hitch1983
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2014
- Messages
- 45
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Hi,
Having a rubbish saturday night. so much going in my head needed to get it out. No one really to talk it out with, so thats why im here.
Recently went on a date with a girl. In fact it wast this time last week. It was a setup. A girl i got talking to online months ago, but never got to the stage of dating with, but sometimes talked now and again, decided to set me up with her friend.
The excitement and anticipation was great to start with. Started off communicating through the girl who was setting us up, then facebook chat with the girl herlself, then text and phone calls. This took over the time period of a week.
We then eventually decided it was time to go to the next stage. And decided to meet up. However, she got a bout of the flu and we ended up calling it off, well delaying it for a week.
This next week, the buzz began to die abit on my side. It started to feel all soo familar of a typical online dating situation for me. Where i get talking to a girl, after searching months for one, and its great to start but shes a million miles away from me, or at least 80. And reality hits and we end up never meeting and it slowly peters out and game over.
I almost lost interest completely a couple of times, but she kept me reeled in. And with her connection with the friend, that kinda kept me in check too and not to give up on it.
So the next weekend arrives, im feeling not too enthusiastic about it, because we struggle to arrange a time and something to actually do.
She lives in a small town 40 miles away from me ya see. Not much to do it in it, plus the timing of the date was a bit unsure, soo much soo, that it was nearly called off again. I wanted to meet early daytime saturday, to actually go someplace or do something, because as time went on the options became limited.
I hear you say why not go for a drink? Well a little about me. Ive lived a sheltered life. I grew up in a christian family which didnt drink and pretty much shut me off from all those vices of the world. They weren't strict parents, but committed Christians and i always felt i couldn't let them down, so my teenagers were tame to say the least.
However, i grew up and moved out and have my own house. I am employed as a civil engineering techinician and studying at college in that field whilst i work. Im not rich, nor am i poor. However, over the years in my 20s i abandoned my parents faith and beliefs and went out on my own. However, my upbringing me quite shy and lacking confidence in myself. This has been a work in progress to develop, right to this day. Im not painfully shy anymore, i can talk to anyone in any situation. But i suck at conversation skills, i dont have any stories, because ive pretty much lived a boring life.
However, i still feel a tie to my parents and dont go out drinking like any normal 20 something would do and meet girls and let my hair down so to speak. And from not going to church anymore, i lost communication with that crowd, so much soo that these guys are either married or moved away. and its just not the same.
Also because ive failed to embrace the other kind of life, i dont have many friends in that world either. Yeah i got on ok with a few people at work and thru activities such as the gym. I love the gym btw, fitness and sport is basically which keeps me sane and hoping for a better life. It helps stave off depression and im hoping if i get a good enough body, make me more desirable to women, and take the shyness aspect down a notch in importance.
And whilst my body is in pretty good shape, better than the average joe bloggs it hasnt provided that edge i need. Partly because my personality sucks, but im not exactly the greatest looking guy in the world either. On my day, when everything is going for me, i can look maybe just average or above average, but thats very rare, and spend most of days looking quite unattractive basically probably.
But back to the date, why not for a drink. Well for all those reasons ive just stated and also because of my fitness.. Alcohol wont do me any favours for getting a good body. So i choose not to drink, even if i now feel i can drink. BEcause my parents arent holding me back anymore.
Plus another reason i ruled that kinda of date out was because i dont feel comfortable in bars. Its usually noisy and busy and i struggle to make conversation anyway and im softly spoken, so it would be a disaster.
But as she cant do a daytime meet, it ends up being an early evening date. Only by the skin of our teeth. As i said the lack of options and timings very nearly killed it. But it was a nice day thank goodness, and warm. and still enough light about to go for a walk.
So on the walk we went. I stopped feeling nervous on first dates ages ago, they never go well for me. So i just kinda turn up and try my best. and did so.
However, it seemed to go ok. Nothing better than what i perceived from other dates ive been on, but for some reason it seemed to kinda work with her, not spectacular but ok.
And after the shortish walk we went back to hers to chill for a bit and we watcched the xfactor together. However, i didnt want to try come across like a guy who just wanted her for sex or anything and didnt stay too late. Left after the xfactor was over. However, to my surprise, we kissed before i left.
This kinda woken me up, lighted my fires. I never get a kiss. First dates for me are usually over in a hour or 2 and then im ditched. Either by blanked completely or that dreaded text comes, i didnt feel any connection.
So i go home, smiling and feeling good. So much so, that i start to get carried away in my head and think this good actually lead somewhere.
The next day arrives. I dont pay attention to the tone of the texts or anything. But by the evening, it feels like something has changed.
She seems less enthusiastic to speak to me. She doenst finish me off and say no ta, sorry see ya around. But she goes kinda distant, texting me sparingly throughout the day.
This pattern develops of the week, to the point we are now. Where im writing this. THere was a period on friday, it felt we were back to week 1 again. Her enthusiastic. keeping me in check if i hadnt replied straight away sorta thing.
But it didnt last long and ive barely spoken to her today.
In fact i havent spoken to her on the phone since the date. Before the date, phone coversations were almost the go to.
I challenged her a couple of times through the week, what she was feeling. She never gave me an answer as such. JUst that she wasnt feeling too hot and feeling a bit down in the dumps. ANd stressed. I said you can talk to me about it, but she never does.
I also tried everything i could, to cheer her up, send me cute texts and offer to take her out and spoil her.
I wanted to meet this weekend for a second date but she said no. but shes keepnig me dangling. wont completely write me off either. Keeps saying she wants to keep talking to me, but isnt sure what she wants.
So what the hell do i do?
I feel soo restless and confused and agitated. Ive never gotten this far with a girl before. My last relationship if you can call it that was 4 years ago. and that only lasted 4 months, and it was long distance. My other relationships before that, werent much better. the last was my longest.
After that first date with her, i was excited and also a bit scared to be honest. It felt compleltely new ground, what the hell do i do. etc. but i still wanted it.
Im not sure i exactly felt fireworks with this girl, but in my situation where girls are sparingly, fireworks isnt exactly a top of my list thing. JUst getting a girl to want me is the challenge really.
I know i know, thats not good. But i would be prepare to date this girl more and work at it. I know those fireworks would come. Because i get attached quite easily to be honest. I take it hard when it goes wrong. I feel people value too much on a instant spark and should work at it. Maybe thats just me and my situation dictates that, but thats what i believe.
I like to think im wise enough to say that ill never settle just for the sake of settling. Even in my dire situation and would never string this girl along if i felt no future.
BUt right now, i do see a future, it might not be a long term future just now, but its a future. I can see us growing together and having fun and sharing experiences.
Which makes my sat feel all the more worse. I soo want this girl to badly text me back. BUt its just not coming tonight. She has texted me today, just general chat, but shes probaly out with her friends or with family having a good tim and i wont exactly be top of her list for communication right now.
I expect ill get a text at some point, even its 2moro. and the trend of this current week will continue, where shes half invested in me, dangling me along.
I am kinda hoping i can maybe convince her to go on another date 2moro. But i dont fancy my chances, especially if shes out drinking or whatever 2nite. Probably feel too rough for it.
BUt if not 2moro, ill try nail a second date for the following weekend, before she has time to make alternative plans hopefully.
However, im scared it will be the death of the situation too.
What would you do? wait it out and hope she eventually wants to meet again, but at the current rate of communication, it would kinda seem unlikely.
or force a date and possibly it off for good.
at the minute im not in or out.
I know if it ends, it will crush my spirits, even if i see it coming. Ive already been feeling down and depressed. NOt enough to give up but enough to make me even more of a dour person to be around.
Ive tried dwelling back into online dating, see if theres any options on there. Kinda set up a back up of someone else if this fails, Not exactly a good idea but this is where the desperation part comes in.
However, like the years of experiences of online dating tells me, nothing is coming any time soon and it just adds to my woe and gloominess.
So im a lonely desperate social recluse with a good body and confused.
ANy advice?
I kinda glad it got this out.
Sorry for any typos or grammar, just been on a roll typing not paying attention to the actual words. Ill probably post this and re-read and edit it at some points if im not feeling totatlly depressed.
PLease text me leanne, cheer my saturday night up.
Having a rubbish saturday night. so much going in my head needed to get it out. No one really to talk it out with, so thats why im here.
Recently went on a date with a girl. In fact it wast this time last week. It was a setup. A girl i got talking to online months ago, but never got to the stage of dating with, but sometimes talked now and again, decided to set me up with her friend.
The excitement and anticipation was great to start with. Started off communicating through the girl who was setting us up, then facebook chat with the girl herlself, then text and phone calls. This took over the time period of a week.
We then eventually decided it was time to go to the next stage. And decided to meet up. However, she got a bout of the flu and we ended up calling it off, well delaying it for a week.
This next week, the buzz began to die abit on my side. It started to feel all soo familar of a typical online dating situation for me. Where i get talking to a girl, after searching months for one, and its great to start but shes a million miles away from me, or at least 80. And reality hits and we end up never meeting and it slowly peters out and game over.
I almost lost interest completely a couple of times, but she kept me reeled in. And with her connection with the friend, that kinda kept me in check too and not to give up on it.
So the next weekend arrives, im feeling not too enthusiastic about it, because we struggle to arrange a time and something to actually do.
She lives in a small town 40 miles away from me ya see. Not much to do it in it, plus the timing of the date was a bit unsure, soo much soo, that it was nearly called off again. I wanted to meet early daytime saturday, to actually go someplace or do something, because as time went on the options became limited.
I hear you say why not go for a drink? Well a little about me. Ive lived a sheltered life. I grew up in a christian family which didnt drink and pretty much shut me off from all those vices of the world. They weren't strict parents, but committed Christians and i always felt i couldn't let them down, so my teenagers were tame to say the least.
However, i grew up and moved out and have my own house. I am employed as a civil engineering techinician and studying at college in that field whilst i work. Im not rich, nor am i poor. However, over the years in my 20s i abandoned my parents faith and beliefs and went out on my own. However, my upbringing me quite shy and lacking confidence in myself. This has been a work in progress to develop, right to this day. Im not painfully shy anymore, i can talk to anyone in any situation. But i suck at conversation skills, i dont have any stories, because ive pretty much lived a boring life.
However, i still feel a tie to my parents and dont go out drinking like any normal 20 something would do and meet girls and let my hair down so to speak. And from not going to church anymore, i lost communication with that crowd, so much soo that these guys are either married or moved away. and its just not the same.
Also because ive failed to embrace the other kind of life, i dont have many friends in that world either. Yeah i got on ok with a few people at work and thru activities such as the gym. I love the gym btw, fitness and sport is basically which keeps me sane and hoping for a better life. It helps stave off depression and im hoping if i get a good enough body, make me more desirable to women, and take the shyness aspect down a notch in importance.
And whilst my body is in pretty good shape, better than the average joe bloggs it hasnt provided that edge i need. Partly because my personality sucks, but im not exactly the greatest looking guy in the world either. On my day, when everything is going for me, i can look maybe just average or above average, but thats very rare, and spend most of days looking quite unattractive basically probably.
But back to the date, why not for a drink. Well for all those reasons ive just stated and also because of my fitness.. Alcohol wont do me any favours for getting a good body. So i choose not to drink, even if i now feel i can drink. BEcause my parents arent holding me back anymore.
Plus another reason i ruled that kinda of date out was because i dont feel comfortable in bars. Its usually noisy and busy and i struggle to make conversation anyway and im softly spoken, so it would be a disaster.
But as she cant do a daytime meet, it ends up being an early evening date. Only by the skin of our teeth. As i said the lack of options and timings very nearly killed it. But it was a nice day thank goodness, and warm. and still enough light about to go for a walk.
So on the walk we went. I stopped feeling nervous on first dates ages ago, they never go well for me. So i just kinda turn up and try my best. and did so.
However, it seemed to go ok. Nothing better than what i perceived from other dates ive been on, but for some reason it seemed to kinda work with her, not spectacular but ok.
And after the shortish walk we went back to hers to chill for a bit and we watcched the xfactor together. However, i didnt want to try come across like a guy who just wanted her for sex or anything and didnt stay too late. Left after the xfactor was over. However, to my surprise, we kissed before i left.
This kinda woken me up, lighted my fires. I never get a kiss. First dates for me are usually over in a hour or 2 and then im ditched. Either by blanked completely or that dreaded text comes, i didnt feel any connection.
So i go home, smiling and feeling good. So much so, that i start to get carried away in my head and think this good actually lead somewhere.
The next day arrives. I dont pay attention to the tone of the texts or anything. But by the evening, it feels like something has changed.
She seems less enthusiastic to speak to me. She doenst finish me off and say no ta, sorry see ya around. But she goes kinda distant, texting me sparingly throughout the day.
This pattern develops of the week, to the point we are now. Where im writing this. THere was a period on friday, it felt we were back to week 1 again. Her enthusiastic. keeping me in check if i hadnt replied straight away sorta thing.
But it didnt last long and ive barely spoken to her today.
In fact i havent spoken to her on the phone since the date. Before the date, phone coversations were almost the go to.
I challenged her a couple of times through the week, what she was feeling. She never gave me an answer as such. JUst that she wasnt feeling too hot and feeling a bit down in the dumps. ANd stressed. I said you can talk to me about it, but she never does.
I also tried everything i could, to cheer her up, send me cute texts and offer to take her out and spoil her.
I wanted to meet this weekend for a second date but she said no. but shes keepnig me dangling. wont completely write me off either. Keeps saying she wants to keep talking to me, but isnt sure what she wants.
So what the hell do i do?
I feel soo restless and confused and agitated. Ive never gotten this far with a girl before. My last relationship if you can call it that was 4 years ago. and that only lasted 4 months, and it was long distance. My other relationships before that, werent much better. the last was my longest.
After that first date with her, i was excited and also a bit scared to be honest. It felt compleltely new ground, what the hell do i do. etc. but i still wanted it.
Im not sure i exactly felt fireworks with this girl, but in my situation where girls are sparingly, fireworks isnt exactly a top of my list thing. JUst getting a girl to want me is the challenge really.
I know i know, thats not good. But i would be prepare to date this girl more and work at it. I know those fireworks would come. Because i get attached quite easily to be honest. I take it hard when it goes wrong. I feel people value too much on a instant spark and should work at it. Maybe thats just me and my situation dictates that, but thats what i believe.
I like to think im wise enough to say that ill never settle just for the sake of settling. Even in my dire situation and would never string this girl along if i felt no future.
BUt right now, i do see a future, it might not be a long term future just now, but its a future. I can see us growing together and having fun and sharing experiences.
Which makes my sat feel all the more worse. I soo want this girl to badly text me back. BUt its just not coming tonight. She has texted me today, just general chat, but shes probaly out with her friends or with family having a good tim and i wont exactly be top of her list for communication right now.
I expect ill get a text at some point, even its 2moro. and the trend of this current week will continue, where shes half invested in me, dangling me along.
I am kinda hoping i can maybe convince her to go on another date 2moro. But i dont fancy my chances, especially if shes out drinking or whatever 2nite. Probably feel too rough for it.
BUt if not 2moro, ill try nail a second date for the following weekend, before she has time to make alternative plans hopefully.
However, im scared it will be the death of the situation too.
What would you do? wait it out and hope she eventually wants to meet again, but at the current rate of communication, it would kinda seem unlikely.
or force a date and possibly it off for good.
at the minute im not in or out.
I know if it ends, it will crush my spirits, even if i see it coming. Ive already been feeling down and depressed. NOt enough to give up but enough to make me even more of a dour person to be around.
Ive tried dwelling back into online dating, see if theres any options on there. Kinda set up a back up of someone else if this fails, Not exactly a good idea but this is where the desperation part comes in.
However, like the years of experiences of online dating tells me, nothing is coming any time soon and it just adds to my woe and gloominess.
So im a lonely desperate social recluse with a good body and confused.
ANy advice?
I kinda glad it got this out.
Sorry for any typos or grammar, just been on a roll typing not paying attention to the actual words. Ill probably post this and re-read and edit it at some points if im not feeling totatlly depressed.
PLease text me leanne, cheer my saturday night up.
