confused about sexuality

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Joined
Jul 21, 2022
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hello, first I just wanted to clarify that I'm not really in a rush at all to figure myself out because I don't plan on getting into any relationships for at least a couple years. I guess I'm just a bit curious and was wondering if anyone feels the same way as me, or maybe has an idea of what im talking about.

so for as long as I can remember, I don't want to do it with anyone no matter how close the relationship is, the more I think about myself in those situations I feel uneasy or uncomfortable about it.

I feel like it may have to do with me being trans, because I have a lot of dysphoria about most of my body. It's not hard to imagine why I wouldn't want to do certain things with someone because of the dysphoria, especially if it's already upsetting on it's own. But I still feel attraction to people, and could enjoy touching/kissing and such, but not sex itself if that makes sense.

The thing is, I can't really be sure if any of this would change if I decided to get surgery or not. But to be honest, sometimes I don't know what would make me happy because I am so scared to try anything in the first place.

But idk being trans definitely complicates everything, but does anyone have any input about any of this? again, im not too fixated on it, it's more of something in the back of my head, and was just wondering if anyone else knows what im talking about. thanks : )
 
I think I understand what you are saying as far as not wanting to have sex but still wanting to experience and feel the attention, attraction, and affection from another person. A person shouldn’t have sex unless they are completely comfortable with themself and the person they are intimate with. I think, whether you have sex or don’t, you most definitely need to accept and be comfortable with who you are no matter how you are. You have to do what feels best for you. Take baby steps. I actually know a young person who is dealing with similar issues.
 
How you feel about yourself can definitely impact how you feel sexually. If you don't like yourself and/or your body, you are going to assume that other people also won't like your body, so you hide it. I'm not trans and I don't have dysphoria, but I do have BDD, so I more or less know how you feel in that regard. It's hard to get over that hurdle, but it can be done. Maybe you are more asexual and won't ever want to go all the way. There's really no way of knowing until you find that right person and/or you find a way to accept yourself as you are.
 
IMO, you should do whatever you feel like doing or not. I think if you are attracted to someone and they to you, you should tell them how you feel before things progress very far. IMO, I would try to wait on surgery until you are absolutely sure, as in you KNOW you need that. Please don't get involved with someone and allow them to pursuade you in either direction. It should be 100% your decision for yourself. People come and go but that's permanent.
 
IMO, you should do whatever you feel like doing or not. I think if you are attracted to someone and they to you, you should tell them how you feel before things progress very far. IMO, I would try to wait on surgery until you are absolutely sure, as in you KNOW you need that. Please don't get involved with someone and allow them to pursuade you in either direction. It should be 100% your decision for yourself. People come and go but that's permanent.
well said. I'm definitely the type of person to think things through thoroughly and only following through when it is with overwhelming certainty. It will surely take me a very long time to come to a conclusion about weather or not surgery is right for me and I definitely have no reason to rush that conclusion.
 

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