Do most people?

Help Support A LonelyLife forum:

ztyu123

Active member
Joined
Apr 26, 2019
Messages
41
Reaction score
23
Are you settling in and for the sake of a relationship, if not will you settle for someone soon in hope that they are a tolerable partner for the rest of your life, and the sake to fill some of your loneliness?
 

CenotaphGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2021
Messages
1,836
Reaction score
962
Location
United Kingdom
I'll settle when im 35+ if I have no children, if im already a mother... yikes, im never gonna settle.
I'll just be aloneeee a single mother for life.
 

TheRealCallie

Princess Pink Love
Joined
Oct 17, 2013
Messages
13,178
Reaction score
1,587
Location
My house
Define "settling"? I mean, if you are going to get married to a guy you have no real feelings for, why not just get a roommate?

I already did the marriage thing, so I don't really have any interest in that again (not saying I wouldn't if it was the right person and he really wanted it). It's just a pain to get out of if it doesn't work out and honestly...it's just a piece of paper.

I'm good alone, so I have no real reason to settle. If the right guy comes along, I'll dive in, but otherwise, probably not.
 

Incognita

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 26, 2008
Messages
785
Reaction score
20
Location
NY
Are you settling in and for the sake of a relationship, if not will you settle for someone soon in hope that they are a tolerable partner for the rest of your life, and the sake to fill some of your loneliness?
No, have not settled for anything less than love... So, I haven’t settled at all 😄 Loveless life
 

Cherubino

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2022
Messages
282
Reaction score
181
Location
Romania
for some it's also a cultural thing of the time and place you live in ... I lived in an old fashioned rural community where not being married (or more accurate being known that you don't have sex) is really less honorable than being a rapist ... how can someone resist such a social pressure and choose to be an outcast with all the consequences ... I did it and it was hell for my mental health and well being .... still is in many ways
 
Last edited:

NoxApex(N/A)

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2021
Messages
547
Reaction score
447
I think the difference between an ideal relationship and an unrealistic relationship is very important to know, and our feelings can really kind of erase that line, making us easily mix the two up due to ideological fantasies that aren't realistic. The vast majority of the dating pool unfortunately suffers from this grievous confusion.

It is easy to get lost looking for something that doesn't exist if you have strong ideological convictions and believe that it should or does exist regardless of the fact that it does not.

Confirmation Bias is part of the reason this happens, people trying to sew or trace traits of each other together, which is partly what happens in a poly relationship. However a poly relationship does at least forwardly acknowledge that finding all of the said fantastical traits in a single person is unrealistic, its solution to that problem to shape a fantasy into a reality comes with its own set of problems such as increased factorial variables of unwanted drama. That's not at all to say that it doesn't work for some people, because it certainly does, but that you have an increased amount of micromanagement.

The word "Settling" used in terms of relationships I feel is derogatory in its common tongue usage, often for a mature realism or a realistic monogamous relationship.

As a creative I absolutely love the idea of unrealistic fantasy, I'm totally aloof with it. But also as a creative I can easily pull apart what's realistic from what is not. And the fact of the matter is that if I want a mature adult relationship, it has to be within the realms of what's real, not what's fantastical.

I think that people should be more honest about their intentions upfront, hookup culture makes the idea of experiencing your fantasies more accessible, and I think that's an important part of the growing process because an individual will become temporarily addicted to their fantasies until they experience them until they're satisfied with them. Once that level of satisfaction is reached, they can then see the fantasy for what it truly is: a fantasy.

This growth period however is important to experience because it's how you unravel the actual from the dream in this particular instance as A.O. Spare would put it. And as such I would suggest that this is perhaps a more reformed utilization of hookup culture.

Of course there are other ways of accomplishing this separation, after all, the laws of attraction are indeed all mental, but the larger majority of less experienced people and younger people in particular get too easily caught up in the physical aspects --not just things like aesthetics and sex, but also the value of monetary acclamation because we humans oh so love our shiny little trinkets, and particularly of youth culture that's an easy trait to latch onto that in truth some people even as young adults in the 30+ age range still can't let go of.

To me, the difference between fantasy and reality is similar to the difference between a 4K and 8K resolution: 4K is good enough, upscaling to 8K isn't truly 8K anyhow, and sometimes can even diminish the quality. Granted, I am that way because I'm from older times now that I'm 34 years old, back 20 years ago when I was in my teens and we all still had CRT monitors and televisions the idea of 4K resolution was a mind-boggling fantasy.

So what is it then that makes dreams come true?
What is it that makes a fantasy into a reality, and how is that accomplished?

Well, the truth is, A Lie, actually.
Literally. That's what it is. That's the answer.

With technological advancement, it's accomplished through Marketing.
The PlayStation 5 is a great example of this: State Of The Art Hardware, aaanndddd most of the games available for it are just higher resolution versions of the games from the previous generation of consoles. But the way that it's marketed and advertised is to push sales, not for practicalities.

Another easy example is Cars,
High performance sports cars can cost unrealistic amounts of money, and somebody, somewhere who's lost in an affluent fantasy and calls themselves an "enthusiast" will absolutely empty their bank account just to have a Bugatti Chiron (a name that I find ironic, because mythologically Chiron the Centaur was kind of cursed despite his greatness) and that exact same amount of money can easily be spent more efficiently investing into real estate or business endeavors or business investments to make you more money.

Much of what we want and desire, is placated to us through fantasy, and anybody who's ever gotten swindled on a bad deal in the spur of the moment of an impulsive decision has experienced it. That's how Pyramid Schemes work, selling someone an idea rather than the objective data. The objective data is the actual truth, which is less fantastical and more practical, bbbuuutttt that doesn't placate to the desires and wants of people, so instead marketing sells a fantasy because a fantasy is easier to believe and confuse as a reality.

I could go on and on with analogies but I think I wrote enough of a bible of a post for one morning over my coffee. 😌😂😅
 

Latest posts

Top