Do you believe in ever after ?

[user 188685]

Do you believe in happly ever after?I mean really happy forever?Some people don't trust and have a lot of trust issues,what are your thoughts on this?

 

[Adamridge79]

I've been told it's possible, and I think it may be, especially when I see this little old man, hands a little shaky, shopping with his equally old wife, and the way they work in tandem, and you can see the love they share. I think it's technically possible.

 

[user 188644]

No not at all.. The fantasy is that you find the perfect person and it just works forever. There are exceptions to every rule but nothing is like that. If you work on your relationship and happen to have made a sensible choice to really decide if the person you commit to is someone who will grow with you sure it can last until death. I don't think anyone with the attitude do nothing and expect it to work out ever gets what they want.

 

[Adamridge79]

Oh, it's a lot of work to be sure. My past relationships were me looking for a dumpster fire, and I was the gasoline or vice versa. That apparently isn't 'healthy' I'm told.

 

[user 188644]

How has that changed, for you? Isn't it like almost harder to be with nice well adjusted people? Like you're bound to scare them off. Or that's my experience.

 

[Adamridge79]

Here's what I've been trying to do, not well, but trying. I try to first find someone I'd consider equal, if not better. I'd have to respect them, but also expect respect in return. The hangup with that is I have such low self esteem, initiating any conversation is pretty **** difficult.

 

[user 188644]

I wonder what a type of person you respect looks like. Not aesthetically the make up of their character, accomplishments etc. That's kinda an issue for me too actually. It's like I only respect people who are too good for me so getting what I think is respect in return doesn't happen.

 

[Adamridge79]

For me, it's someone who could match with me conservationaly. Call out my bullshit. And has been through their own personal hellfires, and can be more objective.

 

[MoonRiver]

Yes, I do. With a lot of work, effort, a handful of patience a pinch of consistency and a spoonfool of compromise, it is possible

 

[The Wanderer]

Lets assume you lived forever and "happily forever after" was actually possible... Why would one compatible person make it a certainty? Is your future so contingent upon that person? Isn't it decided by a myriad of other factors? Lets put a pin in that.

Are you going to be the same person in ten years time? Twenty? Thirty? Are they?
Remove trust from the equation. What is your brain telling you about the idea of being content with one person for the rest of time? Does it seem plausible? Lets put a pin in that.

Lets assume that for some reason you do find that plausible, that you are a person capable of being content with one thing for the rest of time and that your tastes are as unchanging as stone... is that who you want to be? Lets put a pin in that, take all three pins out then leap to cover before the concept of "happily ever after" explodes into a hail of shrapnel and fairy dust like a hand grenade made by Walt Disney.
You know what humans are, you know what you are. Perfection does not exist and if it did you would not opt for it. Time lays waste to all things and the things it spares are dull and unchanging.

 

[Finished]

Well, happy ever after is possible thanks to modern drugs. But, without them nope.

Humans can not always be happy. If they were then that would become the new baseline, which wouldn't really be happy any more. It would just be okay. We are always searching for something better. I think everything gets boring after awhile.

 

[user 188644]

Well, happy ever after is possible thanks to modern drugs. But, without them nope.

Humans can not always be happy. If they were then that would become the new baseline, which wouldn't really be happy any more. It would just be okay. We are always searching for something better. I think everything gets boring after awhile.

I don't think the idea is that you'd be permanently happy, but permanently compatible.

 

[Finished]

I don't think the idea is that you'd be permanently happy, but permanently compatible.

That would be great!

 

[user 188685]

Well, happy ever after is possible thanks to modern drugs. But, without them nope.

Humans can not always be happy. If they were then that would become the new baseline, which wouldn't really be happy any more. It would just be okay. We are always searching for something better. I think everything gets boring after awhile.

Very true

 

[sparkyn98]

Even as an old lady, I've always been a romantic at heart. That being said, you've all made valid points. Happily ever after isn't just something that falls into your lap. Even if you meet someone who seems "perfect" for you and you immediately click.... there's always something there that you may have to work through... something called life and adult responsibilities. LOL

I think I have dated a lot of selfish men over the years because I'm a caretaker. However, the second something happens in my life (ie my dad's cancer, my own health issues) that I need support or help with and these same men I've been with for years just throw tantrums and I have to let them go so I can take care of me and my family. Then I realize as I look back, they were just place-holders.

Now, I think I'm too old to change my ways for anyone. But, I still love to see love happening!

 

[Cherubino]

yes and the way to it is to think this way

 

[user 188522]

Fascinating video Cherubino! It gave me lots to think about . Thanks.

 

[user 188685]

Even as an old lady, I've always been a romantic at heart. That being said, you've all made valid points. Happily ever after isn't just something that falls into your lap. Even if you meet someone who seems "perfect" for you and you immediately click.... there's always something there that you may have to work through... something called life and adult responsibilities. LOL

I think I have dated a lot of selfish men over the years because I'm a caretaker. However, the second something happens in my life (ie my dad's cancer, my own health issues) that I need support or help with and these same men I've been with for years just throw tantrums and I have to let them go so I can take care of me and my family. Then I realize as I look back, they were just place-holders.

Now, I think I'm too old to change my ways for anyone. But, I still love to see love happening!

All very true

 

[tedgresham]

I used to believe in happily ever after. But I never dreamed my wife's idea of happily ever after would be sitting in a recliner watching TV and not much else. Now I fry inside for being stuck here and unable to get across and I'd fry inside if I left. Damned either way. Happily ever after is a concept that should be ignored.

 

[LoneStarLoner]

Maybe it's possible for some, but as for me being 33 never dated,never had a girlfriend it's not possible. I'm going to pick the guitar soon as I can afford to something to fill the void. I have a lot of free time not a lot but I either work or at home trying to find things to distract myself from the fact I have no friends or family and nothing to do...