velvetstories
New member
I feel like I'm drowning. From all sides.
My life is an absolute honeysuckle. Like there's literally nothing for me to hold on to. Nothing to live for. I merely exist. I am pointless. Worthless. I just take up space. I am being abused in all fronts; in my job, in my house, in my family. It's like I was born to be everybody's punching bag. A constant reminder of what a failure I am. I have no career aspects. No ambitions. Nothing I actually want out of life. The single reason I am still here typing is because of my dog. And most of the times, I wish she were dead, so that I can drown myself in pills and never wake up. I've tried it a few times, but I always knew when to stop. Just how much to take. Enough to make everyone worried, but not nearly enough that I'd never wake up from it. I know that one day though, I won't stop. I'm slowly reaching this day. I feel nothing but darkness and pure oblivion in me. I feel comfortable in the dark and the silence is bliss. There's been many occasions where I just stare into nothingness. I just am. I don't want anything. And that's what scares me the most. The emptiness. The absolute emptiness.
My life is an absolute honeysuckle. Like there's literally nothing for me to hold on to. Nothing to live for. I merely exist. I am pointless. Worthless. I just take up space. I am being abused in all fronts; in my job, in my house, in my family. It's like I was born to be everybody's punching bag. A constant reminder of what a failure I am. I have no career aspects. No ambitions. Nothing I actually want out of life. The single reason I am still here typing is because of my dog. And most of the times, I wish she were dead, so that I can drown myself in pills and never wake up. I've tried it a few times, but I always knew when to stop. Just how much to take. Enough to make everyone worried, but not nearly enough that I'd never wake up from it. I know that one day though, I won't stop. I'm slowly reaching this day. I feel nothing but darkness and pure oblivion in me. I feel comfortable in the dark and the silence is bliss. There's been many occasions where I just stare into nothingness. I just am. I don't want anything. And that's what scares me the most. The emptiness. The absolute emptiness.