new people, because I like to have a good time. But im feeling very insecure about my disease, everywhere I go. Is there someone out there that the same problem? How can I deal with this? Its just so weird to tell someone when I meet them the first time about my disease, some can find it annoying.

Thanks!
 
IMO, most people don't know what crohns disease is. But, it sounds scary. Maybe you can just wait to tell them when it becomes really obvious or they get to know you better. That way they get to know you first before knowing that you have that disease. Maybe you can delay it by saying you just got over the stomach flu or something. To be honest, it's nobody's business except people that are part of your life. Everybody has problems and most hide them well.
 
Broccoli, I don't share your disease but I have a large prostate and small bladder that forces me to the bathroom exceedingly often.  For me, it's more of an inconvenience than embarassment, but I can understand how it could be an unwanted trait in younger social circles - or on a date with someone you want to impress.  Here's my two suggestions:

There's no need to volunteer one's health flaws upon first contact with new social prospects.  But if, after excusing yourself an inordinate number of times from the chat, you sense others noticing your condition, then a brief sentence should suffice.  In my case, I simply say: you'll have to forgive me; I've got plumbing issues you don't want to know about.  It always garners a positive, humorous response, with others often reciprocating a similar sentiment.  In other words, while most people are too prideful to openly reveal their health flaws, most have some.  I think an early brief admission is helpful, but sharing details can be reserved for later.
 
A second point I'll make is to realize that most people are going to accept or reject you on your character, not your health condition.  The few that would reject you based upon your health condition aren't worthwhile friend prospects.

Your condition may be an unfortunate burden in life that causes some physical inconveniences and discomfort, but your social worries about it probably aren't warranted.  So, just be yourself and let people accept you or not.  Some will and some won't - putting you in the same basket as everyone else. God bless you.
 

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