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Jesse

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I'm down. I have a very good job for not having a college degree, but it's just not enough for me to be able to live on my own- at least not with my car payment. I work 3rd shift and normally have to sleep during the day, usually most of the day because it can take me hours to fall asleep. I can't quit my job because I have to pay rent to stay at my aunt and uncles. I can't go to school because of my job. I can't find a different job because any other job around here would be significantly less money.

Sometimes I feel like I should be proud of myself just because I'm able to hold down a job. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, Bipolar, social phobia, severe anxiety and depression. It's really tough most of the time to go to work. To go to school....I just don't think I can handle it. I've actually tried before and I just couldn't do it.

So I'm stuck. Now it's not so bad at my aunt and uncle's but the thing is they're getting old and not in good health and I'm worried about where I'll go when they're gone. I can't stay with them forever. These days it's also pretty difficult to find a Girlfriend if you live at home.

It's just the feeling of being trapped. Nearly half of what I make goes to paying for my car and car insurance.

My dad's girlfriend just lost her job and they live together. They don't know how they're going to make it and that's pressing down on me. I'm thinking of trying to get a second job to help them out.

I dunno, this stuff isn't all that bad compared to some people's problems. I'm just depressed and lonely.
 
Hi Jesse,

Hang in there...You should be proud of yourself.
You said you been diagnosed with all those things...that's a lot.
Are you getting treatment or anytype of recovery or living program to help you cope?

I'm almost in the same shoes that you're in...but I got laid off from my job.
Living with my parents is not the same as having my own home.
Never in a million years did I imagined being single at my age and moving back with my parents.
Attending my support group meetings helps. I opt to not take any medications
and work a 12 steps program. I've recieved some therapy.

Well...That's pretty much how it was for me for a while...All of my money went
towards supporting my family and paying for all the bills.
Lmao...wait until you sign your name on the mortage...so don't feel like you're totally tripp'in.

Yeah...gratitude helps combat depression.

I know a cuttie and she's single..She's my age too. I wish I have my own place
and a decent job. I try to stay positive as best I can.
I can totally lose myself in her. She looks and acts almost like my first gf I had when I was in HS.
It's trippin me out a little bit. I can't afford depression in my life or beating up on myself...Been there and done that.
At least she's talking to me , hangin out and being really friendly at the moment. ( freindzone...lmao)
I juzt wanna reach over and make out with her every time we talk.lmao
The glass is half full ....or at lest I'm in the ballpark :p

It's been a journey...around six months ago i was really, really depressed .
yeap I had that shellshock stuff going too.
Yeap...I hate that feeling stuck feeling.

There's been progress..even though it's not happening as fast or the way I think it should.
 
Hi thanks lonesome crow. I know you've had a rough life. I can't afford medications or treatment unfortunately.
 
Money's a *****, man.

Keep in mind that your first responsibility is toward yourself. That's the way it has to be in this world. If you get a second job use it to help yourself.

I'd see about what kind of student loans are potentially available to you. Consider what kind of part time courses you can take. I'll admit that I don't really know how some kids ever got through school while working full time. It would be like having two full time jobs at once. But perhaps there's some compromise that you could make. If you can enroll part time somewhere perhaps you could see a career counselor too. That might help a little in determining the future.

You said you thought being a math teacher was a possibility. I'd say that would be a good course of action. Math and science teachers will continue to be in demand.

Your Dad and his girlfriend need to fend for themselves. Especially given the history there, they don't have a right to place the burden on you. Jobs are out there if she's determined enough to find one and are willing to settle for what's available.

Oh, and hey. . . Are you working on the 4th? 'cause I got the day off.
 
Hey thanks Lucid. I was considering taking a Phlebotomy course for 600$. It's a 4 month course and after that I could become a Phlebetomist, making 14$ an hour and it'd be a day-time job. That would be enough money to support myself on. I could then have a more stable place to look into college from.
 
Oh and in case you read my last post before I can edit, I actually have to work July 3rd, and 4th nights. Will pm more info.
 
Here's an example of what PTSD does to me. I was just sitting here making Folders for my job and I have to write the date on them, but I started having flashbacks of things my stepdad had done to me when I was younger. It lasted for what seemed like 10 minutes. I don't know how long it was, but it interrupted my work.
 
It sounds to me like your doing quite well, you have a job, with the unemployment levels rising all over the world at the moment, work is becoming alot harder to find. You have a car and a roof over your head. I think that in these times of economic crisis it may be best to keep the job that you have for a while any way. Is there any way that you could get your car loan payments lowered, to give you a bit extra in your pocket each week.
 
I may have things, but I don't have friends. I'm quite lonely. I'd rather have fellowship with others than things. I had to get this car because I couldn't get one without my mom co-signing and this was the only one she'd agree to me getting. I'm going Monday to see about getting a lower payment.
 

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