AllAlone1
Well-known member
I wanted to start a new thread about a subject that I looked for but didn't come across on this forum. Hi I am AllAlone1 and I am a Control Freak, if I am not in control of most of the situations or circumstances or at least be able predict an outcome that I am comfortable with that involve me, my whole world crashes I get stressed my hair falls out and I get terrible headaches, this is particularly the case with my romantic relationships but not limited to(see my post about trust issues). I won't go some places and do some things that most people around me seem to go and do all the time because of my control issues. for example I don't like to be around large groups of people in open places especially if there is alcohol, drugs, or just people who you know just by looking at them like to start trouble there, which basically rules out just about any club or at least the ones I know of(which goes right back to the loneliness I sometimes feel even in large groups because I'm usually thinking about this too much to have "good time" my selective mutism plays apart in this also) because I don't know or can't predict how things might go or what people might do and speaking of strange people I don't like being around loud or boisterous strangers either their the worst you definitely never know what they might do. In analyzing all this and some other things regarding this matter I have been beginning to wonder am I what some refer to as anal retentive like for example when someone tells me to call them to call them back in 5 10 or even 30 min depending how important the person is on the other end to me I call back at exactly the time appointed as if it was timed. when I leave for work in the morning I have leave at 6:00 or 6:05 or 6:10 etc, but never 6:03 or 6:07 or something crazy like that, thats just madness the same is so when I am getting off from work. I don't like odd numbers. I often budget my money down to the last red cent and when doesn't go the way I budgeted theres pandemonium. Every painting, poster, or photo hung in any room I'm in has to be centered at least look as much as centered as possible. I have alot of personal theories that I thought alot of people felt the same way about but for some strange reason I'm the only one that seems to know about em and I fall apart when people don't abide by these theories(I'm still trying to get used to what my mate tells me all the time which is "everybody doesn't think like you" but it sure would be nice if they did though, the world would have a lot less problem if it did lol!). I could go on and on but I guess what I am trying to say everything has its place and as well people too as far as I'm concerned. I like order, complete order or at least order in the way that mind understands it anything outside of that and you will see me have a melt down like a nuclear power plant. So does any one else feel this way about any of these things.
