Depressed, Depressed, Depressed

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wzt_hearts

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i can't connect w/ people at all. Every time I'm out @ a party w/ some friends it seems like all my friends are getting along w/ everyone and talking to girls while I'm in the corner talking to myself in my head trying to overcome my social anxiety.

i get more depressed as every new day turns it's page just waiting until I reach the end of my book, the only thing is it just feels like i'm turning pages and not actually writing anything down. most people look back on their teens & 20's as a fun time in their life, but i haven't did anything since 15 but go on the internet and play games all because I'm too scared to go out and talk to people. I'm 22 now and almost to the point of offing myself.

also, I don't have any real idea about my own self. i always think people don't really notice me because maybe i'm not attractive enough or something, so i figure if someone does notice me it would just be negative attention. I don't think of myself as unattractive though, at least I hope not, because that's pretty much all I have to get someone to notice me. I'm not an interesting person at all (from doing nothing my entire life, but work)& I could never just go up to a girl I thought was cute and talk to her. I wish I could just find that one girl & companion to just have someone to share my memories and life with (if only I could have that)

I've been sleeping a lot & not because I'm tired, but it actually makes me feel better to sleep & pretend that I'm fast forwarding my life.
 
If you see your friends all connecting with people at parties, be there with them, even if you dont really have anything to say just stand there with them. instead of being in the corner, which is because you have put yourself, atleast try and get to know people. i find its the easiest way to make new friends is threw your friends friends. You see them talking, jion in. I was at the pub a couple of nights ago for a friends 20th and i didnt know hardly anyone. i was sitting next to some random guy and i just started talking to him n we had a good old chat. All you need to do is try and get involved with the crowd, get to know your friends friends. maybe even jion a social club to get you used to meeting new people.

Also, if you start thinking negative like "no one ever notices me" then people wont because you wont make yourself noticed. If you look from there perspective it helps, would you leave the crowd of people to go talk to some random sitting in the corner? i know i wouldnt unless i knew them and i would say come over here. Alcohol is a great tool for overcoming your social anxiety, i know i open up alot more after a couple of beers. But it all comes down to your attitude.
 
dancing ussally helps, and if not it at least makes you feel better, it doesn't have to be good dancing, just make sure you can laugh at yourself
it works for me
 
Porman said:
Alcohol is a great tool for overcoming your social anxiety,

i also said that somewhere before....but just dont start drinking....please...dont think is a ultimate solution to that issue
 
Incognita said:
Porman said:
Alcohol is a great tool for overcoming your social anxiety,

i also said that somewhere before....but just dont start drinking....please...dont think is a ultimate solution to that issue

yeah by no means is it the answer, its just a little boost of confidence and makes you more comfortable in situations you would normaly feel uncomfortable.
 
Porman said:
Incognita said:
Porman said:
Alcohol is a great tool for overcoming your social anxiety,

i also said that somewhere before....but just dont start drinking....please...dont think is a ultimate solution to that issue

yeah by no means is it the answer, its just a little boost of confidence and makes you more comfortable in situations you would normaly feel uncomfortable.

yea..i did that coupla times---worked :)
 
I agree with the original poster about sleeping. I like to sleep as much as possible rather than spend more hours awake in this crappy life.
 
RobertJW said:
I agree with the original poster about sleeping. I like to sleep as much as possible rather than spend more hours awake in this crappy life.

Sometimes I feel like I have another in my dreams. I can kind of control my dreams now from force sleeping so much.

it's kind of like playing a game.
 
oh cool so you can lucid dream thats awesome, I've only had a few but i always wake up when i realize I'm dreaming,

but ya, sleeping is great, I take a nap almost everyday after school
 
evanescencefan91 said:
oh cool so you can lucid dream thats awesome, I've only had a few but i always wake up when i realize I'm dreaming,

but ya, sleeping is great, I take a nap almost everyday after school

well, yeah. that's the upside to being lonely. you have a lot of "you" time where you can learn a lot of new and interesting things. i also practice a lot of Zen.
 
Depressed...I can relate to your post. I have felt the same way for many,many years. I have come to the point of almost being a hermit, because I'm so afraid that someone will speak to me and I won't know what to say or it would come out sounding dumb. My situation is a little different, because men would approach me. I have been doing my best though to put on a happy face and try to talk to people lately. It really is a wierd feeling after being so quiet for so long. All I can really offer is my opinion as someone who shares a somewhat reversed take on your dilemma. Life is like a Broadway play is the view that I've adopted. Every1 wears a mask at one point or another when they leave home. Never change who you are inside or as a person, but try to put on a different face (attitude) while you're out. Go up to a few people once in awhile and try out new things in conversation on them until you find something that seems to be working. And, let me tell you , it takes a lot of courage (or at least, it did for me). Put on a big smile or expand on a comment they make to you. Heck, I even came up with some fake stuff just to start a conversation with a stranger. IE: Could I get directions to...or Do you have the time and btw that's a nice watch..I'm sure you get the point. Well, I've left you a small novel. I hope some of this helped, even just a little. Let me know how it goes for you.
 
I really agree with what the others said, if initially ur unable to talk ,just stand next to them and see what they are talking about. THat way ull gain some confidence. If they start talking about stuff that u know, then JOIN IN. ITll be hard the first time but it gets sooo much better when uve done it a couple of times.

Gluck!
 

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